1. there’s nothing worse than masturbating as a full-grown adult… and then your mom calls!
2. you don’t always have to LOVE what your friends are making/doing with their lives, but you can still be proud of them for doing what they love and putting themselves out there. UNLESS what they make or do is TOTAL shit/cringe-worthy. in THAT case, it’s time to reevaluate your friendships and who you’re surrounding yourself with.
3. if you’re serious about your new love/relationship, DON’T become friends on facebook! #trustme
4. it’s never a good sign when you check your phone the next morning and the guy you met at the bar only programmed 6 of the 7 digits of his number into your phone. #youvebeenduped
5. let’s bring letters back! #romance #gettingmailisfun
6. hey, how about you make an effort and try to be interesting. just try. even just talking might help!
7. um, what do you order when you go to nature-well on sunset in silverlake? a kale and coconut smoothie you bonehead!
8. a guy who won’t let you touch your clit while you’re having sex with him should be broken up with immediately. this is an instant red flag that alerts you to his being an insecure, inexperienced, misogynist who you should definitely NOT be fucking.
9. not having expectations and letting people/life surprise you is a much more fulfilling way to live and leads to a happier, lighter, more carefree existence. but this is a very hard thing to do.
10. guys: if a girl suggests getting saran wrap if you don’t have a condom, assume she’s joking; because if she’s serious, she’s crazy – and if she’s joking, and you believe her, you’ll look like an idiot.