my interview w/ Logan Lerman for Oyster Magazine…

For Oyster issue #95 Alexi Wasser caught up with heartthrob Logan Lerman (swoon) and touched on some very interesting topics including one night stands, older women and the ‘man pill’. If only he’d shown us his stomach too…

Not all that long ago, in a house nestled in the Hollywood Hills, I did something that will make me the envy of tweenage girls all over the world: I interviewed 19-year-old actor Logan Lerman (of Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief and The Three Musketeers). We discussed everything from girls, to dating, to love, to sex. Yes, I’m well aware that all of these topics come under the same umbrella, but these are the things I’d want to read about in an interview with a cute actor I had a crush on!

Alexi Wasser: So, I’m going to ask you a lot of questions, some of which are completely inappropriate and none of my business. Feel free to say “pass” when you feel uncomfortable and don’t want to answer. OK?
Logan Lerman: OK.

Is Logan Lerman your real name or a stage name?
It’s my real name. Everyone in my family has the initials LL.

Like the Kardashians with KK. What’s the craziest fan story you have?
I had someone who kept showing up at a hotel and slipping notes under my door, along with pictures they drew of me.

Do you have Google Alerts?
No. Do people do that? I can just read what everyone says about me online? Well, I mean, that would be uncomfortable; that would just make me feel like a complete asshole.

Robert Pattinson has admitted to having Google Alerts in an interview…
Really? Has he?

He has. Are you on Facebook or Twitter?
I have a personal Facebook, but I’m not on Twitter.

As a male actor, do you suffer from body dysmorphia? Do you feel pressure to have a six-pack/eight-pack?
I don’t.

Do you have a six-pack? Can I see your stomach?
What? No! I don’t work out [laughs]. Next question.

Are you single?
I guess I’ll pass on that too.

What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? Eight months?
No, longer — two years.

What is a first date with you like? How do you woo a girl?
I haven’t been on many dates. I’ve had a few girlfriends, and those dates went well. I’ve never had, like, the ‘ideal date’, whatever that is.

Do you love the Lakers? Have you sat courtside yet? Have you ever taken a girl on a date to a Lakers game?
I like the Lakers. They’re my team, but I’m not a fan of basketball. I don’t really know much about basketball. I did sit courtside about seven years ago — not on a date, with my brother. He’s a huge Lakers fan and I got the seats when I was really young, when I was working on a TV show — Jack & Bobby — and the network got me the seats. It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done.

You’re on a first date. Who pays and why?
Oh, I would always pay. Even for my friends. Even for, like, a girl who’s just a friend. It’s just the way I was raised.

That’s fantastic. You’d be surprised what’s going on out there in the world of dating.
It’s terrible.

You’re a Capricorn — what does that mean? Are you into astrology at all? Why are girls so into astrology?
I have no idea, and I have no idea.

Would you ever date, or make out with, or have sex with, a girl who is taller than you?
[Laughs] That’s funny! That’s hilarious! Yeah, definitely! There are a lot of girls I’m attracted to who are taller than me.

Are you a virgin?
I’m going to pass on that. I mean…

If it existed, would you take the ‘man pill’?
If it existed? Um, I can’t imagine that would be healthy for you… Hmm, if there was one, and it was safe, yes, I would take it. That would be very convenient.

As an actor, girls throw themselves at you, and you’re going to have the opportunity to have more casual sex than most. Are you excited about this? Or do you think casual one-night-stand sex will make you feel empty? Do men have feelings too?
Yes, men have feelings too, and yes, that would make me feel very empty. It’s not what I look for. I like to get to know a person … If it’s something so sudden, it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t sleep around.

What’s a huge turn-off for you with people in general?
Well, everyone has his or her pet peeves, but mine are really random. There’s nothing I really look for in someone that would irritate me. But, like, someone who uses a piano as a table would irritate me. I have a really odd, random list of things that would bother me, and that’s one of them — using it to put down your drinks, or as a piece of furniture, instead of playing it.

Who do you want to work with more than anything?
Paul Thomas Anderson, the Coen brothers, Spike Jonze — filmmakers I really respect.

Did you originally sign onto The Three Musketeers because you misunderstood and thought the director was Paul Thomas Anderson [the actual director is Paul W.S. Anderson]? That happened to people I know with a directing duo called the Cohen brothers, but a different Cohen brothers.
[Laughs] No, that’s not why I took the film. A real deciding factor was my grandfather. As a young kid he had to leave his home in Germany and he only took a book or two with him … The Three Musketeers was one of them. He just loves the story, and I grew up watching the films with him because he loves the movies as well. You know, it meant a lot to him, and I really wanted to be a part of it. I want him to come to the premiere but it’s in London, and it’s hard for him to have the energy to fly…

Which role are you least proud of?
I’d love to be able to answer that… Give me a few years before I can answer that honestly.

In The Only Living Boy in New York, the upcoming modern take on The Graduate, your character has an affair with his father’s mistress, played by Olivia Wilde. Would you ever date an older woman in real life?
Yes. I’ve dated older women. I like older women. You know, it all depends on the person … I don’t have an age limit.

That’s great! You’re 19 — you should be dating older women and learning lots of new things.
Exactly.

What’s the worst thing about being interviewed?
Everything. I don’t know; it’s a weird thing. It’s very uncomfortable and you’re also constantly thinking about how you’re going to word something, or how something is going to be phrased. Having to think about that is a little… [He trails off because his phone vibrates — it’s his dad. He is a gentleman and presses ‘ignore’.]

So, you have an actual ‘momager’. What’s that like?
It’s a weird relationship; you can’t deny that. It’s odd working with your mother growing up. But I’m glad … because it made me much more… I feel more grounded. Her being present kept me from becoming… from avoiding that trauma that young actors tend go through. I appreciated having my mom around and all the sacrifices she made for my career: travelling with me as a kid, going to these locations, living in Memphis for three months. She was an economics major at UCLA. She worked in the art world in Los Angeles. She had a different life, doing all of her own things. To selflessly let me pursue my dream at a young age, and for her to help me and be there for me, is something I can’t thank her enough for. But it’s very difficult for a young person to be around their mother that often.

Are your parents together?
No, they’re divorced. But I’m very close with both sides of my family. They chose to live close to each other.

You’re still a kid, but when you’re older do you think you’ll want kids?
Who says I don’t have kids already?

Oh my fucking God! What? Do you?
No. But I’d love to have kids one day, of course.

Do you promise me you’ll never take drugs or smoke?
Sure.

At this very moment, are you figuring out ways to get my phone number so you can take me out on a date, without your publicist or the photographer hearing?
Ha! You read my mind.

Words: Alexi Wasser
Photography: Nabil Elderkin
Fashion: Kelly Tomlinson
Grooming: John D.

tonight: tune into/call into ‘boycrazy radio!’

 

tonight/wednesday march 14, 2012 9pm pst

join me during ‘boycrazy radio’

click here to listen

& totally call in so we can discuss & solve all your love/life/dating problems

all you have to do is dial
1(646) 378-0649
or call us toll-free
1(877)569-3588

if you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or Skype!

if you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message on ‘boycrazy voicemail’ 1(888)666-2045

& follow me on twitter while you’re at it/

ttyl, xoxo

ps: listen to previous episodes of ‘boycrazy radio’ below…

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

disenchanted…

i haven’t even been able to successfully masturbate recently. i mean, if i was in the mood to even try, i would be successful at it… but i haven’t been. i’m walking around in the weirdest mood lately. sure. i just got an i-phone, so life can’t be ALL that bad. now i have more incentive to get in a car wreck while i’m pretending NOT to be: a) fascinated by how much my phone can do/ b) texting and driving. and ps: day one of owning the i-phone, when i’m not driving, i’m walking around los Angeles talking to anyone who will listen/crosses my path and saying things like ‘hey, do you have an i-phone?’ ‘yeah. why?’ ‘cuz, i just got one. so, yeah. i have one too now. it’s crazy, right?!’ while the person just looks at me with a deadpan expression thinking ‘this poor girl. where was she two years ago when i was as excited as she is now? poor thing. she can’t even partake in the collective excitement that passed her by.’ and then i say ‘do you have Siri?’ and that’s when i realize there’s an i-phone class system. and as much as i want to connect, i can’t; cuz we’re the same but different.

anyway, i-phone bullshit aside, i don’t know if it was the full moon the other day, or my recent break up, or mercury in retrograde or whatever else people are saying is causing the general collective moodiness… but i feel weird. i feel like i’ve been sleep walking. i feel glazed over. i ALREADY blame my i-phone for that! to be fair, i should blame my blackberry too. the i-phone is just an intense chaser. regardless, here’s where i’m at: i’m watching too much tv. late nights up till 7am watching back to back episodes of the original Beverly hills 90210 on dvd; every Kardashian show; mob wives; each and every ‘real housewives of…’ wherever, bravo Andy in the clubhouse; bettheny ever after; tmz; the soup; Chelsea lately; fuck… i even watched ‘shahs of sunset’! ‘SHAHS OF MOTHERFUCKING SUNSET!” i promised myself i wouldnt! BUT I DID! and when i tell my friends i was up till 7am and my eyes are burning, they get excited, thinking i was having sex or raging or having adventures - which i’m known to do. but no. i’ve been in a bizarro, glazed over, lethargic, haze these past ten days. ten days is it?

i’m trying  my hardest not to pick at bumps on my body that no one can see but me (i call this behavior ‘home surgery’/self sabotage) because I’m anxiety ridden and worried that my dreams aren’t gonna come true and that ultimately everything isn’t gonna be ok. i also think the picking is me subconsciously, but now consciously, trying to prevent myself from getting naked in front of strangers. this behavior isn’t new for me. it seems to always strike when i’m in between relationships. i just forget about this. i block it out. like how girls block out the warning signs that they’re gonna get their period… even though it happens every month. or how women (or so i’ve heard) block out how painful it is to give birth. cuz if they didn’t, they’d never have another kid again. i guess i block out my post break up behavior because if i didn’t i might never jump back into being in love again?

during this slump… i’ve found moments of warmth come while watching ‘something borrowed’ for the umpteenth time. i’ve even found myself literally saying to myself things like “John Krasinski is so likable. he’s the new tom hanks! i’m telling you!” and “this ginnifer goodwin girl has such a lovable face. i really adore her. i don’t even care that she spells her name all weird with a ‘g’ or whatevs.” and “this might be the best work Kate Hudson has ever done. for real. and yeah, i’m even factoring in her performance in ‘almost famous’ too, even.”

i still have no crush on anyone. i’m pissed and disenchanted that my ex boyfriend turned out to be what i hoped/thought he wasn’t when i first met him: a pussy. someone too sensitive and overall, someone not strong enough for me. someone who refused to see me clearly, but pretended to. someone who did himself the disservice of not being his true self around me because i intimidated him. all of this bums me out, because all i thought he was doing and all i wanted him to be was himself. all i wanted him to do was love me and not be phased by me and my sense of humor. i just wanted to accept him, and for him to accept me.

and now, these past few days, i’ve been catching myself falling into pockets of momentary disillusionment. momentary pockets of disenchantment where i question if anyone will ever love me again. if i’ll ever love anyone. i’ve thought: what’s the point? everything ends or gets shitty eventually anyway, so why even start again? why even try? and even when/if i do start dating again… even if it’s just because i want to have sex and be touched and kissed again… why invest my heart or any part of me emotionally? why do that? i see so many of my friends who are in lackluster relationships. they’re unhappy, and cheating, or fighting, or faking, or gloomy, or staying in their situation out of fear, or settling. what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK!? it all looks so shitty! like everything’s doomed/has an expiration date.

right now, i’m not looking for a boyfriend… however, i am on the verge of being in dire need of sex again… but that’s just primal. i just feel ‘blah’. i’m trying though. trying to take the advice i’d give to a friend. i wake up and make coffee and shave my legs and make myself as cute as i can before i leave the house so i can trick myself into feeling good. so i can feel a bit sexy? i’m staying busy, and making lists, and checking things off on those goal lists. i’m focusing on work, i’m spending time with my family, and friends, and my i-phone. i’m making songs, and writing, and taking epsom salt baths, and playing drums, and trying new restaurants (and trying to balance THAT with not gaining too much weight). i’m staying up till 4am reading the Craigslist missed connections, and trolling Facebook/twitter, and reading, and going to the korean naked spa… i’m trying to distract myself; to fake it till i make it. i’m newly single-ish, not interested in anyone, AND i’m waiting to begin a job that’s around the corner… so the in between, down time is an uncomfortable feeling for me. i’m sleeping in late. have a hard time getting out of bed, etc. i know i said all this… but it just feels really unlike me. it feels like i have mono! i don’t, but it feels like i do! i know i am the perf candidate for mono, but i already had it in eighth grade! how DARE you!

one of my favorite things to do while i’m out and about, when i am finally able to get out of my goddamn front door, is smile at strangers who look all grumpy. and when we make eye contact, their grumpy face melts away into a smile. that makes me happy. that little moment has a ripple effect and not only does it make me feel less alone and connected to the world, it makes me feel like i made a little contribution. something as simple as eye contact and a smile.

my therapist tells me that this mood i’m in, this phase, is the quiet before the storm. i believe him. i have to. what else can i do? he says things like ‘everything is exactly as it needs to be’. he tells me to say this to myself when i’m panicked and am forgetting to breathe (which i often do). and so i say it aloud to myself, when no one’s looking/around. duh. and it actually does calm me. i tell myself that this hazy rut will pass and needs to exist for reasons i’ll understand later.

and overall, i know that no matter how bitter the taste in my mouth gets right now- regarding love and relationships- i’m a romantic. and when it’s right, it’s right. i’ll feel it/vibe it when i cross paths with whoever i’m meant to be sexxxing next or whoever i’m meant to love next. right now, i don’t think they’ll be the same person… but one day they will be. xoxo

reader submission: letter to the father of the girl my ex boyfriend was cheating on me with, and is now dating… (should i send it?)

Hi Alexi,

My boyfriend has been cheating on me with a single-mom from our hometown. He has been taking her out publicly and even took her to Valentine’s Day dinner. My friends from my hometown didn’t tell me because they thought that since he was being so open, that we had broken up. This has, apparently, been going on for quite some time. I did warn the girl when I found out about the cheating but clearly she did not listen as they are now in a relationship – one week after I ended mine.I did not send this letter to the father but wish I could. I just wanted to warn this new girl’s father of her new boyfriend’s deceptive and manipulative ways because the same thing is gonna happen to her and it saddens me.

Thanks,

here is the letter:

Read the rest of this post >>>

the blind leading the blind (part 82):

1. when you order delivery just for you and the restaurant brings your food with two sets of utensils… it’s time to start ordering less food.

2. there are so many invisible variables when it comes to a relationship. so much of it can be great, but all it takes is that subtle x factor that isn’t right (that you can’t quiet put your finger on) that can ruin it/make it crumble/make it not right.

3. town cars are soooo much chic’er than limos. trust.

4. girls: please don’t refer to yourself as a ‘slut’! let other people do that for you… behind your back.

5. I wonder if the delivery guy from the restaurant I’ve been ordering from a TON recently is having sexual fantasies about me now too.

6. if you’re at the point where when you tell your friends you’re having a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend and they respond ‘what is it NOW?’ it MAY be time to reevaluate your relationship.

7. an expired condom is better than NO condom.

8. sloppy chic bangs make you look younger because only a youthful idiot would cut their own bangs.

9. sex with someone new, who you’re excited about, is filled with infinite possibilities. whereas sex with an ex is just sad and will more likely than not leave you lonelier than you were before.

10. just because I’ll love you forever doesn’t mean I want to be with you now.

ps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

tonight: tune in & call into ‘boycrazy radio!’

tonight/wednesday march 7, 2012 9pm pst

join me during ‘boycrazy radio’

click here to listen

& totally call in so we can discuss & solve all your love/life/dating problems

all you have to do is dial
1(646) 378-0649
or call us toll-free
1(877)569-3588

if you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or Skype!

if you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message on ‘boycrazy voicemail’ 1(888)666-2045

& follow me on twitter while you’re at it/

ttyl, xoxo

ps: listen to previous episodes of ‘boycrazy radio’ below…

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

when the most beautiful young hipster boy who is religious & waiting until marriage to have sex met the most boycrazy girl in the world:

Hey Alexi!

It’s me the skater boy you met yesterday.

Firstly I wanted to say that I am flattered that you would want to interview me (or whatever you said)
for your blog. :)

Ask much as I would like to, I’m going to have to pass on this.

Before you think of me as a complete douche…………..

Incase you didn’t overhear me talking, I moved to LA to do youth work
as intern at a church here in LA.
We have just recently finished a series as a part of our weekly program
called Sex & Nacho’s (talking about sex and eating nachos to avoid awkwardness)
which encourages having sex only when being married.
We also encourage them to do their best in steering clear of pornographic imagery
simply from the point of view that it gives a false perception of sex with your average person
and can be a hindrance in a relationship later down the track and cause it can simply
mess with your heart too much.

After viewing your site, I would be more than happy to talk to you about whatever you wanted to know
about me, however due to my current job placement, I do not want to be deemed as hypocritical
and have confusion on what I have presented to these young people in being linked to your blog/site.

Having said that I found your site, quite eye-opening and enthralling!

You have a wonderful presence and it was a pleasure meeting you!

-Skater boy

Dear Skater Boy,

No worries. I totally understand you not wanting to be on my website. However… no sex before marriage? but why? Where are you from? Why do you feel this is the way? And what IS allowed sexually before marriage? What are the boundaries? What if you wait till marriage and the sex is horrible? Just asking to gain clarity on a way that I don’t quite understand. 

-Alexi

Hi Alexi,

Well honestly speaking I believe God created sex.
And that he wants us to have great sex!!
But in the right context.

Putting my religious beliefs aside let me give you an example why I personally am waiting.
I dated a girl when i was 18 and it was my first real relationship. She was quite a shy and timid girl. People thought of her as a sweet good girl.
We would often make out and ‘hold’ each other for lengthy periods of time.
For me (and her), never having sex before … that was great and exciting.
We never put our hands down each others pants….etc.
But soon I realised I liked this girl simply cuz of the physical-ness. Not the relationship itself.
I was planning on breaking up with her one day and didn’t.
Long story short, i found out she kissed a guy at college! Not just once, but on three separate occasions while we were dating!
I remember the day after i found out, my heart-felt like someone was literally squeezing it in their hand as hard as they could.
Something I’ve never felt before……

Its made me think…..
When we made out, it wasnt as ‘smooth’ or well-executed as you see in movies, but…. it was amazing.
In the end was it worth it?
For me….. no.
So now I am waiting to meet a girl who I enjoy the relationship with first, before physical-ness. (Of course I want someone attractive! ha)
And by that, I mean I know 100 percent that I want to marry her.
I’m not worried about sex being bad when married cuz she’s gonna be the only girl I have sex with the rest of my life!
Sure in the future it could be mundane or less exciting. But that’s what marriage is. You work at comprising (or truly loving) your partner.
And work on ways for your sex to get better.

Now I’m not saying its easy not having sex. I’m a male. i basically think about it everyday. I’ve dabbled in pornography and i catch my self
scanning an attractive girl walking past me. But ive trained/training myself to be everything I can for my future wife.
And I making sure that girls i encounter must meet the standard I’ve set for a future wife. They don’t have to be perfect, but I want someone who also
wants to give them-self fully to me and dedicated just as much as I will be to them.

It’s all about love and respect. In most cases. Girls just need true love. And guys need true respect.
It can work. I know numerous of cases where people have waited, married and still love each other and are having great sex!
As disgusting as it is to think of….. my parents are that case.

A simple point of view I have on boundaries (without getting too technical) is….
Not allowing one body part entering into another persons body.
Some Christians take this quite literal and don’t even kiss with tongue!
I’m slightly more liberal.

Having said all this, I personally feel that I found a love like no other.
The love I feel from God is literally out of this world. I have deep peace that transcends all my understanding.
The relationship I have with Jesus casts out all of my fear, guilt and shame.
He loves me truly for who I am and satisfies me like no sex, porno or girl could ever do.
Not everyday is easy and peaceful, but it’s a relationship worth fighting for.
Not all Christians love and respect people the way they should, but God can love and restore you unlike any other.

Hope that shed some light on where I’m coming from.

-Skater Boy

tonight: tune in & call into ‘boycrazy radio!’

tonight/wednesday february 29,2012 9pm pst

join me during ‘boycrazy radio’

click here to listen

& totally call in so we can discuss & solve all your love/life/dating problems

all you have to do is dial
1(646) 378-0649
or call us toll-free
1(877)569-3588

if you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or Skype!

if you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message on ‘boycrazy voicemail’ 1(888)666-2045

& follow me on twitter while you’re at it/

ttyl, xoxo

ps: listen to previous episodes of ‘boycrazy radio’ below…

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

reader submission: “CRISIS Advice- I ‘cheated’ on my boyfriend with a girl”

Hi Alexi,

I read your blog all the time and I saw no better woman to write this email to than you. I have been having major relationship issues for the past few days and I feel like I need some perspective. Please bear with me because I tend to ramble when I tell my stories…

I’m 21. I’ve been dating the same GREAT guy (also 21) for the past two years, with a bit of history before that. We’ve had our ups and downs – our relationship is far from perfect. But it works somehow and I love him incredible amounts. I definitely think I am more into him than he is into me. He’s known to be a flirt but I’ve never had to worry about him cheating on me. We’ve always discussed the idea of “threesomes” and me hooking up with another girl. The idea turns him on (no surprise there) and turns me on as well.
I’ve always assumed a situation like this would never come to us easily or out of nowhere… But last week I had an old friend of mine come over and spend the night. She’s in a serious relationship and totally devoted to her boyfriend. However, she’s also incredibly open-minded and has had multiple encounters with other females. I’ve only gone as far as making out with some of my female friends – in a completely non-intimate, playful way. Anyways, we had gone through over 2 bottles of wine and a heart to heart, and we were heading to bed, when she asked to “cuddle.” I agreed, not thinking anything of it. She’s very affectionate. But she started sort of rubbing and touching my stomach and her hands began wandering. She told me “If you want me to stop just tell me.”

Read the rest of this post >>>

make it YOURS monday: ‘crackKillz’ asks about approaching girls via social networking…

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ [email protected]

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU



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