‘My Adventures on Tinder’ by Amanda Leigh

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I should start a non-profit organization for all the single, successful, intelligent, attractive women I know. Not to toot my own horn and fall asleep on it but I’m a catch. And I’m single. I’ve been single for longer than I care to admit. By choice. I stay single because I’d rather be alone than mismatched. Being alone seems way more time and energy efficient than dealing with all the mishigas that comes along with being in a relationship with a partner who doesn’t complement you.

Every time I turn around I hear about someone I know going through a divorce or breakup with a guy who is an addict, womanizer, liar, abuser, or thinks it’s ok to cheat. So until an honest, emotionally healthy man comes along, I’m fine cuddling with my dog. The worst she’ll do is poop in my pole dancing room. I’d rather have that than the other aforementioned crap. (And yes, I pole dance for sport and I have a pole at home which makes me the perfect woman for any man reading this who’s interested in honesty, kindness, and twerking.

Dating to find a relationship is time consuming and can be frustrating. However, potentially never finding a life partner is also a scary thought. Enter Tinder. Yeah. I said Tinder. You read that right. I had no idea Tinder had the reputation of being “Grindr for straight people.” As a matter of fact, I knew nothing about Tinder at all until a business associate introduced me to it in a meeting a few months ago. I had hung up my online dating jersey after unsuccessful stints on OkCupid, eHarmony, JDate, The OnionDating, PlentyofFish, Nerve, and Match. I even tried Black Planet and considered ChristianMingle. (I’m Caucasian and Jewish.)

One Friday night in the Whole Foods parking lot I felt particularly alone and afraid. So I decided to downloaded Tinder and give it a try. Within an hour I had suitors within a 10-mile radius – lots of them – to choose from. I think Tinder is a smart idea. It takes the time, stress, and pressure out of online dating. It streamlines the process and makes it easy for people with busy lives.

I’ve gone out on over 10 dates and communicated with at least 50 guys since joining. I’ve also consumed hundreds of profiles. Only three guys have propositioned me for a one-night stand. So that’s 5% if you’re doing the math. If you’re into casual sex you can find it on Tinder for sure. But overall the guys I’m meeting are into dating not just hooking up.

There are some goofs I went out on dates with and they were certainly entertaining. None of them got a second date with me. A neurologist squeezed my arm and insinuated I need to workout more often. A basketball player asked me to travel with him and gave me two hours notice to get to LAX. He accused me of putting my puppy (who was on 3 different meds at the time) before him as an excuse not to go. (Note to men reading this who have doggie issues: My dog will be still in my bed even when you are not. So get a grip.) An advertising exec licked his steak knife at the Chateau Marmont. A 12-stepper forgot about our date entirely and stood me up. Maybe he will make an amends? Sorry, bad joke. An accountant told me he was afraid to ask me out again because he felt intimidated by me. Someone needs to grow a set. I had a great date and make out sesh with a hot photographer. He said he wanted to see me again and then disappeared. So unoriginal. I’m bored just writing it. But it wasn’t Tinder’s fault.

Guys on Tinder like to post photos of themselves with a tiger or a huge trophy. Or standing on a football field. Or behind a podium at the White House. Or with a celebrity or cartoon character (#yackattack). Or shirtless with their pants so low you can almost see dick city. Or… wait for it…on the toilet. Yeah. And it wasn’t a selfie either. I hope I don’t get carpal tunnel or a repetitive strain injury from swiping to the left.

TONIGHT: ‘BOYCRAZY RADIO’ 9PM PST – CALL ME! xx

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Tonight/Wednesday Nov. 6, 2013 9pm pst join me during ‘Boycrazy Radio’

 

Call in and ask a question, so together we can discuss and solve all your love, sex, dating, & overall life problems: 

(646) 378-0649

 

Click HERE to listen to LIVE show.

 

If you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or skype!

 

If you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message in the boycrazy voice-mailbox: (888)666-2045 & i’ll listen to + answer ur question during the show!

 

Follow me on twitter @imboycrazy  

 

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ALEXI RECOMMENDS:

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WHERE TO FIND THE COOLEST & MOST ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE IN LOS ANGELES:

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TONIGHT: ‘Boycrazy Radio’ with Jeremiah Green of Modest Mouse – Call in! xx

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Tonight/Wednesday Oct. 30, 2013 9pm pst join me during ‘Boycrazy Radio’

 

Call in and ask a question, so together we can discuss and solve all your love, sex, dating, & overall life problems: 

(646) 378-0649

 

Click HERE to listen to LIVE show.

 

If you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or skype!

 

If you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message in the boycrazy voice-mailbox: (888)666-2045 & i’ll listen to + answer ur question during the show!

 

Follow me on twitter @imboycrazy  

 

Subscribe to ‘Boycrazy Radio’ on iTunes

 

Listen to previous episodes of ‘Boycrazy Radio’ below:

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

“GBFF” a short film written & directed by 13 year old Atheena Frizzell

GBFF-Final from Augustine Frizzell on Vimeo.

the blind leading the blind (part 119):

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1. Being objectified won’t last forever… so enjoy it while you can!

2. When you eat pizza samples at the super market, it doesn’t count! It’s like it never happened!

3. One of the best things in the world is getting a knock on the door, and oh my goodness…it’s a delivery of beautiful flowers with a card attached that says “i love you. xx, your secret admirer”!!! even if you DID send them to yourself! a flower delivery’s a flower delivery! remember cher from clueless? you’re just like HER now!

4. Know for sure that you will never be satisfied with the lackluster job they do at your local car wash. Know it. Accept it. The minute your expectations of a job well done by people who could potentially be masters at what they do and actually take pride in their job are gone, your anxiety and disappointment will subside. Maybe.

5. Tinder is for losers. I know it hurts. I know you don’t want it to be true… but it’s TRUE.

6. On days when it’s a complete heat wave inferno; sometimes you just have to drink a beer by yourself, smoke pot when nobody’s looking, freak out internally – on your own, watch internet porn like you’ve never watched it before, & masturbate in the dark at 9:30 PM on a Saturday night. At least that’s what someone i know, who isn’t me, told  me they did once.

7. Please don’t lose your childlike enthusiasm. It’s magical! Don’t let it go! The minute you do, you’re dead.

8. don’t text somebody if not getting a quick reply will hurt your ego and send you down an angry emotional spiral. people are busy and can’t always get back to you quickly. it’s not personal. be calm with your text expectations. one text. no double texts. press send, then continue on with your life. don’t sit around staring at your phone waiting for text bubbles to pop up from the person you’re obsessing over. get a life, relax, be cool.

9. there is only NOW.

10. girls, don’t put your own spit on your privates. if you’re prone to yeast or bacterial infections, this will only create more yeasty, bacterial drama for your privates. be safe, take care of yourself, and use the guys spit. at least that’s what my mom told ME! And I’ve never looked back!

LET’S BE FRIENDS!

TWITTER @IMBOYCRAZY

INSTA @IMBOYCRAZY

PS: I FOUND THIS. IT INSPIRED ME. I LOVE KANYE.

TONIGHT: ‘BOYCRAZY RADIO’ 9PM PST – CALL ME! xx

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Tonight/Wednesday Oct. 23, 2013 9pm pst join me during ‘Boycrazy Radio’

 

Call in and ask a question, so together we can discuss and solve all your love, sex, dating, & overall life problems: 

(646) 378-0649

 

Click HERE to listen to LIVE show.

 

If you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or skype!

 

If you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message in the boycrazy voice-mailbox: (888)666-2045 & i’ll listen to + answer ur question during the show!

 

Follow me on twitter @imboycrazy  

 

Subscribe to ‘Boycrazy Radio’ on iTunes

 

Listen to previous episodes of ‘Boycrazy Radio’ below:

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

DATE PROOF!


you can FRIEND TODD STRAUSS-SCHULSON too!
INSTA @straussschulson
TWITTER @straussschulson
or visit his website:
ulteriorproductions.com

ALEXI’S GUIDE TO FIRST DATES:



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