BLOG » GUEST POST: ‘Things I’ve Learned About Men’ By Amanda Leigh



I can read a man like a book. But I haven’t always been that way. I had to get seriously played to learn the game. (So to speak. I can’t stand games. It’s a figure of speech.) In other words, I’ve been hurt, surprised, upset, shocked, duped, and manipulated enough to consider myself a seasoned dater. It doesn’t take me long to figure a man out and it isn’t complicated. You just have to be willing to admit the truth of what you see to yourself. Here is a short list of things I have learned from my dating experiences with men. I know you have a short attention span so I tried to keep it brief for you. You’re welcome. Here it goes…

•If a man takes you to a restaurant where everyone knows him and waits on him hand and foot, you are not special. That’s where he takes all of his dates.

•If he refuses to get a pedicure because it’s not manly, he will not go with you to see a therapist to work on your relationship issues. He has too much pride.

•If he says he doesn’t like drama, he will be the one to create it.

•If he tries to have sex with you without a condom on your first date, he does that with every woman he meets. Good luck when you get an STD test.

•If he doesn’t call or text the day after you have sex with him for the first time, he’s not going to be your boyfriend.

•If he artfully changes the subject when you ask him if he’s married, he’s married.

•If he doesn’t walk you to your car at the end of the night he isn’t a caring, conscientious person.

•If he calls you to tell you he’s driving in your neighborhood but doesn’t come over to fuck you he has a small penis.

•If he calls you “sweetie”, “honey”, or “baby” before you actually get to know him well, he doesn’t respect women. He may call your mother that when he first meets her.

•If he says, “you need to relax” or “you’re overreacting” when you’re sharing your feelings, he’s emotionally immature and incapable of listening and hearing you.If you can’t tell whether he’s gay or straight, he’s gay.

•If he’s a recovering drug addict or alcoholic, he likely won’t recover from narcissism.

•If you only hear from him every once in a while and there is no consistency in his communication he’s not that excited about you. He won’t wake up one day and change his mind.

•If he’s an asshole or a douche… he’s an asshole or a douche. If you try to change him you will make yourself crazy.

A man who is healthy, mature, and respectful will be straightforward, honest, and considerate. He will handle his business. He will honor you and be genuine about his intentions. He won’t lie or act like an immature idiot. He won’t have anything to prove. He will get it. Wait for him. He’s worth it.

I’m still waiting for my guy that’s for sure. If you know of anyone, please let me know. In the meantime you can find me cuddling on a Friday night with my four-legged sexless lesbian lover (AKA my dog.) #ImSingle

If you want to follow me on Insta, I’m @therealamandaleigh. On Facebook I’m

4 Responses to “GUEST POST: ‘Things I’ve Learned About Men’ By Amanda Leigh”

  1. i’m so sorry for you if this is real thing. I can only imagine how you learned all this crap. A piece of advice, if you keep going by this ‘rules’ you’re fucked.

  2. My advice to you Amanda, and to all women out there.

    Rules for Harmony with any man:

    1) Don’t Assume
    2) Don’t take things Personally
    3) Be Impeccable with your Words
    4) Do your best, it’s all you have. Even if things don’t go as planned, you still did your best, and that’s all you can humanly do.



  3. Whats surprising about how these types of ‘rules’ come about is that there is no compromise. There is no middle ground. There is no silver lining to any of these.

    I didn’t take too much offense to this. I assumed it was a hastily written manifesto in reaction to seeing an ex on the “people you may know” column. Whatever it was, it was ill advised and lacked depth or real explanation. BUT…

    A few questions.

    What if the very first time you two had sex was months after you met and you were sure you were in love and he appreciated you? Would it still be a bad idea to have unprotected sex. That was written on the pretense that this sexual encounter would be a lot sooner than most females would want to. Which is contradictory to your original point because women sometimes complain that men move too fast.

    And how could you assume alcoholism and drug addiction is rooted in narcissism? If you think that then is becoming depressed (as all people of the human kind sometimes do) is a product of narcissism? Addiction is a disease, where recovery from it is only possible if people like you weren’t there for the process.Someone close to you must have really let you down.

    And did you EVER come across the thought that MAYBE, just maybe you ARE overreacting? I mean I know I liked more than one of her pictures but DAMN. You don’t need to sulk at the dinner table when we’re eating with our friends and be on your phone the entire time. And only after you’ve had 3 cocktails (when you said you’d only have one) you decide to confront almost every issue that concerned me, you, your father, and anyone else caught in the eye of the storm.

    It’s not fair to make insensitive generalizations. It’s especially not fair to you, that when you say “you’re welcome” and then somewhere in there relate narcissism directly to men.

    The truth is. It’s not worth the headache for women or men to claim that they can read the opposite sex like a book. Actually it’s really stupid. I don’t know shit about what women think. And I most definitely cannot read a woman easily. Women are complex/difficult/ethereal/delicate/angry creatures that are to be respected and held down and protected, and set free and wooed and loved and fucked and all sorts of verbs and stuff. But in the same breath, men are a force that isn’t be confused solely to a list of bullshit things that you have confused as facts.

  4. Let’s be honest: men are awful. I say this, as a man, because even though I try my damnedest to be a great boyfriend/lover/fuckbuddy/date/one-night stand/etc and avoid all the asshole moves that assholes make, I still manage to fuck it up at least 9 times out of 10. I go in with 100% best intentions and yet somehow do or say exactly the wrong things or maybe the right things but in the wrong way. And, presto! There are tears and I feel like an asshole. Maybe I am an asshole.

    It’s possible that women are just as bad, only I don’t know it because I’m not one, but if you have the bad luck to be attracted to men, realize that no amount of rules in the world will change the fact that we suck.

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