BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 139:)

by juergen

 

1. let people miss you. give them that gift.

 

2. hey stream of consciousness texters, how about you fit ALL the info you want to express in ONE chunky text! The beeps from you fucking texting me are making me hate you!

 

3.it’s ok, you’re fat. just stop hating yourself and TALKING ABOUT IT and we’ll be fine!

 

4. it doesn’t matter how much you love the jeans or how great they fit; if the denim wash sux, you CAN’T buy them. YOU JUST CAN’T!

 

5. look around you. you probably have everything you need. you’re probably indulging in food and buying things you have no need for that you might even already own. How about you start asking yourself if something is a ‘want’ vs ‘need’ before you consume consume consume. i swear to gawd, you’ll start to notice the quiet weird voice inside your head that compels you to buy stuff.

 

6. sometimes a good way to see what kind of guy/girl your dealing with is to cancel a date with them and then see how they react. You can get a real sense of how insane a person’s ego is when you cancel on them. It’s enough to make you NEVER want to reschedule!

 

7. if you’re in a long distance relationship (which aren’t real relationships anyway btw) and he only sees you 3 days a month and chooses going home to be with his cats instead of you, you should start re-evaluating your relationship and start looking for a guy who loves you & wants to be with you as much as he loves and wants to be with his cats. Actually, scratch that, NEVER date a guy with cats AGAIN! And ONLY date men who live in the same city as you!

 

8. the internet may be hurting our social skills, but it’s really improving our ability to defend ourselves in writing because we’re constantly forced to explain our misunderstood texts/tweets/fb comments/& status updates. i mean, sure we could just pick up the phone to avoid a miscommunication / diffuse the written misunderstanding in an instant… but that would be TOO easy.

 

9. a guy who wants to call a girl, and has her #, but is too shy to call her…is either an ADORABLE feeler of feelings with a sensitive heart of gold OR a total pussy. Guys: Don’t risk being mislabeled and just call the girl!

 

10. if you happen to be dating someone as insecure as you but who doesn’t respond to your insecure jokes/need for validation/moments of weakness the same accommodating way you do with theirs – instead of focusing on the fact that they can’t see the double standard in your relationship or that he may be subconsciously allergic to weakness in others/terrified by insecure needy women and the threat of being enmeshed by them like he may have been by his mother… INSTEAD, if you really like him and know how great you are, use his reaction to you when you’re needy and use the relationship as a whole as a tool to be stronger and not seek validation from a guy/a person you’re dating or anyone! ever! get out of the habit! be better! rise above the need to be reassured by someone; rise above giving someone your power. fuck this guy! fuck anyone else! sure you hope to be vulnerable and insecure and raw with the person you date, but if he can’t handle it, but you can handle his needs… be the bigger person. it will make you better and stronger and less weak. it’ll open your heart to being loving and understanding of his neediness without expecting the same in return. i mean, this doesn’t mean he’s not supportive and wonderful; i’m just referring to an aspect of men that don’t respond well/and turn off like a robot to neediness. one day, maybe he’ll soften. maybe he’ll notice the inequality. maybe he’ll laugh at your jokes that stem from insecurity, like you do with his- without taking you so seriously. but, in the end, his inability will make you stronger and provide a great opportunity and life lesson for you to retrain your brain and stop leading with insecurities. just be happy and live in the moment and know you’re great and liked and loved without having to ask/question it. pay attention to his actions. the good things he DOES do! listen to your intuition. and know your worth all on your own. be grounded in you. don’t ever walk on eggshells, but pick your battles. and never forget what your FRIENDS are for… to unload all the excess bullshit you can’t tel the person you’re dating!

 


16 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 139:)”

  1. Re: #6, are these kinds of tests really a thing? Doing or saying things just to gauge your date/partner’s reaction? I thought that was just a thing assholes made up to justify being assholes when they didn’t get their way.


  2. Dear Alexi, will you please make us a spotify sex playlist? I know it’s a random request but you’ve good taste and you know sex so it’d be really cool. Thanks xxx


  3. I love that you’re writing these again. They’ve always helped me to feel less alone with my feelings whenever I was down because a relationship wasn’t going the way I wanted.

    Oh! But I will say, you totally can buy “wrong wash” jeans. Just throw bleach on them, and you’ll have an amazing, totally wear-able thingy that’s unique.


  4. that No. 10 is ALL I NEED right now. thank you alexi.


  5. Re: All of this gold

    I swear to god I just wish I had you on speed dial. You really do get it–you get empowerment and you get relationship. And you get writing. And sex.

    I’ll put myself out there as an asshole for a moment–It’s hard to be evolved emotionally because I don’t get this kind of advice from my friends, as much as I love them.

    So as a person whose crazy for boys too, having your input is incredibly helpful.

    Thanks a ton xxxxox


  6. Why does Alexi worship Woody Allen on one of her 3 Facebook pages? Please go read the article that came out in Vanity Fair entitled “10 Undeniable Facts About the Woody Allen Sexual-Abuse Allegation.” The facts of the case, as determined in a court of law, speak for themselves.


  7. Men: always be late, don’t return calls or texts and expect sex on demand.


  8. Definitely don’t agree with the long distance relationship one. Many long distance relationships DO work. It’s about the person you’re with. If you’re in a long distance relationship with someone who’s not committed, obviously it’s not going to work (like it wouldn’t work without the long distance part). If you find someone who is committed, it will work.


  9. re #9: can’t a guy be BOTH a pussy & an ADORABLE FEELER of feelings w a heart of gold? pretty sure i found one.


  10. Hey Alexi,

    I hope it’s okay to share my blog post on here. I’ve been trying to sort out my feelings about ending this relationship that I tried doing 3 times… Three times wasn’t a charm, but I felt brave enough to tell him what I was doubting about our relationship and gave him the chance to respond.

    http://toomodern.tumblr.com/post/141316927180/well-we-tried


  11. I love these so much. Post more!


  12. Number six is just gross. Healthy relationships are case studies, not randomized, controlled trials.


  13. To start I’d like to include a little backstory about myself. I’ve been living in Austin Texas for a year since returning from a fretful yet amazingly important year of growth and traveling abroad. From the cliches of cocaine and IG models to the back washed islands of Thailand. In the past year I’ve spent more time analyzing myself more than the usual “just short of narrcassstic”decoding. And as such it is my ritual to stay up some nights until the morning, writing and analyzing and writing goals and realizations and empiphanies(without drugs I might add) and I have these nights, and I’m having one now.
    This has been one of those strangely connected sequences of events in which first, I was reading a book a few months back boss girl or girl boss, for some reason I can never remember which order. Beside the point, I alway open it up to a random page, and expect a message of some kind of serendipity-like message (which seems counterproductive, but it’s not)
    Anywho, I turned to a page about you and this blog. Within five seconds of scanning it(because I’m so severely add) I re read and read a couple times and couldn’t contain the need to look up at the ceiling and blurt ,
    This is me; I should have done this, basically bitch stole my look. But no- really- I thought wow, this is an incredible thing.
    Two months later at another shift in my life- I moved cities to become a real productive citizen of the world doing gods work as a high school English teacher. And spending less time self analyzing and I have to say, I really connected with this piece. Especially because for some reason at 1:00 am on some idle Tuesday I actually remembered to look you up for advice. Because I didn’t two months ago, and it’s because I was looking for number 10. And there it is, black and white. The best fucking moment of my day. Number 10- couldn’t be more like the inner workings of my tedious cycle brain of the constant struggle between independence and co dependency.
    Thank you.
    I love what you’ve done to the place

    Best,
    Taycamjamz


  14. Also I was talking about bondi beach in that little tid bit about IG hoes


  15. Edited ***
    To start I’d like to include a little backstory about myself. I’ve been living in Austin Texas for a year since returning from a fretful yet amazingly important year of growth and traveling abroad. From the cliches of cocaine IG models of bondi beach to the back washed islands of Thailand in low season. In the past year I’ve spent more time analyzing myself more than the usual “just short of narrcassstic”decoding. And as such it is my ritual to stay up some nights until the morning, writing and analyzing and writing goals and realizations and empiphanies(without drugs I might add) and I have these nights, and I’m having one now.
    This has been one of those strangely connected sequences of events in which first, I was reading a book a few months back boss girl or girl boss, for some reason I can never remember which order. Beside the point, I alway open it up to a random page, and expect a message of some kind of serendipity-like tendency (which seems counterproductive, I know- but it’s not)
    Anywho, I turned to a page about you and this blog. Within five seconds of scanning it(because I’m so severely add) I re read and read a couple times and couldn’t contain the need to look up at the ceiling and blurt ,
    This is me; I should have done this, basically bitch stole my look. But no- really- I thought wow, this is an incredible thing.
    Two months later at another shift in my life- I moved cities to become a real productive citizen of the world doing gods work as a high school English teacher. And spending less time self analyzing and I have to say, I really connected with this piece. Especially because for some reason at 1:00 am on some idle Tuesday I actually remembered to look you up for advice. Because I didn’t two months ago, and it’s because I was looking for number 10. And there it is, black and white. The best fucking moment of my day. Because Number 10- couldn’t have said it better myself and I’m glad you did . Thanks for the validation of the inner workings of my tedious never ending- cycle and make up story brain , and for so clearly putting in a way I cannot- the constant struggle between independence and co dependency.
    Thank you.
    I love what you’ve done to the place

    Best,
    Taycamjamz


  16. I’m sorry, but you do not seem qualified to be giving advice of any kind. I’m sure you get dumped a lot because you come across as being all about yourself which men don’t really care for in a woman. You also try to hard to be smart or snarky or whatever the hell your trying to be. It’s inauthentic. You seem like the type to give advice on how to end up with an STD and a stinky snootch. You look like a stinky snootch. No offense.


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