1. watching tv when you wake up means one of the following: you have failed at life, you’re deathly ill, you’re so successful you can act like you’ve failed at life for a day and it won’t stress you out.
2. compose your email BEFORE you fill in who you wanna send it to! this will save you lots of future embarrassment. i PROMISE you!
3. ‘no’ is the second best answer after ‘yes’. at least that’s what my agent keeps telling me.
4. there’s nothing better than the stress diet!
5. a casual acquaintance might ‘like’ a photo of yours on Facebook, but a TRUE friend likes your photo on Instagram, Facebook, tumbler, AND Twitter.
6. beautiful young girls in LA: beware of creepy, letchy, lurker dudes who prey upon the young & naive. Typically these men linger during the day at LA hotspots such as: Erewhon, m cafe, urth cafe on Melrose, and whole foods on Santa Monica & Fairfax. These are their chosen spots because they draw in young, naive girls who have just moved to town, are aspiring model/actress’s (mattress’s), who are healthy, possibly vegan, and above all else – weight & image conscious. Good luck.
7. never vent to your boyfriend’s friends about your boyfriend. no matter how close you think you are to them, they are HIS friends FIRST!
8. when in need of a gentle exfollient, but you’ve run out of your supply, try simple white sugar. not powdered, not sugar in the raw, not cubed… just plain old, normal packet white sugar.
9. when somebody goes over to your house and uses your bathroom, before you use your bathroom after they leave, use Lysol wipes to disinfect the toilet seat and the toilet. Also, throw the towels they used in the hamper before you even think about using them. And it wouldn’t hurt to change the head of your toothbrush or throw away your toothbrush in general. You can never be too safe, friends or not. #trustnoone
10. dear target, could you please start ripping off La Perla instead of Victoria’s Secret? That would really help out my life!