1. don’t party/socialize your life away. this is a very possible danger and should be avoided at all costs. there will always be another party. so pick and choose wisely. even though it might seem boring, nerdy, quiet, or uneventful- sometimes the most important things you do are when you’re at home, by yourself; making stuff, working, thinking, daydreaming, reading, coming up with/having ideas/thoughts, writing, etc.
2. if the most exciting sensation your vagina has had lately -is when you slowly pulled out a super long rogue hair that somehow ended up in there, there’s a problem! it’s time to meet a dude and have a sexy-time rendezvous.
3. buy a sturdy bed frame. FYI- you can’t find one at ikea! That’s for damn sure.
4. start setting ALL your friends up on blind dates!
5. this could be a cruel rumor- but I heard men have feelings too sometimes or whatever. It could be a vague lie, but i just thought I’d put it out there as a POSSIBILITY.
6. hey, remember water? Me neither! but I heard we should totally start drinking like a LOT of it!
7. stop thinking stuff about other people and not telling them. Don’t be a two faced person who avoids confrontation. When done correctly- confrontation can be a GREAT thing. It clears the air. So, cut it out and stop being such a pussy.
8. don’t forget: Never let people have power over you. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat people with respect- especially if they’re a boss or something- but never let someone hurt you deep down in your core. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than or as if the air they breathe is more valuable than the air you breathe. the truth is: we all just come out of someones vagina. Unless it’s a c section, or a stork delivery or whatever, but you get what I’m saying. We’re all coming from the same place. Except for the stork baby- cuz they ARE on a whole other level!
9. for the dudes: stop trying to stick your dick in a girls vadge without wearing a condom! she could have a disease! it’s 2009! this is real! we have to be careful! but every dude plays that game of ‘how far can i go? what will she let me get away with?but you should wear a condom for your own well being! for serious!
10. don’t buy cereal! you know you can’t NOT eat the whole box in one sitting! Why test yourself? you’ll lose every time!
PS: tomorrow night I’m hosting a party with the dim mak family in hollywood calornia! 6365 hollywood blvd. la ca 90028. 10pm – 2am! free vodka from 10-11pm! 21+ and $5 at the door! I’ll be interviewing party goers (maybe even you) while my interns are giving out free imboycrazy buttons and stickers! yayzers! it’s a record release party for fischerspooner! so, please come and let’s have a super awesome dance party! woo hoo! photos by the cobrasnake too even! wheee! dj sets by fischerspooner, them jeans, and dan oh! can’t wait to see you and hug! xo