BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 137):

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1. don’t treat people like a priority who treat you like an option.

 

2. use your most humiliating, shameful experiences in your work OR throw yourself into work to distract yourself from thinking about your insanely embarrassing experience. that’s what I’M doing right now.

 

3. if he gives you a urinary tract infection… he’s a keeper!

 

4. its interesting to me. if you care or THINK you care about a friend of yours and feel the need to defend them, as though it’s your responsibility to make your presence and the ‘threat of you’ known if someone were to ‘fuck’ with your friend, take a moment to consider that that might come off as more insulting to your friend and the person in their life, than helpful. maybe worry about yourself, join alanon, or just not have such a huge ego that you feel threatened/the need be the center of attention or the savior. when you enmesh yourself in a couple’s relationship and cause a problem that never existed, how does that make you a friend? give your ‘friend’ the benefit of the doubt that they can take care of themselves and aren’t weak/incapable.  maybe you should focus on your own problems. of which there are plenty, i’m sure.

 

5. use ‘i am a ghost’ as your new  mantra. the other night i was feeling very moody, alone, misunderstood, and judged while amongst my closest friends – during what was disguised as a fun night out on the town (albeit forced). in order to get over my sensitive, moody moment, I thought to myself “I am a ghost” as if I were already dead / not here anymore, so nothing really matters anyways and shouldn’t be taken so seriously.

 

6. look around you. actually look at and acknowledge all the people doing the jobs you would NEVER even want to CONSIDER doing. notice how gracefully they do those jobs. notice that, and be grateful for all you have and try, just TRY to be empathetic and loving towards those trying to earn money and survive the best they can. push your ego aside and be nice and not so fucking judgemental, if only for a moment. if only because you’re glad it’s not YOU.

 

7. hey, if you’re too poor to afford a REAL leather jacket or purse – get a fake one at forever 21 and tell your friends it’s cuz you love animals. they don’t have to know you don’t. they’ll just be happy you don’t like little kids. the little kids in the sweatshop who made your designer imposter clutch. you’re welcome. i want you to FASHIONABLY FLOURISH.

 

8. you’re racist. you think you aren’t, but you are. it’s disgusting.

 

9. just because your father made you, doesn’t mean he’s NOT a toxic piece of projecting shit that you should cut out of your life. cut that piece of shit mother fucker out of your life. i mean, that’s what i did. but, like, we’re all different. if this is not the case for you… can i come over to YOUR house for thanksgiving? i eat meat, love kids, and have a real leather purse.

 

10. i don’t care what everyone ELSE says about you, I love you.


11 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 137):”

  1. My goodness! I instantly became confused when you said that “he’s a keeper”. I’m sure you were kidding . (Tbh I’m gulable and it’s something that I might need to work on)

    Anyways… Love your writing!


  2. Thank you and I love you too <3

    Also, for above commenter – he's a keeper because he cuddles you after sex! No time for peeing when there's snuggles up for grabs 🙂


  3. I thought you got a UTI from having too much sex… so wouldn’t you want to keep “him”?


  4. I’m a guy n have been reading your columns for the past five years now and yea just thank you for still doing this! You are great and give great (and bad in a good way?) advice. I think I’ve handled a lotta situations in my dating life better because of your website and opinions. I started reading when I was like 14 and called in and totally proposed to you once.. Anyways thank you I love you and I hope you keep doing this as long as it benefits you as well<3


  5. No. 1 + no. 2 = nailed it!


  6. (1) Do you treat people as an option or a priority.
    (2) Stumble and fumble and bumble and just keep on going
    (3) I hope this is sarcasm you did inquire about hpv. My only recommendation don’t be a living petri dish or you will be treated like one.
    (4) Two is a company, three a crowd stay out of love triangles they are just tar baby entanglements from a tactical to strategic stand point.
    (5)I am going to TKO and TRO this technique. My favorite technique is that you say it best when you say nothing at all.
    (6)Are you a narcissist?
    (7)Go to goodwill or out of the closet and you can get a real leather jacket on the cheap. 🙂
    (8)Weird!!!!!!—-o maybe
    (9) Maybe you don’t get along with your father because you have the same personality as Julian Wasser, step further are you Julian Wasser reincarnated in female form. I mean you tell fat woman to go and kill themselves doesn’t that mean that you are mean and as toxic if not more than your father. He’s old he is gonna die, make up with him, bury the hatchet so to speak so you will not have any regrets meet him for coffee. Besides you have a reputation of being mean and cruel, you tell fat women to kill themselves doesn’t thatmake you as toxic as Julian. Remeber sometimes the apple does not fall far from the tree.

    (10) Before you can love someone else you have to like yourself first.

    Sincerely,

    Dr. Dan
    Your friendly neighborhood nemesis


  7. This is recap there were some technical problems. We have been hearing about the long running drama with your father for so long why don’t you do an “Alexi in Bed” with him. Have some sort of discussion/talk daughter and father. Perhaps there can be some kind of truce. Your all grown up Alexi, your father is elderly you might as well cut him some slack and try to get to know him on some level before he passes because in the end he is still your dad. I am sure he has his drawbacks (caustic) being one of them, but step into his shoes and see life from his perspective perhaps this will provide you with guidance that you will not repeat the same mistakes. Take his good aspects and incorporate them into your personal growth, but most of all and I want to emphasize don’t and I am not saying that you necessarily do exploit your troubled relationship with your father for SHOWBIZ it only lowers your pedestal. To be honest, from what I have seen your dad has given you something you just have to sit back awhile and clear the pure unadulterated rage and figure what they are before he is gone.

    Sincerely,

    Peaceful and Lovable

    Dr. Dan


  8. I feel number 4 is a lesson taken from watching Brandi on the last season of The Berverly Hills Housewives . hihiiihi <3


  9. #8 is something i admit to freely. white people make me sick. you all think its totally cool to act fake nice about everything but its not. its annoying. just get mad but not dramatic sometime.

    #9 should never be restricted to just the dad, nor should it be restricted to birth parents.


  10. Until you fix your relationship with your father, you will not have a healthy relationship with a man…its just like your list about how a man treats his mother. You are half him and need to accept him and yourself. Then a good man will embrace and love you for who you are and what you are and you will be accepting to him and his imperfections


  11. Is Dr Dan Julian Wasser or why does he give a shit? Why does Tim Wright give a shit? Plenty of people are estranged from their parents and many of those people have healthy relationships with their loves (Alexi excluded). Its a myth that a man has to love his mother or daughter has to lover her dad to have helathy relationships. We’re animals not machines.


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