BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 138):
1. if your boyfriend starts responding to your texts with TLDR, it’s over.
2. how about you wipe the blood off your tweezers before your hot date comes over and uses your bathroom?
3. when you go on auditions, the goal is to sound like real people, right? can someone please tell the girls who work retail to have the same goal?
4. if you always sit in front of your laptop with photo booth open, you’re never really alone.
5. if you could take or leave seeing the person you’re dating… END IT. (same rule applies to how you feel after a 1st date)
6. you should never text someone if you can’t handle them NOT responding.
7. girls, how can you not be aware of the great disservice you’re doing to yourself when checking your phone in the dark, either at da club or just in public in general? That harsh light on your face from below is BRUTAL! BRUTAL! The goal is to give yourself the best chance/shot at life possible and not stand in your own way/be your own worst enemy. thank you.
8. next time your friend asks you if you know someone, just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. don’t immediately launch into a character assassination of a person they may actually really like. but if they ask you what you think of that person… that’s another story.
9. patience is athletic. it’s a muscle. strengthen it every chance you get.
10. when going on a date, no matter how trustworthy your date seems, always pack your phone charger & assume there’s a good chance you might be pushed out of the car and abandoned, or have to break free from the clutches of a mad man- in which case, you’ll need your goddamn phone charger! Isn’t dating fun?