I used to be so grateful when a guy liked me. So thankful he had put his attention on me. Until one day, I grew up and became a bit more discerning. I realized that I have a say in who I let into my life. That they should be so lucky to be inside me and a part of my world. Just because they were skinny or stylish or just, well, a dude- didn’t mean they were the be all, end all. just because they were men, and spending time with me, didn’t mean they were gods and that i had to be appreciative of the fact that they chose me. me! i don’t know exactly WHEN i realized that I’m just as important as i thought they were, but I’m so happy that day came! it’s changed me forever and for that i am grateful! Unfortunately, I really love make outs- so I still made out a ton after i had this epiphany! But at least it was much more thought out and i was the one doing the choosing.
1. in case you don’t know: the whole POINT of instagram isn’t to connect and share in an honest way with people. no! not at all! it’s to give the impression that you’re living a fun, super exciting, upbeat lifestyle and to make other people feel bad about themselves cuz you’re clearly BETTER & winning at life – even though you’re ACTUALLY probably secretly miserable and on the verge of killing yourself. just wanted to make that clear. now continue instagramming.
2. instead of using a tote bag, just carry your stuff around in a victoria’s secret, agent provocateur, or la perla shopping bag- depending on how high brow you are. although i truly feel that a victoria’s secret bag is the better choice because it’s more universal. it’s the McDonald’s of lingerie and will therefore make men objectify you much quicker because they will immediately identify the brand, start to wonder what’s in your bag & imagine you in a bra and undies. you’re welcome!
3. helvetica bold is so classic and simple. i really don’t see it going out of style. I just don’t.
4. hair serum? should you use it? i mean, if you have it… why wouldn’t you?!
5. please be mindful of gossiping. it actually has way more of a negative power than you know. you may think you’re ‘just venting’ or that you want to be entertaining, and it’s all you have to share… but gossiping about other people’s personal life matters not only affects/breaks the trust and respect between you and the persons whose personal life you’re sharing… but it also puts all that gossipy poison into the mind of someone else. someone else who may not even want to carry that stressful weight. so mind your mouth and don’t fucking gossip. that way you don’t have to worry the next day about whether or not people are mad at you/if the person you gossiped about found out and is pissed. NOT gossiping will make people feel safe with you. they’ll feel like you’re trustworthy, because you’re able to keep secrets. AND it will keep others from breaking out in hives from the emotional weight and stress you’ve dumped on them.
6. only have sex with guys in hotel rooms! personally, I’m gonna take my own advice on this because I’m SO sick of having to take down my dream catcher, vision board, and fashion mag collages that will almost definitely scare away any good guy!
7. please, more house parties!
8. friends don’t let friends get tubby. unless you’re morbidly obese. in which case, gettin ‘tubby’ is a step in the right direction. good for you tubster!
9. people fall into two categories: those who drive pt cruisers and those who have a kernel of self-awareness. #BabyBoot #MiniHearse #BadLook #SorryMom
10. please, no costume parties unless its Halloween!
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