BLOG » ‘The Blind Leading The Blind’ (part 118) by JARRETT GRODE
Normally I don’t let anyone but ME write my ‘The Blind Leading The Blind’ posts, but Jarrett Grode is one of my favorite friends! He’s the FUNNIEST, smartest person I know! We’ve known each other since preschool, and i STILL like him! He gets me! but more importantly, he gets ‘it’. He sees the world the same way i do… and even manages to surprise me & make me laugh with things i never thought to notice or think about! isn’t that exciting? i know!
He’s a writer, comedian, and author!
And for the love of god, buy his book “I, Ching” and READ IT! i did! you won’t regret it!
The Blind Leading The Blind (by Jarrett Grode):
1. Texting “here!” instead of calling when you’re outside to pick me up is just bizarre. If you want to avoid speaking to me that badly, don’t give me a ride.
2. You sound weak when you say “my dog loves me unconditionally.”
3. If your Facebook profile picture is anything other than a picture of you, it’s like saying you’re not interested in having sex with anyone on the site or couldn’t if you tried.
4. Here’s a mnemonic device so you don’t embarrass yourself by confusing astronomy and astrology: ASTRONomy ASTRONaut ASTROLogy IS NOT SCIENCE.
5. It’s okay when I call it the Jew York Times but you have to say Jewish.
6. Play it safe: NEVER TEXT DRUG DEALS without writing “jk” at the end.
7. An easy way to accurately determine someone’s height is ask then subtract an inch.
8. Don’t look down at people who try to meet people online. You’re online right now.
9. If you think Mad Men is boring DON’T ADMIT IT. (It means you’re stupid.)
10. If you want to possess the single most attractive quality anyone can have, be passionate about working hard at something you love doing. This will allow you to afford your own place, which is the single most attractive quality anyone can have.