tonight on kxlu 88.9fm los angeles:

0003E8EB-5B5C-11F3-85A180BFB6FA0000

tonight from 10pm-midnight!

i’ll be a guest on 88.9 fm los angeles/kxlu’s ‘noise pollution’ with chris and carl!

2 dudes, and me! fully clothed, the whole time, but lots of flirting and sexual inuendos! this is gonna be epic.

tonight (saturday) from 10pm-midnight!

we’ll be taking phone calls ala loveline styles! call in and say hello, ask a question, tell me stuff, get love advice, sex advice, whatevs!

just dial 310 338-5958

i love you!

part 2- the blind leading the blind (part 30) special ‘happy new year’ edition:

2652_1123153240233_1269154293_30361839_741294_n

10. for the BOYS who want to be MEN:

learn to be the ultimate man! listen, i know there’s a time and a place for everybody and everything. and it takes a while for dudes to grow the fuck up/man up/know who they are. so, when you do decide that you love a girl/want a girl in a major way/know you’ve met a girl that means something to you/she’s a special mission to be accomplished, who makes your heart beat faster and intrigues you… you need to cut the bullshit dude and step it the fuck up! because there are guys out there who are just as sexy as you, just as funny, with great style…. but they’ve got you beat! cuz they have game; imagination, money, a personality, likability, and follow through. men who are reliable, trustworthy, great in bed, handsome, successful, masters at what they do. men who are patient, warm, and kind; who make a woman feel like a woman!

dudes, you have to be aware that it’s a war zone out there! this is battle (same for girls, but I’m talking to the dudes right now!) great girls are hard to come by. a connection is hard to come by. getting the attention of the girl you have a crush on can be difficult when there are other dudes out there making you look super lame-o/bad/not as good/inferior/chump like. Marilyn Monroe said it simply in gentleman prefer blonds: ‘it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man, as a poor man.’ and I’m not just talking about rich in the financial sense. i mean, that’s rad too, duh! but what i mean is- rich in character, depth, who has the ability to sweep a woman off her feet!

dude’s, if you wanna win the girl; the best girls, the hottest girls who aren’t just hot- but who are successful in their own right, stylish, in fantastic physical shape, beautiful, interesting, quick witted, smart, charming, funny, confidant, great kissers, sexy, nasty in bed, your best friend, bad ass, creative, AND amazing arm candy that makes you proud, with an epic life of their own, and brings a lot to bring to the table: you have to up your mother fucking game and be the best! because, let me tell you, these girls have their pick! and if you wanna be in the race… you have to grow the fuck up! lose the loser/ego maniacal- attitude and bravado! i mean, you live in a dirty shit-hole and are a narcissist asshole! you don’t have a career or clean pants! you don’t hold the door and you’re mean! do you think Giselle would date you? or Cindy Crawford- then OR now? FUCK NO! not at all! probably not. and by probably, i mean ‘definitely no‘.

watch a James bond movie and don’t just start drinking martini’s. in fact STOP drinking altogether bone-head! and stop smoking pot too, while your at it! you can be tough (brave), strong (muscly), and watch porn (not too much though, please) and be a great man… but being a stealth, sexy, suave dude- with crazy amazing seduction skills, who loves to seduce women, make them cum, feel happy, and safe because he genuinely likes her and wants to do that…. is way cooler! and no dick pic’ing please. get some game!

I’m not saying ‘game’ in the sense that you should mind fuck a girl into making her feel sooooo confused and low that she’s a weak little bitch wrapped around your finger. no, asshole! you don’t have to ‘neg’ her to death with stupid games and back handed compliments. it’s OK to tell her she’s beautiful if you think she’s beautiful. women LIKE that. at least the healthy ones do, who can accept compliments and are in a good place mentally and emotionally. don’t pander to her, but don’t be a dick for the sole purpose of being a dick either! hold the door, open the car door, hold her hand, kiss her in public. you should be with her cuz you’re proud and happy to be with her. and if this is the case- show it, make her know it. women want to be made feel safe, loved, and protected- whether they know it or not. they are also smart and won’t put up with your bullshit either. sometimes a girl is fucking you, and thinking about how she would never marry you because you bring nothing to the table. to her, you are a guilty pleasure behind closed doors. you may think you played her, and are getting under her skin… but the truth is.. you’re not good enough for her. and she’ll find out soon. when she meets a man that reveals what a boy you were. with all your bullshit, you blew it. and you thought you were being so cool. grow the fuck up dude. and get a job while you’re at it; you skinny, boring, couch surfer. we see you! BTW, personalities are cool too. get one this year! 2010 is all about possibilities! you can do it! make the transition; from a chump to a champ!

so, if you like a girl- be direct and don’t play games (shit, that’s almost the ultimate game, because it’s so rare). make her proud to be on your arm, make her think…. correction: SHOW HER that other dudes are nothing compared to you (show this with your behavior, not just your words). be an example that makes other couples crumble and fall to the wayside. don’t be desperate, but be direct. you don’t need to ignore and push and pull and dick her around because you think that’s what she likes. if that’s the shit she likes, she’s probably a nut case and you should both be in therapy. you should both be in therapy in general. therapy is great! ps: along with all this shit i’m telling you- a real connection and meeting one other at exactly the right time in each others lives is crucial for a relationship to work! just thought i should throw that in.

if you’re cute and cool, she likes you. duh! and when you know she likes you, (trust your gut) lay it down! be a man! make power moves. pay for fucking dinner. get a hotel room, carry her over the threshold. be fucking direct. tell her you like her, call her, don’t just text like a coward. if you two ARE texting, respond to her text. you don’t have to wait an hour and play games. you can keep your cool, hold your cards close, keep some mystery, be strong, calm, cool, collected….and honestly open at the same time. walk around like you have the biggest dick in the world; as if you could club any dude who approached her to death with this huge d i c k of yours. even if you don’t (this is annoying though- cuz an attitude like that is confusing to girls when they eventually do get your pants off and it’s a tiny nubbin. but that’s not your fault, you were born like that. and you totally deserve to breathe and fuck girls and get off and exist on this earth too. you just better be great at oral sex/finger-blasting/sensual seduction foreplay-mid play-and after play!) it also helps if you dress well, are attractive, aren’t stupid, are funny, and have a great job that makes your insides smile and puts a wad of money in your bullet proof safe which is hidden deep inside your mansion on a hill.) don’t be too eager. be stable and cool. have your life and make room in it for her. if you sense you need to back off cuz she’s stressed, do it. it’s all a dance. there’s time. be cool- not passive aggressive, mean/cool-no! be a silent stallion ‘i have a life cool.’ like the sexy man rock you are. and at the same time, you must always know your worth. don’t put up with a girl who treats you like shit either, cuz that just makes you look lame too! but, I’m telling you. if you’re as cool as the stand up guy I’m describing, when you meet a girl who’s sane- she’ll treasure you and know how lucky she is. she might even offer to pay for YOUR coffee or macro burger at m cafe. good luck boys! i hope i see you on the other side. don’t blow it. being  a man is an art-form! i love you! xo

ps: my facebook won’t accept any more friend requests. so, if you’re waiting to be approved, or want to friend me: click HERE or the fanpage icon on the right! xo

the blind leading the blind (part 30)- special ‘happy new year’ edition:

13552_215673240268_554960268_4702791_1153850_n

we did it! it’s totally 2010 bitch ass muthah-fuckahs! i hope you didn’t make too many embarrassing mistakes on new years eve/ like ending the night throwing up in your own bathtub (while you were in it) like i did last year! this year i changed it up, and decided not to drink. i didn’t wanna start the new year all hungover and hazy. and you know what?…. because i didn’t drink, and had zero expectations; it ended up being the best new years eve of my entire life. no joke! it was epic! (i made out with four boys in one night! my mouth was like a human petri dish! on new years eve, all bets are off!) but that’s a post in itself, down the road. I’ve learned not to be too raw, too soon from past posts. i need a bit of a buffer.

so what the fuck are we gonna do to ensure that 2010 is the most fan-fucking-tastic epic year yet? I’ll tell you! bam, boom, pow!

let’s get our shit together people:

1. burn sage- clear out your zone; home, work, locker, car, anywhere/everywhere!

2. shave your fucking legs bitches. what are you, a feral dog?! yowzers!

3. wear make-up! please! a little goes a long way. i really don’t think it would kill you to even out your skin tone and slap on some eyeliner and/or mascara!

4. stop drinking (i guarantee, you’ll lose 10 pounds of bloat!)

5. you need to exercise. yeah….. YOU! (i say, as i look at myself in the mirror.)

6. don’t do heroin! is it the mid nineties? cuz, last I checked, it was 2010. i know doc martins are back, but this is re-donkulous! heroin is totally lame and bad for you and will make you dead. for reals. heroin is in no way, shape, or form endorsed by imboycrazy.com at all! so cut that the fuck out! yeah, it’ll make you skinny, PLUS smell bad, AND super retard boring. but by the time you’re in a coffin, you won’t even notice!

7. treat people the way you want to be treated! i fuck up and don’t always live by this rule, but at least when i fuck up, i remember my behavior that I’m not proud of and i try not to repeat it! we’re always given opportunities to repeat the same mistakes. it’s like the universe is testing us. and when we learn and choose not to repeat those mistakes again and again… it’s like we passed the test!

8. use a fucking condom! are you serious? with aids, warts, herpes, chlamydia, hpv, gonorrhea, unwanted pregnancies that result in getting an abortion/having a miscarriages/putting a baby in a dumpster OR WORSE letting that baby be born, etc…..  stop having unprotected sex! just because he’s a goody goody white boy wearing apc who claims he’s ‘clean’ while trying to stick it in you saying ‘i hate condoms, they’re so annoying, i don’t have anything (in regard to virus/disease/or condoms). shhhh, i really like you. (kiss, kiss.), blah blah blah….’ doesn’t mean it’s true! plus; the dude should be worried about what diseases your nasty vadge hole is holding hostage. the definition of ‘girl’ isn’t: clean and made out of candy. (i mean, mostly it is, but not ALL the time).

9. everyone, please do this:

figure out what you love doing the most;

painting, writing, fucking dudes, dancing, math, science, helping people, dating, matchmaking, blogging, typing, giving birth, organizing shit, cooking, eating, juggling fire, hypnotizing strangers, talking, thinking, listening, fixing stuff, picking zits (ie: esthetician), arranging, working at a flower store, taking over the world, politics, law, being a doctor, gardening, flipping houses, designing clothes, drawing, throwing parties, collecting stickers, being bossy, opening a gallery, taking photos, building websites, dj’ing, mediating, solving problems, drinking coffee, flirting, babysitting, massage, selling stuff, reading, making stuff, advising people, singing, whatevs, a desk job, retail, repeating yourself….whatever! just get really honest with yourself and admit what it is that makes you wanna wake up early in the morning to do it!

and then, ACTUALLY do it!

THEN figure out how to makes lots of money doing just THAT!

(to be continued)


the guy on the bike:

7823_176409811809_511566809_3764140_7496077_n

there is a guy in my neighborhood that I’ve never spoken to, never met- who bikes around town and has almost caused me to crash my car on several occasions. but still not as many times as that Eva Mendes calvin klein ad on sunset. Jesus. i have a feeling I’m slowly turning bisexual. Lately I can’t stop dressing like Ellen Degeneres; white keds, sweaters, button down shirts. what the hell does it all mean?!

Anyways, back to the bike dude- He’s got that harmony korine look, only taller and younger- sorry harmony. Fuck he’s hot as fuck! I’d make out with him if he was gay (and would have me), had mouth herpes, or was hiv positive even! I’m not saying that I think I’d be able to contract HIV from JUST a make out! no! what i MEAN is; I’d make out with the dude and take the chance of getting close enough to KNOW him, bond with him, strike up a friendship, becoming a major part of, and entangled in his REAL life- thereby leaving ME with the responsibility of taking care of him during his final days. that’s how cute he is! cute enough that i would risk being his sole caretaker in his critical time of need.

that being said, i might never meet him…. and that’s fine too. because that boy/guy/man/dude is more than just a babe on a bike in jeans, white sneakers, a button down shirt, and a red crew neck sweater/pullover- or sometimes that really sexy, thin, sweaty, white, fifty cotton/fifty poly t shirt. no! he’s symbolic of something bigger! he’s a beacon of hope! a reminder that there is always the possibility of love, lust, or a crush… just around the corner- who could whizzzzz by, out of nowhere. even in the form of a dude on a bike. good-luck. i love you.

PS: you can never get enough life advice from my bff nate! watch him school me with his words of wisdom…….

Advice from NATE: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

Advice from Nate – PART 2: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

an open letter to sean ‘diddy’ combs:

p_diddy

Dear Mr. P. Diddy,
My name is Alexi Wasser and this is my silly website. i like to think of it as a contribution, but that’s just me. this letter is a precursor to a dream come true. One day soon, I’d like to interview you! And when that day comes, there’s a strong chance you might fall in love with me, which I am totally open to….. maybe even excited about!

I heard you’re in a relationship, so I don’t wanna come on too strong- but I’d be doing you a disservice if i didn’t tell you that i think you’re a sexy babe fox! Yeah, you heard me: As cute as a baby fox! I really enjoy all of your inspiring reality shows that not only encourage people to dream big, but gives them a chance to have those dreams come true. Your straight face/TOTALLY intimidating persona is a turn on in a major way. or maybe they just tug on the strings connected to my daddy issues! who knows! who cares! this is just me, talking to you! in a dream bubble if you will. let’s not psycho analyze, it’ll kill the mood.

I don’t know if you even like white girls, and even if you do- if you’d like a Tim Burton/nightmare before Christmas character-esque blogger girl with a leggo haircut. But I’m selling myself short. I’m all that and more! i promise; if we were to date, I’d let you (how do you say) ‘turn me out’? and together, we’d take the world by storm! I’d be your tall white girlfriend and you’d be my black/power playing/mogul/sex god! We wouldn’t even have to explain this to the public- cuz they’d see it for themselves. I’m very tall, and very white. there’d be no way to miss us!

I will work on turning my flat bum into a bangin’ ass butt! I will drop it down low and bring it up slow. I will wear only white to all your white parties. I will make you proud. And even if our rendezvous is a quick tryst- it will be epic! Our pillow talk will be adorable. Me, with my sarcasm, witty banter, self deprecating/effacing/charming nonsense! I’ll ask you questions about business and look deep into your eyes (so often shielded by expensive designer shades), and believe everything and anything you say- simply because you’re: P Diddy, Puff, Diddy, Sean Combs, Sean John, Mr. Combs, A stellar stud!

If you were my manz, I would squeeze you tight and tell you about obscure indie bands you’ve never heard of. Not that you need me to do that for you. I’m sure you have people for that. I mean, after all, you do have a show about people wanting to work for you.

Bottom line: you are a babe. I bet you have a 12 pack tummy tum. I want to squeeze your muscles and look into your eyes- the windows to the/your soul. i would even write a rap for you, if you were too tired to write one yourself and the record label was breathing down your neck about deadlines! You don’t even have to give me credit. It’ll be our little secret. one of many, i hope.

I’ll take a pole dancing class for you even! if that’s what you’d like. I say that only because I’ve seen a lot of mtv’s cribs episodes and got the impression that successful dudes, like yourself, enjoy stripper poles and a woman with know how on those poles (better to be safe than sorry) NOT because you’re black and I’m suggesting that black dudes are the only dudes who like girls on a pole. Not at all. i thought we were closer than that. how dare you!

Anyway, this is how I feel. So, I’ll leave it at that.

and if you’re NOT into it, and by ‘it’ i mean me….. will you at least set me up with snoop, kanye, mos, eminem, lil wayne, a laker, drake, or someone else as sexy/mogul-y/and god like as you?

Lot’s of love, Alexi

aka: boycrazy

aka: a-dubs

aka: the lex-meister

aka: diddy’s girl?

my AWESOME friend- DALLAS CLAYTON:

Awesome Book Tour from Dallas Clayton on Vimeo.

this is the only thing I’m giving people for Christmas this year! you should do the same! click HERE to purchase an awesome book, read an awesome book, and/or learn more about the awesome world foundation! happy Christmas eve! i love you! xo

ps: i know it’s Christmas eve, and i should have mentioned it sooner…. but if you order now, you’ll at least have it for birthdays, valentine’s day, and/or next Christmas! just buy it! xo

MERRY CHRISTMAS:

a spaz-tastic christmas message from imboycrazy! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

i’m okay! the results are in, and i’m healthy!

1039ShoeSwitch3186Web

my biopsies came back negative!  I’m cancer free! wooooo hooo! thank you so much to everyone who wrote me, called me, text me, lit candles in my health’s honor, and sent me good thoughts in general! you really made me feel loved and supported! i can’t tell you how much it meant, just knowing that you were worried/cared at all! i love you, i love you, i love you. happy holidays. this Christmas, I’ll be lighting a candle or 10, and sending my love to you!

the blind leading the blind part 29:

harmony1

1. you don’t need jdate, match, or nerve.com if you’re on facebook. trust me!

2. making out with your ex is totally OK! It’s like a super special activity that exists in an alternate universe, where time and space don’t matter; a blip into the ether that only pertains to the two people involved.

3. if no one else is buying you flowers, buy yourself flowers.

4. just because someone leaves the room, doesn’t mean you have to talk shit about them. But if you MUST, waiting until they leave + 10 seconds is the way to go.

5. sometimes I grip my steering wheel too tight and I get callouses. Try not to do this too.

6. crushes can consume you, and take a lot of energy. Make sure the person you have a crush on is worth the brain power!

7. if a dudes face smells like a girls privates when you kiss him- trust your instincts girlies: the dude’s a cheating, man-whore, skag annihilator!

8. if he doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to talk to you.

9. if he has a tattoo on his face, you can kiss him, but you can’t marry him.

10. pay attention to the red flags. They are always there and available for spotting immediately. Do yourself a favor and recognize them. HINDSIGHT doesn’t ALWAYS have to be 20/20. foresight can be 20/20 too, if you’re present and logical.

we met on facebook (the final chapter):

Richard-Gere---American-Gigolo-Photograph-C10104686

we had sex, duh.

he went back to new york.

and life goes on!

xo

(i’ll save the details for a later date….)



Page 71 of 93« First...102030...6970717273...8090...Last »