READER SUBMISSION: a boy wants to know…

Hey Alexi,

I’ve been a big time fan of your blog, blind leading the blind being my favorite series. Anyway, this post is a somewhat personal make it yours monday, or friday, or whatever. So this will be a hypothetical situation that happened to me with some details changed, but the general gist is the same:
So, say I meet this girl, we go out a couple of times and I find I REALLY like her. As in, I can see a future with her; long-term relationship, marriage, whatever you define a future as. Anyway, she tells me that she likes me too, but she doesn’t know if she is ready for a relationship. I say I want to know how she feels and she says ‘i still doesn’t know, I don’t think I want a relationship.’ So things end, but I still really like her.
At what point does waiting around in case she changes her mind become pathetic/desperation versus romantic and proof that you really want to be with her? How long should I wait if at all? I really like her and I don’t know what to do.

Thanks

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ [email protected]

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU

the blind leading the blind (part 76):

1. dudes! When sexxxting, or EVER, never refer to a girls pussy/privates/vagina or cunt as her ‘pussy hole’! It’s sooo gross! ‘Pussy’ will suffice! The word ‘pussy’ INCLUDES the hole!

2. weight gain is not allowed in a relationship. When you enter into a relationship, you should only get better or at LEAST stay at the shitty point you entered it in. This weight gain rule goes for men AND women. Men, you say you don’t like ‘fatties’. Well fuck you. Neither do we. So drink a little less beer and stop it with all the crap food… And see how many more blow jobs you get standing up now that your tummy’s not resting on your (nearly ex) girlfriends head! You’re welcome. Both of you should keep each other in check! Her thighs get big, she has a muffin top, this affects how attracted you are to her. He has a spare tire, he crushes you when he’s on top of you, you can’t find his dick cuz it’s engulfed in fat and he’s sweating all over you… That affects you! It’s unattractive! It just is. So eat a little less, steam, walk, stop with the alcohol, don’t eat chips/fast food/soda/too much bread, pasta,rice, and take care of your fucking body. IT MATTERS!

PS: This does not include pregnancy, unless it’s an accidental pregnancy that the boy doesn’t want but the girl insists on having. in which case, this weight gain will be a relationship ruiner as well.

3. super market baggers: I know your job isn’t ideal, but isn’t it a cool idea to excel at what you do? Here’s a tip: weight distribution between bags is key! and when bagging individual bags, always remember: heaviest stuff on the bottom, lightest stuff on top is key. sounds SO SIMPLE! but you’d be surprised!

4. enough with the short in the front, long in the back dresses/skirts. they suck! and that makes YOU suck!

5. don’t wear lots of heavy cologne/perfume. One spritz and you’re done.

6. it’s all about elle Macpherson intimates!

7. for those of you new to los Angeles, and even for those of you who aren’t in the know: coffee houses such as ‘stir crazy’ and ‘the bourgeois pig’ are loser epicenters. don’t get caught where you don’t think you belong.

8. every time you do something weird or gross, or ANYTHING for that matter, in front of your computer… someone is watching you through the video camera. I mean, maybe. but probably. Just be careful. you’ve been warned.

9. people can think they know everything about you… But keep some stuff to yourself, ok? That’s what I do. er, i mean… that’s what my therapist tells me to do.

10. don’t use the term ’horns’ or ‘horny’. both are SUCH a clitoral hard-off!

ps:

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @IMBOYCRAZY

boycrazy christmas wish list:

Listen, I really don’t ask for a lot. I write this blog, make silly videos giving my over the top opinions on stuff, write way too revealing stories about my thoughts/feelings/sexual experiences/relationships, i interview cute boys, write lists called ‘the blind leading the blind’, and do a weekly call in advice show called ‘Boycrazy Radio’… so ALL i’m saying is: if by any chance you feel like you’d like to get ME something for Christmas or the new year, then by ALL means… follow your gut! i love you a ton! and THIS would the PERFECT opportunity to show me how much you love me too! you can even chip in with like 12 friends or whatevs. no pressure. xoxo

ALEXI WASSER’S 2011 CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:

•Large tortoise-shell wayfarers ray bans

•a bull horn

•The ORIGINAL beverly hills 90210 series on dvd

•Massage at Bahn Sabai (epic massage place on Hillhurst in Los Feliz, CA)

•Burberry ‘manston’ trench size 6 US trench – below the knee

•i-phone 5

•Creme de la mer eye cream

•Jumbo black classic Chanel bag with GOLD hardware

•Black Balenciaga ’vellow’ bag

•Gift cards for Lingerie:

Victoria’s Secret

la perla

kiki of Montparnasse

cosabella

agent provocateur 

•Gift cards for other stuff that makes me happy:

J Crew

Urban Outfitters

Club Monaco

Madewell

barney’s

Fresh

Target

M cafe

SEND PREZZIES TO:

alexi wasser

po box 480876

LA CA 90048

or

email me: [email protected]

or

just follow me on twitter @imboycrazy 

TONIGHT: ‘BOYCRAZY RADIO!’

CALL ME TONIGHT…

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 14, 2011

DURING BOYCRAZY RADIO

9PM PST/12AM EST

JUST CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

DIAL:

1(646) 378-0649

OR CALL TOLL FREE:

1(877) 569-3588

ps: if you’re in another country,

you can call me using gmail or skype!

pps: if you can’t call during the show,

leave me a message on my NEW toll free

‘boycrazy voice-mailbox’ 1(888)666-2045

we’ll bro out, role play,

and discuss ALL your love, sex, dating,

and life dilemmas!

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

reader submission: The Man We Want; The Man We Shouldn’t Want

You lay there with your legs intertwined with his. You roll to your side, reaching for something in particular, but you can no longer remember what it was you were reaching for. Your hands grasp for nothing. You arm falls lazily to the side of the bed. You lay on your side, and unlike the ones before him, he doesn’t reach for you. You like it that way. You hate the feeling of a heavy arm on your shoulder. The heat from his skin burns your back.

He hands you a cigarette and a glass of water, pushes the stray strands of hair away from your face. His lips warm, they kiss you close to your ear lobe. It’s always perfect. He knows your secrets, the ones you’ve yet to tell him. He excuses himself and climbs out. He pulls you up onto the pillow. He pulls you slowly, delicately. And then he walks out and you watch him leave.

You roll back onto your side, check the time and stare at the wall. He returns with another glass of water. He climbs back into bed. He pulls you closer by your legs. You wrap your legs around him and he holds you too close. You realize this is too close but you say nothing. This time it will be different.

You are intoxicated by him. His lips, his eyes. The way he teases you, twirls your hair around his finger. His boyish charm, his juvenile sense of humour. The way he makes you wait for hours, days. He owes no explanation to you and you command none. He will call and you will crawl back into bed with him. He will leave you without pictures, songs, borrowed t-shirts and other memorabilia that lovers exchange. He is everything you want, but he is not what you should want.

He is cold, unknowingly manipulative. Your hands fit perfectly into his. He closes his eyes for a moment and you kiss him gently. You know that this time will be different. But it never is. You compare him to the beautiful men in lovely black and white movies. Tall, stoic. Workaholics, alcoholics with no soul but with eyes full of too much soul, and all it takes is an honest conversation. They become changed men. Men capable of holding and feeling. They run away with you to Paris. You peruse the streets of Rome with him. He is there at night and you can hear him breathing. The only two stars of your wonderful movie, in black and white, with no blurring grey areas.

Or you lay in bed alone, promising to never love the man you shouldn’t want. But you were never very good at keeping promises.

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ [email protected]

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU

tonight: ‘boycrazy radio’!


CALL ME TONIGHT…

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 7, 2011

DURING BOYCRAZY RADIO

9PM PST/12AM EST

JUST CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

DIAL:

1(646) 378-0649

OR CALL TOLL FREE:

1(877) 569-3588

ps: if you’re in another country,

you can call me using gmail or skype!

pps: if you can’t call during the show,

leave me a message on my NEW toll free

‘boycrazy voice-mailbox’ 1(888)666-2045

we’ll bro out, role play,

and discuss ALL your love, sex, dating,

and life dilemmas!

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

put your puss away!

A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not “Crazy” – by Yashar Ali

You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!

Sound familiar?

If you’re a woman, it probably does.

Read the rest of this post >>>

the blind leading the blind (part 75):

1. start saying ‘figuratively’ instead of ‘literally’… SINCE THAT’S WHAT YOU ACTUALLY MEAN!

2. the question is this: is a relationship worth more than total freedom?

3. sometimes spending the night at your boyfriend’s house is the equivalent of going on holiday… or at least a trip to the spa!

4. if a friend says ‘will you give me a ride to the airport?’ the correct response is ‘no. but I’ll give you money to take a cab.’

5. do I really have to tell you how I feel about tribal tattoos?

6. never EVER use the word ‘event’ when referring to something you went to the night before, are going to, or attended in general. it will ONLY make you sound like someone a worth-while person doesn’t want to know.

7. never EVER cut your own bangs… unless you’re really good at it. in which case… cut mine?

8. people! don’t cross diagonally on a horizontal cross walk! It slows everything down! stay within the lines you fucking selfish assholes! you make it super confusing for cars to make right turns! how about everyone STARTS being a LITTLE BIT MORE SELF AWARE! YEAH! ALL. MOTHERFUCKIN’. CAPS.

9. dudes (and lesbians), get rid of your Justin Bieber floppy mop tops! Even Justin Bieber got rid of the Justin Bieber!

10. none of my business, but I’D say: wait until she loves you before you show off your break dancing skills.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @IMBOYCRAZY 

tonight: call into ‘boycrazy radio!’

CALL ME TONIGHT…

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 30, 2011

DURING BOYCRAZY RADIO

9PM PST/12AM EST

JUST CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

DIAL:

1(646) 378-0649

OR CALL TOLL FREE:

1(877) 569-3588

ps: if you’re in another country,

you can call me using gmail or skype!

pps: if you can’t call during the show,

leave me a message on my NEW toll free

‘boycrazy voice-mailbox’ 1(888)666-2045

we’ll bro out, role play,

and discuss ALL your love, sex, dating,

and life dilemmas!

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio