the blind leading the blind (part 33):

1. when you press the button at a cross walk, don’t stand under the signal while you’re waiting for the light to change! be careful! The signal thingy could/might TOTALLY fall on your head. life is constantly scary… whether you WANT to know it or not!

2. yes, you need to go to the gym. no, not YOUYOU. yeah, you!

3. own your package. Whatever it is you’ve been dealt, own it. unfortunately, it’s all you’ve got.

4. i hate when people don’t just say ‘excuse me’, if/when I’m in their way. I obviously can’t see you. Duh! What if I never looked over and saw you? Would you stand there FOREVER, just looking at me all mute styles, with your passive aggressive/dumb dumb face/blank stare? WHY? what is the point of this? it doesn’t get the one thing you want from me accomplished- you fucking cunt-rag/twat fuck jerk! so say excuse me people! it’s OK! Jesus fucking Christ!

5. you can’t tell a person/help a person who doesn’t want your help. A person who has not yet wrapped his head around the concept of doing something that might be beneficial for their life, MUST figure it out on their own/at their own pace. This is out of your hands! and as frustrating as this is to watch, you have to let it go! YOU can only take care of YOU!

6. FYI: dudes hate when you wear those weird hippy headbands! You’re not an American Indian, and it’s not 1964. Save your money.

7. getting herpes from a famous person is WAY cooler than getting herpes from a regular person.

8. find the happy medium between predator and wallflower, and i think you’re gonna be OK!

9. no chewing/chomping gum in public.

10. don’t keep the pink slip for your car IN your car! A cop told me that.

PS: if you’re not watching ‘kell on earth’ every Monday night on bravo at 10pm…… i don’t know what’s wrong with you. will somebody please tell kelly Cutrone how much i love her? it’s the new best thing on TV!

PPS: that is, until ‘the real housewives of nyc’ returns! hollah!

PPPS: what does everyone think of ‘how to make it in america’? just wondering.

i love you! xo, me

JASON BOESEL…..IS COMING SOON:

coming soon: an in depth interview with JASON BOESEL. we’ll be chatting about his new album, dating, love, sex, and everything else! he is worth the wait, so stay tuned. xo

in the name of love/response to my bullshit (part 4):

wow, i’m gonna end the week on a high note! this is Sophie. Sophie seems just as confused AND sure as i am on this topic: what is love? and does it last?!

i want to apologize in advance if i have anything to do with this beautiful four year old, self proclaimed ‘it girl’ becoming boycrazy in the future. do as i say, not as i do Sophie! wait, don’t even do THAT! remember; i am the blind leading the blind!

all i have to say is: i hope you have a GREAT weekend/valentine’s day! whether you’re just breaking up with someone, binge eating alone in a corner, masturbating while your long term ‘whatever he is’ is sound asleep next to you in your hovel, newly in love, or just snagged a date off craigslist/face-book …. enjoy! you’ve earned it!

and yes, I’m totally encouraging you to see the movie ‘valentines day’! what?! it just looks fun! stop being such a snob! you’re reading some piece of shit b l o g called i’m boy crazy! which Elle magazine referred to as ‘i AM boy crazy‘ (shakes fist…why i outta)!

anyways, kill a bear, kiss a dude, go dancing with your gay boyfriends! i don’t give a fuck! but don’t chalk this Feb 14 up to some holiday manufactured by the card companies….even though we know it is! use it as an excuse to dress cute/slutty/or just not be your usual ugly! cut a piece of paper into the shape of a heart! eat a piece of candy! JUST a piece fatty! makeout with someone or everyone!  watch a bunch of amazing rom coms! think of the colors pink and red! buy some flowers! and maybe someone will buy YOU flowers! wouldn’t 2 dozen pink tea roses just be a dream?! i know!!! wheeee!

personally, I’m being whisked off by some tall handsome man, who’s super sexy, to a top secret/special/romantical place for the weekend. hopefully i won’t be murdered…at least not until AFTER all the  sex!! i’ll let you know how it goes!

and to all the people who submitted videos that I’ve YET to put up… don’t worry, i will! i just had to stop the monotony of the same ‘video post response’ theme! see you Monday! xoxoxox/LOVE, alexi celine wasser

happy birthday to me:

hey alexi!

it’s god! i know you’re like TOTALLY not religious or whatevs, but (in celebration of the day you were born) i just thought I’d drop you a line and say happy birthday! i heard you wanted some stuff! let me double check; is this your most up to date wish-list?

1. fluffy white bath robe and towels that make you feel all diva fancy, like Bette midler/Cher/and Madonna combined.

2. a brand new car that would make people forget you were ever capable of owning a scion. yes, i know: NOT the box shaped on, the WASHING MACHINE shaped one!

3. a personal trainer five days a week!

4. a deep tissue massage. but not the scary kind where a mini, mean lady actually WALKS on your back! too scary!

5. a manicure and pedicure.

6. a day at the Olympic spa – steaming and reading.

7. dinner at mozza, nobu Malibu, sushi Ike, cliffs edge, pace, park sushi, matsuhisa, il sole, madeo’s, chateau, pacific dining car. (NOT all on the same night!)

8. lunch at m cafe, m cafe, and m cafe.

9. lattes and coffee ALL THE TIME.

10. a yoga class and hike with Nate.

11. hanging out with Nate at family.

12. a facial (not THAT kind) at raya skincare: with the works! deep cleaning facial with extractions + microdermabrasion + oxygen facial.

13. a deep peel or laser treatment at dermo.

14. an unlimited shopping spree at opening ceremony, confederacybarneys, Fred segal, Chanel, American rag, and apc.

15. a romantic date with a gorgeous guy during which you laugh, are happy, super attracted to each other, have amazing conversation, and fantastic sexxx!

16. all your good dreams coming true!

17. a years supply from an organic fresh food meal delivery service! hollah! livin’ like a baller!

18. brand new blackberry with video AND photo capability.

19. a classic tailored burberry trench-coat.

20. more banner ads on your site from companies you love and respect.

21. a trip to NYC to visit friends and bacaro!

22. a weekend ski trip.

23. a weekend trip to Santa Barbara/big sur/Vegas/Berlin/Venice/Rome.

24. a trip to we care spa.

25. world peace.

wow, what a list you greedy bitch! (except for the world peace part).

well, at least i know that if you don’t get any of it, you’re happy with your life/you love your friends/and you enjoy writing this stupid blog…even if nobody reads it/cares/or even likes you! but I’ll send what i can to:

alexi wasser

po box 480876

la ca 90048

lots of love,

GOD: the original boy to be crazy about!

in the name of love/response to my bullshit (part 3):

you guys are amazing!

here are two MORE answers to my question:

ps: my name is alexi NOT alexis…. but i still love you!

PS: A MESSAGE FROM MY FRIEND BINKI SHAPIRO

hello!

my name is binki shapiro,
i play in a band called little joy. i’m here to tell you about an auction i’m doing consisting of one of a kind shirts, bags and artwork made by artists/musicians specifically for the auction.

after the auction, i will donate the proceeds to an amazing organization, started by paul haggis, called ‘artists for peace and justice’.

they are one of the few organizations that cover all their own overhead and donate 100% of all funds raised to directly to relief efforts on the ground and to long term sustainability in haiti.

i have a ton of really cool pieces so far; made by artists including: conor oberst, the strokes, fleet foxes, jenny lewis, spike jonze, the mars volta, devendra banhart, norah jones, no doubt, natalie portman, sia, adam green, regina spektor, le tigre and vampire weekend, etc. with more cool stuff on the way!

i have created a “hype page” for the auction, which will be held on monday march 15th.
for details and updates on where the auction will take place, please continue to check my site and/or follow me on twitter! xo

in the name of love/response to my bullshit (part 2):

In celebration of valentine’s day, this entire week is dedicated to the discussion of:

1. whether or not love lasts.

2. what people think love should be.

and

3. what people think love is.

i started posting your responses to my question last week.

here are two more answers to my question:

BE MY FRIEND…. (THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET)!

I’d be kuh-razy not to be this girls friend! she’s adorable and knows how to make a fast paced, entertaining video! i love you grrrl! xo, me

the blind leading the blind (part 32):

1. in case you were wondering: it’s better to have people think you’re doing cocaine in a toilet stall, than have them think you’re ACTUALLY going to the bathroom for realz. whatever that means, cuz girls do not do that. they just don’t. next topic please!

2. who came up with darts? Throwing sharp/scary/pointy things all drunky?! No way!

3. tapping along to a dumb song means you’re dumb. Case closed.

4. Just because a person is good-looking doesn’t mean it’s enough to keep you interested. take that YOU SHALLOW JERK!

5. ugly people are the WORST! riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightttt?!

6. if you and the guy you’re dating are sitting at a table and both on your phones- a good reply to people judging you harshly, as they walk by, would be ‘were not unhappy, were just multitasking! ya nosey bum!’

7. if she’s old enough to cross the street, she’s old enough to get hit. you do the math. Thug life. Peace.

8. wearing really dirty, worn in keds COULD give people the impression that you’re homeless.

9. if you see a girl sitting alone at whole foods, go up and say hello. Tell her she’s beautiful. you really have nothing to lose. She could be the girl of your dreams. Or at least possibly the best sex you’ve ever had! maybe even both! Hurry! She’s getting away!

10. people aren’t single forever dum dums. Seize your op when you can! Cuz the good ones aren’t on the market for long! that’s for damn sure!

in the name of love/response to my bullshit (part 1):

an answer to my question:

so, here’s the first response I’m posting- one of many amazing videos i received from boys AND girls!

i was completely confused and searching for- i don’t even know what! maybe hope/reassurance that love can last forever…..and/or, even if it doesn’t, that it’s worth just taking the chance for!

keep checking in to see if your video’s up next! i love you.

ps: i can’t believe all the boys that sent in video responses! very cool of you dudes. uuber brave. the girls are gonna FREAK OUT!

pps: valentine’s day is just around the bend!

xo, acw


RESPONSE TO THE MONSTER ASKS ABOUT LOVE: from Erik Stinson on Vimeo.

the monster asks you about love- please help:

THE MONSTER ASKS ABOUT LOVE: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.



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