1. being mean to your mom in public is totally NOT COOL. keep that shizz behind closed doors where it belongs.
2. always use a soft toothbrush. i mean, don’t you like yourself? Geeze!
3. only date people you look up to, who inspire you, who intimidate you, who make you nervous, who you want to be good for. it will make you BETTER!
4. when trail mix is good, it’s REALLY good. but when you get DUSTY trail mix. ugh! that shit is the worst!
5. will somebody please tell über car drivers to figure out how to fucking get to where I’m asking them to take me on their own gps without asking me how to get there every step of the way?! they’re not even good-looking enough to be THAT dumb!
6. if you ever start doubting there’s a god, stop where you are and remember: there’s a starbux RIGHT next to Larchmont beauty center. um, things like that don’t just happen.
7. there are many reasons why it’s not cool to have affairs with married men , but here’s one of my favorites: you can sex or make out with anyone, anytime. but what’s REALLY sexy is possibility and a future with someone. and not knowing but dreaming and finding out where a new romance could go/take you. but with a married guy… there is no possibility, because all you’re reduced to is a secret.
8. next time you see a guy picking his nose in his car, make eye contact with him and hold it. i want him to see you seeing him so he knows it’s not ok.
9. there’s nothing worse than getting a text from someone and not being able to follow-up right away and then getting a SECOND text from them that’s all passive aggressive saying something along the lines of ‘well, i hope we’re still friends.’ RELAX everybody. haven’t you ever heard of having a life or DRIVING? we can’t be connected all the time, all day long. cut it out! double texting/passive aggressive texts will ensure NEVER getting a response back… even when the person is NO longer driving or busy. get it?
10. when visiting someones house, try your hardest NOT to use their bathroom. PLEASE! it only makes you appear weak and disgusting.
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