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email exchange with my handsome, platonic male friend. he caught me in a moment. i’m usually having a moment. my whole life is a moment. 

me: i think maybe every guy I’ve dated this year has been a rebound of a rebound of a rebound. A series of 2 month stints that go nowhere….I’m just uninspired/not fascinated by the men i date lately and too self aware/aware in general for my own good. I wonder if u and i were bf and gf if we’d cheat on and/or kill each-other.

him: yes I’d drive you crazy with how boring I am. You’d get sick of me real fast probably. Do YOU think we’d kill one another?

me: i think we could be good together. but you’d have to rise to the occasion. i wonder if u could do that. I’d probably always be mad at you… But not always in a heavy or serious way. I’d need lots of validation sometimes, and lots of space other times. I’d also want to hold hands and kiss in public. And i’d want to make out and have sex at least twice a day (not in public). You’d be gruff and say things that would offend me and i’d either hate u/get cold/laugh/jump on and wrestle with u/and or say something to get u back. I love banter and long talks and having heated discussions about things we don’t agree on-  an idiot would think we were having an argument, but really we’d just be having a philosophical debate that would wind from a -z and back again… And after we would have great sex. I don’t believe in cheating (even though I’ve cheated). I also don’t believe in open relationships. Ideally i’d want to trust that when u weren’t happy for whatever reason, you’d be honest and tell me so we could talk about it/fix it/or end it. would this be too much for u? probably. 

him: I doubt I could rise to the occasion. I am lazy and have a hard time going the extra mile sometimes. I love giving space, and having it, hold hands and kiss in public = yes (…), I love being offensive but wouldn’t know until it had been a while if I could feel comfortable making off color and vaguely racist jokes to you. It’s all too much! But who knows. Maybe I could be grown up enough to handle stuff. So long as there were theme parks. Short answer: it’s a lot but would likely be worth it!


the guy i was emailing with, we never ended up sexxxing or dating. he remains just a friend, who’s in a long term relationship as it is… but it was nice to vent.

8 Responses to “there’s a freedom in emailing…”

  1. Wouldn’t you hate it if you were in a long relationship with a guy and another woman was having this email conversation with him?
    You are seeking validation from him and he is not even your boyfriend.
    I think the answer to all your problems is to stop seeking validation from men and start being a lovely caring girlfriend who thinks of others.

  2. ^ What she said. :-/

  3. Jemima hit the nail on the head. I’ve been reading this blog for some time. I think rather than be the fierce, independent and unapologetic person you believe yourself to be… You’re simply desperate. I’m all for woman empowerment and open sexuality, but in the past few months you’ve crossed that threshold into a new land of needing validation from unattainable men and legions of “fans”. When my daughter is old enough I will show her this blog and explain to her this is *exactly* what you don’t want to be, think or act.

    Is it hypocritical to read a blog call “I’m boy crazy” and expect some semblance of feminism and inner strength? Yes. But perhaps you’ll find the end result of this blog is that you gain the ability to stand on your own.

  4. Well hold on to your hats Jess and Jemima wait to hear my input in response to the sacred words and broadcasts of Alexi Celine Wasser.
    In response, to an earlier broadcast. Alexi the fact you can sit in the pool of a celebrity at a party and examine and critique the misbehavior or the hollywood crowd that surround you is an indicator that your sense of self has grown.

    Now in response to what was aforementioned above. Before you are capable of finding people of worth you have to learn to value yourself. Unless you learn to like yourself everyman you meet will be an experience of disablement, devaluing and deconstruction. A never ending cycle of sorrow.

  5. Part:2

    Looking for Attachment, Attachment, Attachment. Words are hollow unless they can be carried out(Empty Promises). Love requires 3 componetns duty, dedication and loyalty. Ask yourself Alexi Wasser, do you have them? If you believe you do then seek them out in your soul mate.

    With Sentiments.

    Dr. Dan

  6. im sure your post is great but i cant stop looking at those super hot models.

  7. this conversation reminds me of an interesting project that two friends of four years did. new day/date/post everyday. the graphics are pretty cool as well.

  8. he never said one thing about the cheating…

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