(part 2) is this it? modern love:

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(continued from yesterday’s post)

he wrote:

It’s hard to tell sometimes, people’s survival mechanisms kick in and
they become great at living double lives, but actions generally speak
louder than words. Steve Harvey has a great line in his book “act like
a woman, think like a man”. when he says “men love different than women.
he wont tell you he loves you all the time, so don’t expect it. but if
he takes you out to hang with his boys, he’s showing that you’re his
girl, that exhibition of coupledom in front of that group of people is
almost more significant than the word.”

To get some insight, I have a pretty girl.  She’s sweet as candy,
LOVESSSS me so much, would do anything for me. I think she’s the
coolest, but I still think I can do better.  I think I can get some
celeb chick AND I KNOW that she’ll be annoying and awful, and totally
lifeless and my girl now is better. But it’s the ego, the adventure
and the thrill of the hunt. Its so you get that rush of adrenaline
when you kiss a girl for the first time, and the next morning you can
look in the mirror and say “GOOD STUFF” and the kid version of you
high fives the 29 year old version of yourself. Warren Beaty slept his
way to Annette Bening and she seems fucking awesome. Bill Mahr doesn’t
have a wife cause he is sharper without one. Spielberg married young,
divorced when he got famous and married some actresses from his movie
at the height of his powers.  its just animal.

Going ahead in the future, you should protect yourself as much as you
can before you are comfortable enough to open up. Your lesson about
guys who come on strong is right, they are usually overcompensating
for something. Be a cynic but be open and don’t become a man hater.
Even though what he did was selfish and shitty, he was sweet and
tender and truly cared about you, but love sucks when it’s one sided,
and that is why you should try to avoid it at all costs until you find
someone who is ready to travel that road to its ultimate conclusion, a
singular relationship with a person to be fully committed to.

is this it? modern love:

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dear alexi,

I am feeling a need to share this with someone and i thought you might
be the one to talk to about it. i asked a straight male friend to
share his honest perspective on my life’s recent events. What he
revealed was enlightening and honest.

he writes:

I just have an ego, insecurity, and a taste for the unknown, guys wanna
fuck and feel masculine and it gets boring and it’s not the girls
fault. Europeans have mistresses, mafia guys too. It makes sense. You
have your love, your partner, the one who you share your life with,
the everyday friend and last phone call and cuddle buddy on the couch
to iron chef with and then you have some extra physical on the side to
keep you from resenting that love. Plus if he’s surrounded by
opportunity all the time, he will want to take it. If nothing else you
should be happy that he didn’t lie about being with someone and
continue the charade.

It’s all about him and NOT you. His deficiencies, his insecurities,
NOT YOURS. You are better than him: hot and funny and weird and
original and smarter than the rest. But don’t kid yourself, the no
labels thing was not what you wanted… you let him have that cause
you wanted him.  Even though I now find myself in a scenario where and
am dating a girl exclusively, I don’t feel anywhere near done having
meaningless sexual escapades with strange girls.  I don’t know why
not, maybe cause my dad gave me Henry Millers “Quiet Days in Clichy”
when I was 14 to read… I’m just ready to give it a rest for now. And
he didn’t want that cause he’s not ready to be DONE and that has
NOTHING to do with you.

**Then I asked him, what is the solution to this ongoing problem?**

he writes:

There are mistresses. There is Mormonism. There are people in loveless
marriages that work out of financial convenience. There are people who
stay together for the sake of their kids. There are men who just give
up the sex to have a mother/wife. The issue is: the guys you are
attracted to have ego and ambition and that usually goes hand and hand
with sexual prowess. You could find a nerd who has never been with a
girl and you could take on the role of aggressor. You could find a
lonely heart who is SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU. YOU’RE A CATCH. But you know
what they say “find me a beautiful girl and i’ll show you a guy who’s
tired of fucking her”.  Leo dumped Giselle…I mean we’re f’d…

(to be continued……..)

Alexi Wasser is ‘BOYCRAZY’:

Boy Crazy Promo from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy in bed from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy at the drugstore: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy waking up in echo park from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy gets a job: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy bikini mishap: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

stupid gets ready: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy in austin!

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so, for whatever reason, i was in Austin for LITERALLY 24 hours. in that time, i ran ALL around town and met a slew of dudes. here are three of the slew.

a long time ago, i would have liked the bad boy the most. i would have gone out of my way to make him ‘choose me’ or think i was better than the rest. gross. even though he’s adorable, they all are, thank god I’m growing up. I’m changing. and nowadays, a man-boy like the one in the last video is my favorite and has the qualities i look for in a possible boyfriend. enjoy! xo

ps: I’m angry and disappointed in myself for not writing more these past few weeks. even if it didn’t bother anyone else, it bothered me! next week i will strike the perfect balance of blb’s, boy videos, and stories. hmm, but i do have some super/awesome/great reader submissions to post too. shit. well, er, um, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I’M TRYING TO DO MY BEST HERE! I’M JUST ONE PERSON- NOT A WIZARD-LIKE MACHINE ROBOT! A PERSON!i love you. xo

boycrazy in austin: the nerdy chic guy from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy in austin: the bad boy! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy in austin: marriage material! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

the blind leading the blind (part 26):

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1. try not to be such a cunt. This isn’t exclusive to women.

2. try not to reveal all your weaknesses to everyone you know. This is what your shrink is for.

3. it’s totally ok to hate dogs. Just, keep it to yourself/a low pro- you jerky dog hater. Don’t be too grumpy about it, and definitely don’t kick them or anything. but telling someone ‘I don’t want to hold, pet, touch, or be near your dog.’ – is totally fine! that’s what I do! and people love it!

4. just because it’s cold out, doesn’t mean you can stop waxing your vadge you monster!

5. read ‘love junkie‘! it’s a totally great book about love addiction/Rachel Resnick’s memoir. trust me, and just get it!

6. stop being such a racist! racist! everybody’s talking about it. we ALL know.

7. wear make-up. you’re definitely uglier without it. Even if you’re perfect (whatever that means), throw on some mascara- it can’t HURT/you won’t regret it.

8. don’t fake tan. Ever.

9. think positive thoughts. Not HIV positive thoughts, just good vibe thoughts.

10. don’t smell perfume being sold in a parking lot. this is a scam. it will make you black out and be raped. Somewhere a legitimate parking lot perfume vendor is shaking his fists at me and wishing me dead! but better to be safe than sorry! xo

ps: my lovely intern Kendra sent me this quote from the movie ’2 days in paris’ – i love it/think you should read it. it’s about the endless search for love and the cycle of the search. xo

“Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I’ll never see him again like this… well yes, I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we’ll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There’s a moment in life where you can’t recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else’s kisses.”

tonight- party time:

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contest! can you beat this?

last week i asked boys, via twitter and facebook, to make a video- attempting to woo me! this is the first video i got! now I’m extending the invitation/dare to anyone and everyone who reads my blog:

i wanna see your best attempt at wooing a girl, and by girl- i mean me! give it a go! don’t be a pussy!

videos will be featured on my site and winners will get a prize! this guy did it, and it was epic! i laughed, i cried, i shook my fist! if you think you can do better, send me a vid! i love you and look forward to being wooed. xo

ps: if you want to contact the guy in this video, click HERE! xo

reader submission- how to fall in love:

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Hey Alexi!

I was at this website: http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm and it was talking about all the chemicals released when becoming attracted to someone. At the bottom, I noticed a little experiment, and since you’re a fellow aquarian I figured you would be interested in this little study. Maybe you could try it, or get others to try this on your blog to see if it works!

How to Fall in Love:

1. Find a complete stranger.
2. Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
3. Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

x
Jonathan

TONIGHT- GO TO THIS:

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the blind leading the blind (part 25):

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1. don’t party/socialize your life away. this is a very possible danger and should be avoided at all costs. there will always be another party. so pick and choose wisely. even though it might seem boring, nerdy, quiet, or uneventful- sometimes the most important things you do are when you’re at home, by yourself; making stuff, working, thinking, daydreaming, reading, coming up with/having ideas/thoughts, writing, etc.

2. if the most exciting sensation your vagina has had lately -is when you slowly pulled out a super long rogue hair that somehow ended up in there, there’s a problem! it’s time to meet a dude and have a sexy-time rendezvous.

3. buy a sturdy bed frame. FYI- you can’t find one at ikea! That’s for damn sure.

4. start setting ALL your friends up on blind dates!

5. this could be a cruel rumor- but I heard men have feelings too sometimes or whatever. It could be a vague lie, but i just thought I’d put it out there as a POSSIBILITY.

6. hey, remember water? Me neither! but I heard we should totally start drinking like a LOT of it!

7. stop thinking stuff about other people and not telling them. Don’t be a two faced person who avoids confrontation. When done correctly- confrontation can be a GREAT thing. It clears the air. So, cut it out and stop being such a pussy.

8. don’t forget: Never let people have power over you. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat people with respect- especially if they’re a boss or something- but never let someone hurt you deep down in your core. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than or as if the air they breathe is more valuable than the air you breathe. the truth is: we all just come out of someones vagina. Unless it’s a c section, or a stork delivery or whatever, but you get what I’m saying. We’re all coming from the same place. Except for the stork baby- cuz they ARE on a whole other level!

9. for the dudes: stop trying to stick your dick in a girls vadge without wearing a condom! she could have a disease! it’s 2009! this is real! we have to be careful! but every dude plays that game of ‘how far can i go? what will she let me get away with?but you should wear a condom for your own well being! for serious!

10. don’t buy cereal! you know you can’t NOT eat the whole box in one sitting! Why test yourself? you’ll lose every time!

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PS: tomorrow night I’m hosting a party with the dim mak family in hollywood calornia! 6365 hollywood blvd. la ca 90028. 10pm – 2am! free vodka from 10-11pm! 21+ and $5 at the door! I’ll be interviewing party goers (maybe even you) while my interns are giving out free imboycrazy buttons and stickers! yayzers! it’s a record release party for fischerspooner! so, please come and let’s have a super awesome dance party! woo hoo! photos by the cobrasnake too even! wheee! dj sets by fischerspooner, them jeans, and dan oh! can’t wait to see you and hug! xo



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