reader submission: letter to the father of the girl my ex boyfriend was cheating on me with, and is now dating… (should i send it?)

Hi Alexi,

My boyfriend has been cheating on me with a single-mom from our hometown. He has been taking her out publicly and even took her to Valentine’s Day dinner. My friends from my hometown didn’t tell me because they thought that since he was being so open, that we had broken up. This has, apparently, been going on for quite some time. I did warn the girl when I found out about the cheating but clearly she did not listen as they are now in a relationship – one week after I ended mine.I did not send this letter to the father but wish I could. I just wanted to warn this new girl’s father of her new boyfriend’s deceptive and manipulative ways because the same thing is gonna happen to her and it saddens me.

Thanks,

here is the letter:

Read the rest of this post >>>

the blind leading the blind (part 82):

1. when you order delivery just for you and the restaurant brings your food with two sets of utensils… it’s time to start ordering less food.

2. there are so many invisible variables when it comes to a relationship. so much of it can be great, but all it takes is that subtle x factor that isn’t right (that you can’t quiet put your finger on) that can ruin it/make it crumble/make it not right.

3. town cars are soooo much chic’er than limos. trust.

4. girls: please don’t refer to yourself as a ‘slut’! let other people do that for you… behind your back.

5. I wonder if the delivery guy from the restaurant I’ve been ordering from a TON recently is having sexual fantasies about me now too.

6. if you’re at the point where when you tell your friends you’re having a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend and they respond ‘what is it NOW?’ it MAY be time to reevaluate your relationship.

7. an expired condom is better than NO condom.

8. sloppy chic bangs make you look younger because only a youthful idiot would cut their own bangs.

9. sex with someone new, who you’re excited about, is filled with infinite possibilities. whereas sex with an ex is just sad and will more likely than not leave you lonelier than you were before.

10. just because I’ll love you forever doesn’t mean I want to be with you now.

ps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

tonight: tune in & call into ‘boycrazy radio!’

tonight/wednesday march 7, 2012 9pm pst

join me during ‘boycrazy radio’

click here to listen

& totally call in so we can discuss & solve all your love/life/dating problems

all you have to do is dial
1(646) 378-0649
or call us toll-free
1(877)569-3588

if you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or Skype!

if you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message on ‘boycrazy voicemail’ 1(888)666-2045

& follow me on twitter while you’re at it/

ttyl, xoxo

ps: listen to previous episodes of ‘boycrazy radio’ below…

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

when the most beautiful young hipster boy who is religious & waiting until marriage to have sex met the most boycrazy girl in the world:

Hey Alexi!

It’s me the skater boy you met yesterday.

Firstly I wanted to say that I am flattered that you would want to interview me (or whatever you said)
for your blog. :)

Ask much as I would like to, I’m going to have to pass on this.

Before you think of me as a complete douche…………..

Incase you didn’t overhear me talking, I moved to LA to do youth work
as intern at a church here in LA.
We have just recently finished a series as a part of our weekly program
called Sex & Nacho’s (talking about sex and eating nachos to avoid awkwardness)
which encourages having sex only when being married.
We also encourage them to do their best in steering clear of pornographic imagery
simply from the point of view that it gives a false perception of sex with your average person
and can be a hindrance in a relationship later down the track and cause it can simply
mess with your heart too much.

After viewing your site, I would be more than happy to talk to you about whatever you wanted to know
about me, however due to my current job placement, I do not want to be deemed as hypocritical
and have confusion on what I have presented to these young people in being linked to your blog/site.

Having said that I found your site, quite eye-opening and enthralling!

You have a wonderful presence and it was a pleasure meeting you!

-Skater boy

Dear Skater Boy,

No worries. I totally understand you not wanting to be on my website. However… no sex before marriage? but why? Where are you from? Why do you feel this is the way? And what IS allowed sexually before marriage? What are the boundaries? What if you wait till marriage and the sex is horrible? Just asking to gain clarity on a way that I don’t quite understand. 

-Alexi

Hi Alexi,

Well honestly speaking I believe God created sex.
And that he wants us to have great sex!!
But in the right context.

Putting my religious beliefs aside let me give you an example why I personally am waiting.
I dated a girl when i was 18 and it was my first real relationship. She was quite a shy and timid girl. People thought of her as a sweet good girl.
We would often make out and ‘hold’ each other for lengthy periods of time.
For me (and her), never having sex before … that was great and exciting.
We never put our hands down each others pants….etc.
But soon I realised I liked this girl simply cuz of the physical-ness. Not the relationship itself.
I was planning on breaking up with her one day and didn’t.
Long story short, i found out she kissed a guy at college! Not just once, but on three separate occasions while we were dating!
I remember the day after i found out, my heart-felt like someone was literally squeezing it in their hand as hard as they could.
Something I’ve never felt before……

Its made me think…..
When we made out, it wasnt as ‘smooth’ or well-executed as you see in movies, but…. it was amazing.
In the end was it worth it?
For me….. no.
So now I am waiting to meet a girl who I enjoy the relationship with first, before physical-ness. (Of course I want someone attractive! ha)
And by that, I mean I know 100 percent that I want to marry her.
I’m not worried about sex being bad when married cuz she’s gonna be the only girl I have sex with the rest of my life!
Sure in the future it could be mundane or less exciting. But that’s what marriage is. You work at comprising (or truly loving) your partner.
And work on ways for your sex to get better.

Now I’m not saying its easy not having sex. I’m a male. i basically think about it everyday. I’ve dabbled in pornography and i catch my self
scanning an attractive girl walking past me. But ive trained/training myself to be everything I can for my future wife.
And I making sure that girls i encounter must meet the standard I’ve set for a future wife. They don’t have to be perfect, but I want someone who also
wants to give them-self fully to me and dedicated just as much as I will be to them.

It’s all about love and respect. In most cases. Girls just need true love. And guys need true respect.
It can work. I know numerous of cases where people have waited, married and still love each other and are having great sex!
As disgusting as it is to think of….. my parents are that case.

A simple point of view I have on boundaries (without getting too technical) is….
Not allowing one body part entering into another persons body.
Some Christians take this quite literal and don’t even kiss with tongue!
I’m slightly more liberal.

Having said all this, I personally feel that I found a love like no other.
The love I feel from God is literally out of this world. I have deep peace that transcends all my understanding.
The relationship I have with Jesus casts out all of my fear, guilt and shame.
He loves me truly for who I am and satisfies me like no sex, porno or girl could ever do.
Not everyday is easy and peaceful, but it’s a relationship worth fighting for.
Not all Christians love and respect people the way they should, but God can love and restore you unlike any other.

Hope that shed some light on where I’m coming from.

-Skater Boy

tonight: tune in & call into ‘boycrazy radio!’

tonight/wednesday february 29,2012 9pm pst

join me during ‘boycrazy radio’

click here to listen

& totally call in so we can discuss & solve all your love/life/dating problems

all you have to do is dial
1(646) 378-0649
or call us toll-free
1(877)569-3588

if you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or Skype!

if you can’t call in during the live show, leave a message on ‘boycrazy voicemail’ 1(888)666-2045

& follow me on twitter while you’re at it/

ttyl, xoxo

ps: listen to previous episodes of ‘boycrazy radio’ below…

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

reader submission: “CRISIS Advice- I ‘cheated’ on my boyfriend with a girl”

Hi Alexi,

I read your blog all the time and I saw no better woman to write this email to than you. I have been having major relationship issues for the past few days and I feel like I need some perspective. Please bear with me because I tend to ramble when I tell my stories…

I’m 21. I’ve been dating the same GREAT guy (also 21) for the past two years, with a bit of history before that. We’ve had our ups and downs – our relationship is far from perfect. But it works somehow and I love him incredible amounts. I definitely think I am more into him than he is into me. He’s known to be a flirt but I’ve never had to worry about him cheating on me. We’ve always discussed the idea of “threesomes” and me hooking up with another girl. The idea turns him on (no surprise there) and turns me on as well.
I’ve always assumed a situation like this would never come to us easily or out of nowhere… But last week I had an old friend of mine come over and spend the night. She’s in a serious relationship and totally devoted to her boyfriend. However, she’s also incredibly open-minded and has had multiple encounters with other females. I’ve only gone as far as making out with some of my female friends – in a completely non-intimate, playful way. Anyways, we had gone through over 2 bottles of wine and a heart to heart, and we were heading to bed, when she asked to “cuddle.” I agreed, not thinking anything of it. She’s very affectionate. But she started sort of rubbing and touching my stomach and her hands began wandering. She told me “If you want me to stop just tell me.”

Read the rest of this post >>>

make it YOURS monday: ‘crackKillz’ asks about approaching girls via social networking…

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ [email protected]

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU

alexi’s ultimate check list for the future love of her life (feel free to use my list!):

Once again, i’m single… and that’s fine. six months ago i was so content and happy being single. i was having sex like a dude, completely career driven with no ties to my heart and so emotionally unavailable no one was able to get under my skin… because i didn’t care about them to begin with. i had absolutely NO desire to be in a relationship, and that’s when one found me. which is exactly where i think a person should be emotionally before they get into a relationship. um, not the having sex like a dude and being essentially numb part, just the overall state of being content and happy in your singledom. because, ideally, you should be with someone because it’s undeniable and you don’t want to miss out on them because they’re too amazing and you feel so good when you’re with them, and you’re in love! NOT because you need a warm body next to you who could be ANYONE, just because you’re too scared to be alone and think you’re a failure if you’re not coupled up. do people really feel that way? even now? that’s so weird to me.

but now that’s all over and i’m looking forward to getting back to the ‘i’m so secure and happy being single’ state. in a way, even though i broke up with my last dude, i wasn’t ready to be out of my relationship. i actually really LIKED being in a monogamous, healthy relationship! i did! it was great! and the reason it had to end snuck up on me. although it was something that needed to happen, and was inevitable… it all happened so quickly and wasn’t what i had planned on. i had AT LEAST four more months in me to give. ; )

whenever i give my heart to someone and get into a relationship with them, i’m taking myself off the market and giving myself to them because i love them and have the intention that we could be together forever. you have to think that! you should be that crazy about them that that’s your intention. why go in knowing you’re gonna be looking for an out at some point down the road? that’s what flings, dating, and one night stands are for. duh.

i mean, yeah, i’m a realist as much as i am a romantic; i know that sometimes (most of the time?) we’re only meant to have relationships with people for a certain amount of time because they’re a stepping stone to the next life lesson/love/relationship/distraction. but i like to jump into a relationship a million percent. when i say ‘i love you’ (and i’m not talking about how loosely i use it on twitter), i mean it. shit, i hope i don’t start to get jaded or bitter when it comes to love. no, i won’t. i might not ever get married, but i’m going to fall in love as many times as i can/need to/find it, and do so with as much child like enthusiasm as usual. i mean, you can learn from experiences and not get bitter.

so now that this relationship is freshly over, and i’ve just been reminded of what works and does not work for me in a relationship, in an attempt to get acclimated at being a single, healthy, happy, productive, focused, balanced girl again- it’s important i get reaquainted with what it is i’m looking for the next time love finds me.

i’m not saying i want to rush into another relationship, as if that’s the goal of every single girl/that’s what defines success and happiness for a woman. not at all. i could be single for the rest of my life and never get married or have kids or anything and that would be fine. although i do feel that relationships are just as important as being single/comfortable being alone. relationships are where you do the most work on yourself. they are a tool to learn about yourself, using the other person as a mirror you’re reflected in; you have to explain yourself and be held accountable for you moods, actions, words, behavior, feelings. your childhood demons/history/scars come up and all the other emotional dark stuff you can’t see when you’re single.

right now, i’m in a state of reflection and attempting to get some clarity on what just happened and what i need when it comes to having a lover/partner/boyfriend, whatever.

i mean, to be real, at THIS point i just want to MEET someone i’m excited enough about to have sex with. someone who’s single and respectful and cute and interesting… and then, beyond that, i’m good with just getting back to that place where i’m completely satisfied being single and totally/exclusively in love with myself.

presently, i’m not excited about anyone. i’ve just survived a break up, a birthday, valentine’s day, etc.

so here i am: in desperate need of writing a letter to myself to remind me not to settle for less than what i want/need/deserve.

feel free to borrow my list.

alexi’s ultimate check list for the future love of her life:

-we make each other’s lives better.

-he respects, loves, supports, and is excited about what i do for work. and vice versa.

-he makes me laugh and i make him laugh.  (so much, like crazy!)

-i am so attracted to him. he’s so attracted to me.

-we have great sex! epic sex!

-he has a wonderful, big private that satisfies me.

-he’s successful and loves his career.

-he’s my best friend. i’m his best friend.

-i can talk to him about anything. he can talk to me about anything. (without either of us getting weird/uncomfortable/or offended)

-we are so passionate about each other.

-we get each others sense of humor. we love each others sense of humor.

-he’s taller than me.

-he has great style. when we walk into a room, we look great together.

-i love his body. he loves my body.

-we can do anything together and it’s fun and easy: long walks, traveling, hiking, being quiet together, making stuff, etc.

-he isn’t threatened by my having a blog where i talk about love, sex, my feelings, and experiences. he thinks it’s great and loves it/it gives him insight into the inner-workings of my brain, and we can talk about it. he thinks i’m a badass.

-i feel safe with him. he feels safe with me.

-we’re creative together.

-he’s true to his word. i can count on him doing what he says he’ll do. i can count on him if i need help.

-he makes more money than me.

-he has no roommates, dogs, or kids.

-he drives a nice car.

-he’s single.

-he treats me like a princess.

-he loves his mom.

-i trust him. he’s trustworthy and faithful. he trusts me.

-i believe in him. he believes in me.

-he’s proud of me. i’m proud of him.

-we inspire each other.

-we have so much fun together.

-i’m not shy around him. i can be my true self around him.

-he barely drinks or doesn’t drink, is a non smoker, and is drug free.

-neither one of us has any desire to cheat.

-he loves me so much! he’s crazy about me and i’m crazy about him.

-we make stuff together.

-we genuinely like each others family and friends. it’s fun and warm and easy.

-he’s super sexy and has that ‘bad boy’ cool factor that i need in a guy.

-he’s really confident, but not to the point of being an unlikable, arrogant, ego maniacal prick.

-he’s a master at what he does.

-he’s smart, talented, and well-traveled. we learn from each other.

-he respects women. he’s not a misogynist.

-our relationship is fun and easy and passionate all at once.

-it’s not a battle of egos.

-we are so happy together, and communicate really well.

-he’s completely emotionally and physically available to me.

-he’s really healthy. but not to the point of being annoying and rigid.

-he has lots of energy, a great sex drive, and lots of stamina.

-he’s in a good mood more so than not.

-he doesn’t take his problems out on me. we talk about them, but he doesn’t unfairly lash out.

-he loves coffee.

-he’s romantic.

-he’s a gentleman.

-he’s ok with me potentially never wanting to get married.

-he’s ok with me potentially wanting to get married.

-he would make a good father… if i decide i ever want to have kids (i do, i think. just one… a LONG time from now)

-he wants marriage and kids.

-he lives in la.

-he’s not an angry guy.

-he’s very confident in who he is, what he wants, and how to go about getting it.

-he’s responsible: with his actions, his choices, my feelings, other people’s feelings, etc. he doesn’t play mind games.

-he’s good with money, but not cheap.

-he makes me so happy. i make him so happy.

-he isn’t a moody, passive aggressive, a control freak, or a man-child.

-he isn’t super religious. (spiritual and believing in god is fine)

-he has great taste.

-he has good morals. he has a strong moral compass. but this doesn’t mean he’s a nerdy, boring, dork who isn’t a badass/rock n roll.

-he isn’t the type of guy who needs to be mothered.

-the relationship isn’t difficult. it makes our lives better. it’s a blend of the kind of love you feel when you’re a teenager and your heart beats crazy fast and you draw hearts with your names in it on notebook paper, mixed with the responsibilities of adulthood. an epic balance of sex, love, passion, work, friendship & remembering who we are as individuals, but when we come together we’re even stronger and we make people who see us together believe in love!

 

tonight: ‘boycrazy radio!’ w/ special guests dave & marshall from ‘olin & the moon’

tonight/wednesday february 22,2012 9pm pst

join me, dave labrel & marshall vore

from ‘olin & the moon’

who knows what epic or horrible advice they may or may not give you during the show… but i guarantee it will be entertaining. but what’s most important is that they are both babes who are in a cool band. yeah, you’re welcome!

click here to listen

& totally call in so we can discuss & solve all your love/life/dating problems

all you have to do is dial
1(646) 378-0649
or call us toll-free
1(877)569-3588

if you’re in another country, you can call in using gmail or Skype!

if you can’t call in during the live show, leave us a message on ‘boycrazy voicemail’ 1(888)666-2045

follow olin & the moon on twitter

experience them on i-tunes

‘like’ them on facebook

ttyl, xoxo

reader submission: ‘am i still being used even though we’re both getting what we want?’

So i just started my freshman year of college. i came in not a virgin, i lost my virginity to my boyfriend of senior year no big deal. i get that the first time is a big deal but what about the times after? when i meet guys here i know what it will ultimately lead to after a quick make out session so why resist?

i met this guy who also goes to my school and after making out twice i decided to give him my blessing. we did the birds and the bees at 4 am one night after he texted me asking to come over. we obviously both enjoyed ourselves because we did it again. but it was the same exact scenario, getting a text at 4 am and finishing the job and then watching him leave after a quick chat afterwards. i’m cool with being all casual and anti-relationship but whats the limit? am i still being used even though we’re both getting what we want?

please help me! your advice is much appreciated.

love,
confused fresh meat

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ [email protected]

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU



Page 30 of 91« First...1020...2829303132...405060...Last »