it’s that time again…

what to give your girlfriend for christmas:


•something that shows you’ve been paying attention.

•stuff she needs, but can’t afford.

•stuff she wants, but can’t afford.

•spoil her.

•make her coffee every morning and bring it to her in bed.

•kiss her in PUBLIC! genuine pda is epic. who gives a fuck about what other people may or may not think?


if you hate hers, find one you’re crazy about!



or; j crew, asos, club monaco, topshopnasty gal, barneys, american apparel, everlane.




claire vivier (personally, i’d prefer a monogrammed ‘duffle petit’ bag with tall, skinny ACW initials, obvi – . but that’s just me.)


la perla, victoria’s secret, calvin klein, kiki of montparnasse, elle macpherson intimates, agent provocateur, whatever!


in REALITY, you should be getting her flowers ALL the time. a single  rose  (red or white) counts! girls never don’t LOVE getting flowers! it’s NOT a cheesy gesture. it makes girls feel spoiled and as if, even though life can be a dream dasher, there is still hope for a romanticized life to become a reality. you can even PICK them! for free! but maybe buy them so your neighbors don’t hate you. your call.


Hawaii, nyc, whistler, bora bora, Fiji, Vancouver, venice, rome, berlin, paris, ANYWHERE she’s mentioned she REALLY wants to go!

•hotel rooms


promise rings, necklaces, etc. Every time she wears it, she’ll think of YOU and her friends will be reminded that HER boyfriend is WAS better & more romantic than THEIR bonehead loser of a boyfriend.

•bath stuff:

fresh, khiels, lush

(bottom line, bath stuff – like lingerie, and anything else that makes her clean, comfortable, and feeling sexy in preparation for fucking you/making love to you, is a GREAT idea!)


•spa gift certificates

creme de la mer:

the eye concentrate, moisturizing cream

•silk (real silk) pajamas



•take her to the movies

•hold her hand



•compliment her


•a lack of complaining

•light candles

•epic sex:

kiss every inch of her, go down on her, squeeze her, grip her waist, grip her hips, squeeze her ass, slap her bum, lick her nipples, suck on her tits, stroke her hair, kiss her neck, stick your tongue in her mouth, drink her cum if you’re lucky enough to make her cum, suck on her puss, caress her, lick her, smell her, fuck her, make love to her, make eye contact, tell her how you feel about her, whisper nasty/sexy/dirty shit in her ear, whisper sweet nothings in her other ear, tell her you love her.



…and girls, if you’re lucky enough to have a boyfriend who does any of these things from my list… be kind to him. it’s not a one way street! what are you gonna do for HIM? xo

the blind leading the blind (part 122):



1. when in a relationship, remember: there’s probably somebody WAY better out there for you who you’ll never meet because you’re stuck with THAT loser.

2. dear fat, disgusting family with morbidly obese eight year olds in tow, who are all standing in my way at yogurtland, sampling all the flavors,  licking their fingers and then touching the spigots with their grimy fingers and sample cups… GET OUTTA HERE!

3. people fall into two categories: people who use the word ‘delicious’ to describe anything other than food and people who use the word ‘delicious ‘ when it’s appropriate, never!

4. turns out, Isla Fisher and Amy Adams AREN’T the same person.

5. boobytrap spelled backwards is ‘partyboob’.

6. being a recluse/shut in is way less impressive or extreme nowadays. after all, there’s no real reason to leave your house anymore anyways, what with online shopping, delivery, and everything you need being at the tips of your fingers: movies, socializing, food, clothing, etc. sorry asshole, it’s time to come up with a NEW extreme character trait that gives you an identity!

7. turns out, Amanda Peet and Jennifer Garner AREN’T the same person.

8. please, no more insta accounts for your dog! it’s embarrassing and not ok! you barely need one for yourself, let alone your dog!

9. people fall into two categories: people who refer to themselves and others as ‘foodies’ and people who aren’t gross dorks.

10. not being on facebook, twitter, and/or insta is the NEW recluse.





PPPS: Gawd i LOVE Jennifer Lawrence! she’s SUCH a LIKEABLE BADASS! xoxo

ALEXI RECOMMENDS: special Holiday Prezzy Edish – “I, CHING” by Jarrett Grode



“I, CHING” is the perfect gift for the holidays! It’s hilarious, smart, with a joke in every sentence! I’m NOT even exaggerating!

I’d forgotten how much i love reading AND laughing/LOL’ing… but this book reminded me!

“I, CHING” is a young adult novel chronicling the tumultuous tenth grade experience of Susan Ching.

Written by the uber talented hyphenate, Jarrett Grode: actor, writer, comedian!

Follow him on twitter @grodezone! I do!

And for the love of god, buy his bookI, CHING” and READ IT! I did! You won’t regret it!

happy holidays/xoxo/i love you, Alexi



Tonight/Wednesday Dec. 4, 2013 9pm pst join me during ‘Boycrazy Radio’


Call in and ask a question, so together we can discuss and solve all your love, sex, dating, & overall life problems: 

(646) 378-0649


Click HERE to listen to LIVE show.


If you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or skype!


If you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message in the boycrazy voice-mailbox: (888)666-2045 & i’ll listen to + answer ur question during the show!


Follow me on twitter @imboycrazy  


Subscribe to ‘Boycrazy Radio’ on iTunes


Listen to previous episodes of ‘Boycrazy Radio’ below:

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

the blind leading the blind (part 121):



1. watching tv when you wake up means one of the following: you have failed at life, you’re deathly ill, you’re so successful you can act like you’ve failed at life for a day and it won’t stress you out.


2. compose your email BEFORE  you fill in who you wanna send it to! this will save you lots of future embarrassment. i PROMISE you!


3. ‘no’ is the second best answer after ‘yes’. at least that’s what my agent keeps telling me.


4. there’s nothing better than the stress diet!


5. a casual acquaintance might ‘like’ a photo of yours on Facebook, but a TRUE friend likes your photo on Instagram, Facebook, tumbler, AND Twitter.


6. beautiful young girls in LA: beware of creepy, letchy,  lurker dudes who prey upon the young & naive. Typically these men linger during the day at LA hotspots such as: Erewhon, m cafe, urth cafe on Melrose, and whole foods on Santa Monica & Fairfax. These are their chosen spots because they draw in young, naive girls who have just moved to town, are aspiring model/actress’s (mattress’s), who are healthy, possibly vegan, and above all else – weight & image conscious. Good luck.


7. never vent to your boyfriend’s friends about your boyfriend. no matter how close you think you are to them, they are HIS friends FIRST!


8. when in need of a gentle exfollient, but you’ve run out of your supply, try simple white sugar. not powdered, not sugar in the raw, not cubed… just plain old, normal packet white sugar.


9. when somebody goes over to your house and uses your bathroom, before you use your bathroom after they leave, use Lysol wipes to disinfect the toilet seat and the toilet. Also, throw the towels they used in the hamper before you even think about using them. And it wouldn’t hurt to change the head of your toothbrush or throw away your toothbrush in general. You can never be too safe, friends or not. #trustnoone


10. dear target, could you please start ripping off La Perla instead of Victoria’s Secret? That would really help out my life!

the blind leading the blind (part 120):

1. every time you make-out and or sex a dude, you take the chance of him not calling you after…ever again. can you live with that?

2. it’s one thing to be witty and clever and another to be sarcastic! sarcasm is unresolved rage and is ALWAYS at the expense of someone else.

3. start referring to ALL eating as BINGE eating. it’s hilarious, even if only to you, and will always make you feel like you’re eating way less.

4. stop being so much braver behind the protection of a text or a computer screen and not being able to live up to it in real life. it’s embarrassing.

5. you know you’re cold is pretty severe when you can’t even bring yourself to masturbate.

6. i’m sorry, did you just ask me if you should hide your ugg boots? yes, you should… in the garbage.

7. dear monster face, it’s called retin a. Look into it.

8. dudes: stop sending vague texts to girls you like. Man up, be brave and direct and ask her out specifically! for example: “what are you doing on Thursday? we should hang out.” girls love this! trust me! do it!

9. asking someone to follow you be it on twitter, insta, or facebook doesn’t count. If they do, it’s a cheapened follow.

10. girls: always realize – guys are never as complex or thinking as much as we (girls) are about the minute details of the minutia in our relationship.

Alexi in Bed with Sophia Amoruso – CEO of NASTYGAL.COM

‘My Adventures on Tinder’ by Amanda Leigh



I should start a non-profit organization for all the single, successful, intelligent, attractive women I know. Not to toot my own horn and fall asleep on it but I’m a catch. And I’m single. I’ve been single for longer than I care to admit. By choice. I stay single because I’d rather be alone than mismatched. Being alone seems way more time and energy efficient than dealing with all the mishigas that comes along with being in a relationship with a partner who doesn’t complement you.

Every time I turn around I hear about someone I know going through a divorce or breakup with a guy who is an addict, womanizer, liar, abuser, or thinks it’s ok to cheat. So until an honest, emotionally healthy man comes along, I’m fine cuddling with my dog. The worst she’ll do is poop in my pole dancing room. I’d rather have that than the other aforementioned crap. (And yes, I pole dance for sport and I have a pole at home which makes me the perfect woman for any man reading this who’s interested in honesty, kindness, and twerking.

Dating to find a relationship is time consuming and can be frustrating. However, potentially never finding a life partner is also a scary thought. Enter Tinder. Yeah. I said Tinder. You read that right. I had no idea Tinder had the reputation of being “Grindr for straight people.” As a matter of fact, I knew nothing about Tinder at all until a business associate introduced me to it in a meeting a few months ago. I had hung up my online dating jersey after unsuccessful stints on OkCupid, eHarmony, JDate, The OnionDating, PlentyofFish, Nerve, and Match. I even tried Black Planet and considered ChristianMingle. (I’m Caucasian and Jewish.)

One Friday night in the Whole Foods parking lot I felt particularly alone and afraid. So I decided to downloaded Tinder and give it a try. Within an hour I had suitors within a 10-mile radius – lots of them – to choose from. I think Tinder is a smart idea. It takes the time, stress, and pressure out of online dating. It streamlines the process and makes it easy for people with busy lives.

I’ve gone out on over 10 dates and communicated with at least 50 guys since joining. I’ve also consumed hundreds of profiles. Only three guys have propositioned me for a one-night stand. So that’s 5% if you’re doing the math. If you’re into casual sex you can find it on Tinder for sure. But overall the guys I’m meeting are into dating not just hooking up.

There are some goofs I went out on dates with and they were certainly entertaining. None of them got a second date with me. A neurologist squeezed my arm and insinuated I need to workout more often. A basketball player asked me to travel with him and gave me two hours notice to get to LAX. He accused me of putting my puppy (who was on 3 different meds at the time) before him as an excuse not to go. (Note to men reading this who have doggie issues: My dog will be still in my bed even when you are not. So get a grip.) An advertising exec licked his steak knife at the Chateau Marmont. A 12-stepper forgot about our date entirely and stood me up. Maybe he will make an amends? Sorry, bad joke. An accountant told me he was afraid to ask me out again because he felt intimidated by me. Someone needs to grow a set. I had a great date and make out sesh with a hot photographer. He said he wanted to see me again and then disappeared. So unoriginal. I’m bored just writing it. But it wasn’t Tinder’s fault.

Guys on Tinder like to post photos of themselves with a tiger or a huge trophy. Or standing on a football field. Or behind a podium at the White House. Or with a celebrity or cartoon character (#yackattack). Or shirtless with their pants so low you can almost see dick city. Or… wait for it…on the toilet. Yeah. And it wasn’t a selfie either. I hope I don’t get carpal tunnel or a repetitive strain injury from swiping to the left.



Tonight/Wednesday Nov. 6, 2013 9pm pst join me during ‘Boycrazy Radio’


Call in and ask a question, so together we can discuss and solve all your love, sex, dating, & overall life problems: 

(646) 378-0649


Click HERE to listen to LIVE show.


If you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or skype!


If you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message in the boycrazy voice-mailbox: (888)666-2045 & i’ll listen to + answer ur question during the show!


Follow me on twitter @imboycrazy  


Subscribe to ‘Boycrazy Radio’ on iTunes


Listen to previous episodes of ‘Boycrazy Radio’ below:

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

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