things to keep you from killing yourself:

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if you’re already at such a low point emotionally that you want to take your own life, you’re actually in an ideal position. you’re so low, you have nothing to lose. and because of that, now is the time you should most definitely NOT KILL YOURSELF. let me explain:

yes, you feel hopeless and in pain; but feeling the way you feel resets you, it puts you at ground zero. now you can start over from a place of ‘i don’t give a fuck’ (and that’s a very powerful place to be)  ‘…cuz i can’t get any lower, but i’ll be damned if i’m gonna let everyone else win by being stronger than me and going on, while I take my own life and then am not even able to hover over my own funeral like you imagine you’ll be able to and inevitably witness the world just keep on going  before my dead body’s even cold – after a few fb/instagram likes regarding my death and sobs that will be forgotten in less than a week.’ no fucking way. this mood is a blessing. let it serve you and rebirth you and make you stronger – ALIVE and stronger.

but first things first, in order to pull yourself out of the deep vortex that is your mood, you must grab a life raft before you get sucked into making an irreversible decision. it’s now your job to do everything in your power to bring yourself immediate happiness (except kill, harm, or put others/yourself in danger). now is the time to eat pizza without worrying about what it might do to your figure (after all, a moment ago, you were gonna off yourself – so why worry about your figure?), go shopping, get your hair dramatically altered, be brave while not giving a fuck what anyone may or may not think of you. Sing in public, write, sky dive, walk, get drunk (but uber it), wear lipstick you’ve always been too afraid to wear, write your dad or mom or ex or whoever a disarmingly honest letter saying all the things you’ve always wanted to say.

but don’t you dare kill yourself!

FUCK everyone else. FUCK everything. Just get a slice of pizza, and take a moment to watch the world. you need not say or do anything. just BE. that’s enough. truly. your presence is affecting someone in a positive way without you even realizing it. i swear to god. even if you don’t believe in god. i swear. people notice you, even if you feel invisible. you make an impact, a ripple, a difference. so just take a moment, be quiet, and breathe. be kind to yourself. stop the constant chatter in your head, WITHOUT STICKING A GUN IN YOUR MOUTH. stop worrying. everything is ok, really. it will be. it’s just how you consciously decide to react to life. everything is a choice. so choose to live cooler, and happier, and less frantic, and bogged down, and stressed. it’s not all so serious. but hang in there to find that out and experience all the fun stuff you might not see right now, but i promise is around the corner.

write a list of what you like about yourself. it’s also ok to think you’re beautiful, even though for some reason we live in a culture where we think we’re supposed to brush off compliments and only say bad things about ourselves: ‘we’re ugly, dumb, weird, fat, imperfect, blah blah blah.’ fuck all that. what’s ‘perfect’? you’re beautiful. you’re allowed to exist. you’re allowed to like yourself. it’s not conceited. it’s just the truth. fuck sarcasm. be nice. i wish everyone would just be nice. people are nice. but it starts with you. be nice to yourself.

write a list of all the things you’ve been too terrified and intimidated to try/see/do because you don’t think you’re capable. you are. and even if you aren’t, who cares? it’s not worth killing yourself over. write a list of places you want to travel to. write a list of all the boys/girls you have crushes on. write letters to people you hate for whatever reason and then burn those letters and let it go. start seeing a GOOD therapist who you feel you GEL with and is helpful and makes you feel safe and understood. start a blawg, don’t start a blawg, take photos, volunteer for kids and people less fortunate than you- because I promise you, they exist. and they’re still among the living; fighting for every breath and grateful for it. go on long walks, it’ll make your mood better. maybe go on an anti-depressant. maybe don’t. maybe cut out the bad toxic people in your ife, even if they come in the form of your family. most likely, they do. stop doing drugs and drinking, the come downs are horrible and are probably the reason you feel suicidal right now.

have protected sex, a lot. let a guy lick your pussy for a long time. don’t ask him to stop because you assume he doesn’t like it. that’s his problem. let him stop cuz he decides to stop. and if he stops sooner than you’d like him to, push his head back down there. learn how to give the best blow job in the world. masturbate. listen to audiobooks read by the author. it really makes a difference when the audiobook is read by the author. masturbate WHILE listening to an audiobook read by the author. take an epsom salt bath. go to the beach, it’s like one HUGE epsom salt bath! realize that even if you lost your home and all your possessions, you’d be ok. you could get a job at mcdonald’s, target, or starbux (i’m sorry these places come to mind when i’m describing hitting rock bottom.) be nice to people just cuz. get a job at urban o, or american ap – wherever the bustling street is that has a melrose vibe in the city you live in. see bands play. go on dates. watch all the mindless shows on e and bravo; it’s like drinking 3 martini’s and being clobbered over the head with a boot- which just might shake you out of this funk. get a kitten or a puppy; as long as it’s not to eat and you treat it lovingly. have faith that love is real and you WILL meet the next great love of your life. be excited about getting older – it means you survived.

i wrote this because when i was a teenager i was really moody. i did drugs (speed), tried to kill myself, and ended up in a coma for 2 weeks. i’m so fucking thankful i woke up. i’m so fucking thankful i lived. but even all these years later, even though i don’t do drugs anymore- and for the most part, am a happy person, i still get sad/moody/and low sometimes. and it’s during those times i have to actively remind myself why living is awesome and that there’s no fucking reason to hurt myself ever again, and that there’s no fucking reason to take my (temporary) mood so far.

lately i’ve been reading about a lot of people who have taken their own lives. strangers. and when i realize how sad and affected i feel about these people i’ve never even met… it makes me think about how their families and friends and boyfriends or girlfriends or husbands or wives must feel. we’re all connected. we’re not alone. we all get sad, we all feel hopeless and helpless sometimes… but be strong. you matter too much to hurt yourself. even if you don’t know it, you do.

here’s a helpful quote i found via @_NealeDWalsch on twitter: “What a joy this life is, with all its sadness and pain, its tests and its obstacles. What a joy to be alive and experiencing all of it.”

call me any wed at 9pm pst during ‘boycrazy radio’ if you need a pep talk or a friend (646) 378-0649 / i’ll serve as a big sister who listens, distracts you, and offers advice.

if you wanna leave your own inspiring reasons for choosing to live, or want to share a personal story to help someone in turmoil please do so in the comment section.

Love, Alexi

Tyler The Creator:

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i am your dating expert – ONLINE DATING PROFILES:

the blind leading the blind (part 136):

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1. sometimes the most important thing is knowing who NOT to take advice from.

 

2. when you’re stressing out cuz your latest crush or object of your affection is not texting you, REMEMBER, there are a SLEW of other men who also have your phone number who are also not texting you.

 

3. when dating someone new, talk about babies, marriage, your expectation of him sending you flowers / buying you presents / wanting to meet his family & vice versa / and any and all of your expectations of him in general – not because you mean any of those things, but because it’s fun to torture men and see how much you can throw at them to see if they’ll stay. he won’t.

 

4. you know how it seems like you are so much more attractive when you’re in a relationship? it’s cuz you feel secure and spoken for and the opposite of desperate. one of the most important things after a breakup is to hold on to the confidence and sense of security you had while you were in the relationship and carry it in to your single life. this makes you much more attractive and grounded in yourself.

 

5. if you’re feeling low about living in a tiny apt, start referring to it as your ‘pied à terre’. it’s so much more chic and an instant spirit lifter!

 

6. don’t worry! you can always just secretly get pregnant!

 

7. don’t feel guilty about it. it’s completely natural and normal… and i feel the same way. I know I shouldn’t be, I KNOW I shouldn’t be, but I’m SO attracted 2 men in range rovers!

 

8. “love, when it hits us for real, has a half-life of forever.” -junot diaz

 

9. if you sit in front of your laptop with photo booth open, you’re never really alone.

 

10. girls, be careful with your drinking. learn from those who have made mistakes before you, so you can avoid the same mistakes. here’s one specific tip: don’t try to finish your drink as quickly as possible when you’re leaving a party/bar. it can really send you over the edge. here’s why: girls are different from men. our body’s don’t metabolize alcohol the same way. we’re way more delicate. and drinking alcohol quickly is very dangerous; it spikes your blood alcohol level rapidly and can cause you to black out or have fuzzy patches/amnesia the next day. even if you’re drinking no more than usual. even if it’s only 2-3 drinks (which is my norm because i usually drink on a full stomach and I’m 5’11, but that’s just me). how much you’ve eaten, how tall you are, how much you weigh, and how quickly you drink can REALLY affect you. so drink slow, have water after each drink, make sure you’re drinking on a full stomach, and be careful. you don’t want to suffer from a next day shame spiral of what you said, did, or how you came across. but more importantly, you don’t want to find yourself in a cosby-esque situation, or hurting yourself or someone else. so be careful and be mindful. but if you do have a bad night and it’s out of the norm and you are lucky enough to wake up the next day safe and sound (after having taken an uber), be thankful that all you’re worried about is potentially having said dumb things loudly. at least you’re alive! instead, use this as an opportunity to reevaluate how you take precautions to protect yourself from something like this happening in the future. take a break from drinking for a bit. but at the same time, don’t shame / guilt yourself too hard. after all, you’re only human and life happens. just be safe and use this life experiences to guide you and teach you about what you do and don’t want for yourself.

a message for the beautiful & young (but the ugly, lazy, idle & aimless could benefit from watching this too)

HOW TO EAT PUSSY (ADVICE FROM A LESBIAN) via Raw Attraction Magazine / i, Alexi Wasser, did NOT write this – but i AGREE with it 100%

Step Two 

I’d then begin to kiss slowly down her body, along her waistline, and with one hand I would pull her trousers down ever so slightly and run my tongue along where her waistline was. This is usually where you take off her trousers! Keep her pants on for now… let her get comfortable. Kiss along the V where her pants meet her thighs and guessing whereabouts her clit is make an O shape with your mouth, place it over that area and give one hot breath over her panties.

 

Step Three

Tease her a little, kiss away from her lady parts down her legs and make your way back up again, do this down both legs, making sure you don’t touch her pussy. A lot of women tend to feel a bit exposed if you take her pants off straight away so when you finishing kissing up her thighs, move her panties slightly to the side and kiss around her pussy but not going for the prize just yet.

 

Step Four

When you feel her starting to arch her back, (she’s getting a little restless for you), with one strong tongue stroke lick from her vagina opening (NOT HER ARSEHOLE) upwards. When you feel a slight bump, just above the opening, (about the size of a pea) that’s her clit, don’t let go of it. (If you’re having some trouble finding it run a finger down her pussy and see if you can feel it if she’s horny you should have no trouble).

 

Step Five

Once you find her clit, start with slow, harder strokes and speed it up gradually. If you find she’s moving herself so your tongue is touching a different area that may mean you aren’t on the clit if all else fails, don’t be embarrassed ask if it’s the right spot, she’ll show you where to be! Increase your speed with your tongue; think vibrator, but listen to her body, pay attention, is she grinding faster and into you? That means press your tongue harder on her clit and flick faster. Or is she slowly grinding? Slow it down a little maybe flick a little lighter, her clit may be sensitive.

 

Step Six

When she’s nice and wet, and you can tell she’s enjoying in its always good to tell a girl how good her pussy tastes…. chicks worry about that stuff… God knows why. Under no circumstances do the alphabet with your tongue! Some girls like if you twirl your tongue in circles around their clit, but in all honestly, if you’re flicking your tongue in the right spot you really don’t need loads of variation, it actually becomes quite distracting and frustrating if every time they are getting close you change what you are doing…

 

Step Seven

Use your fingers. Now she’s loving your tongue, and she’s soaking wet… Look up into her eyes and then slide one finger slowly into her pussy. Then get straight back to that clit, most girls come quickest from combined clit stimulation and putting your finger/fingers depending how wet she is inside her, making a come hither motion with your fingers on her vagina wall and pressing harder or lighter depending again how she is moving. It’s actually always a good idea at this point to ask the girl how she wants it, to which she’ll reply ‘fast and hard’ or ‘more fucking’ to which you can finger fuck her harder but keep this pace up with how fast you are licking her clit. I.e. if you are fucking her fast, lick her clit fast.

There’s no designated process to all this, it’s down to the girl, but this is my general (and professional lesbian) process. Pay attention to how she’s moving her body into you and every so often don’t be afraid to ask questions. Another tip of mine is not too much tongue; use just the end of your tongue. I find otherwise – (sorry to be so explicit) – but your saliva gets everywhere and she can feel spit dripping down her butt crack – not a great feeling!

 

What should we be thinking whilst we eat pussy?

You should be thinking about how much you love it and how hot she is! Sometimes your mind can’t help but drift. If you can’t stay focused on her try thinking about things that turn you on to keep up sexual momentum. When you’re thinking of errands you need to run or a joke you heard earlier it shows in your oral. This is a massive turn off for the girl! Keep focused on the moment and the task in hand.

 

For the women reading this, how should she communicate what she wants in order to get it…

Saying things such as ‘no I don’t like that’ is the wrong way to go! If you don’t like something-don’t react or give a sexy order like ‘uh more tongue’ if they re doing something good, lots of positive affirmation ‘you’re so good at this’ or ‘that feels so good keep doing that’. The worst thing you can do is say ‘you aren’t doing it right’ so de moralizing.

 

The Pussy Eating Summary

 

  • Keep this rough plan in your head but next time you have the chance to eat pussy don’t be thinking, ‘Raw Attraction Magazine told me this’ – focus on eating for your own pleasure!
  • If you are not sure what she likes then ask, ‘How do you like be eaten?” Or something similar. There is no shame in asking.
  • Women. Give your man the opportunity to ask and use positive language when he’s doing something right. Make sure this is an amazing experience that he’s going to enjoy again and again.
  • Don’t do the alphabet with your tongue!

Boycrazy Radio with guest, actress Shannyn Sossamon

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