I call these dudes “the thinkers”, cuz they’re all ‘thinky’ and stuff. see for yourself.
THE THINKER: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
the first boy is danny. he’s adorable, stylish, thinks deeply, and look at his hair! a treasure.
THE THINKER 2: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
So, it was Saturday. i had a long chat with a girlfriend about my life and my feelings and all that, went to trader joes and then i was at a standstill. how was i gonna spend the rest of my Saturday? there were so many possibilities! the weather was nice enough to go on a walk, but i had this overwhelming urge to stalk my friend NATE, who works at FAMILY- a totally hip store on Fairfax where cute dudes often hang out! so that’s what i did! i hung out there ALL FUCKING DAY! at one point, i remember saying “whew, I’m all tuckered out, mind if i use your chair?” and i sat behind NATE while he rung people up. i greeted people like a champ when they walked in. and when i saw a cute boy, i quickly gave him a sticker and asked to take him in the back room to do a quick video sesh. this entire week is dedicated/reserved for all the dudes i picked up,trolled, scoped, caught, met (whatever you wanna call it) at FAMILY….all on one glorious Saturday.
boycrazy at family – the bad boy: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
Before i launch into my story:
afterwords, i went to Chanel (i mean, i was already in beverly hills-why not?) to see if they had the jumbo/black/classic/lambskin purse with gold hardware. as i walked in, i passed a super tacky, albeit
uuber expensive yellow Ferrari parked outside. i don’t know why this upset me enough to roll my eye
Like a cherub sent from heaven, in the nick of time, to provide me with a blog post for today……….THERE WAS ED! after a long day doing a photo shoot for my facebook default pic, i met up with Brooke at m cafe (because it’s the place to be, we’re not savages and we have good taste) for an hours long girly chat about everything and nothing. it was great, no joke, the gossip was amazing! but, always in the back of my mind was the nagging fact that I HAD NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO POST TODAY! but god works in mysterious ways (why am i making so many god references in this entry? I’m not religious! oh well, who cares?)….and in walked a leather clad, haphazardly put together (in an ‘on purpose’ kind of way), shaggy haired guy I’d never laid eyes on: ED!
Ed: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
oh look! the lil cub has emerged from dream land! How nice. Last night, he wore himself out licking some babes areolas, caressing her bum, kissing her neck and taking his time sucking on her lower lip. Look at those tats (oh wait, you can’t see what i saw), those lips, that full head of hair! This dude’s never going bald! He looks sooooo Italian. Like if Robert Deniro and AL Pacino had a love child! Hollah! Why are mafioso movies so sexy? It’s like, this dude would show you how good he is at giving head, totally blow your mind, then blow your brains out! saying “arreviderchi” right before he sends you off to swim with the fishes! Mamma mia! Italian dudes are studs!
If you don’t have a sense of identity, DON’T worry about it! ALL you have to do is start dating as many guys as you can: all at once, or one after the other- your pick! and when they tell you about the stuff that they like:i.e. morrissey, cass mccombs, aphex twin, insert totally unknown or obscure band here- just pay attention! Listen for once in your goddamn life and take mental notes. Watch each and every one of your dudes when they hang out with their other male dude friends- and stash any good stories,jokes,man talk,bro sesh anecdotes,dude-isms,pop culture references in the pocket of your minds eye! Cuz when you break up with that guy, that bevy of newfound knowledge is in your ”attracting the next dude-arsenal”! It’s like we’re playing Zelda! Or super mario bros! Or better yet- d and d! Work it bitches! And NEVER EVER give credit to the previous dude! He’ll never know!!! This is called the college of life. Xo
What happened last night? I’ll tell you what happened! Last night, you got banged by some dude and you were totally boring in bed! I’m soooo disappointed in you! The only excuse for submissive sex is if you’re being raped! Otherwise, it is NOT an option! Plus, guys talk too you know, and you don’t wanna get a rep for being a lame dud in the sack! Do you?? Now’s not the time to worry about whether or not your bangs are perfectly straight. Now’s the time to get nasty! I’m not saying that you should let him stick it in your bum, cuz I actually DON’T advocate that. I’m just saying, don’t stop at GETTING fucked. You fuck him right back, you nasty bitch! Make noise if you want to, make whatever face you feel inclined to (shit, I hope it’s not super ugly-oh well, I say take the chance! How ugly could it be? If you’re reading this blog, it means you’re beautiful!) Get on top, on your side, on the bottom,69 (although my best dude friend once told me that 69′ing is the ultimate in intimate cuz it’s pretty much ass on face-yikes! That’s why I always say ‘carry baby wipes’-that way you don’t have to sacrifice in the sack!), get head/give head! Just wait for my mutual masturbation post! It’s gonna be detailed, personal,and RAD! So please! Don’t lay there like a lump! Even if you’re a beautiful lump! That is no excuse to be boring! Cuz if you’re crazy in bed, super nice to look at AND have a great personality……….YOU WIN!
2 things 1 dude doesn’t like: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
ps: hillhurst is a loud street!
opening party: vanessa prager and kathy grayson 7-10pm
The Beverly Center! The mall that sucked me into its fast paced, fluorescent lit vortex for 5 hours and didn’t even apologize! But why should you bev center? I was asking for it. After Christmas sales can be brutal! But my 2009 outfits are gonna be sweet! Today, I tried wearing a beret! Today, I tried wearing red lipstick! Today, i was a whole new me that only exists and CAN ONLY exist in the confines of the Beverly Center. it was super OK to try out a new look! and the tranny boys behind the MAC counter encouraged it! IT WAS EXHILARATING! gay dudes at Club Monaco called me ‘fierce’! me! they asked me where I came from! What a great day! 
Meandering about the mall, I saw so many cute boys! I’m not sure how many of them were straight, but I’m pretty sure at least one of them would have fucked me! And isn’t that all that really matters? h&m;, and forever 21 on the tip top floor of heaven on earth. an hour into my epic day, i ran into the guy I’m occasionally sleeping with! who cares that he didn’t love my neon lime beret and viva glam red lips? who invited him anyway?! this was no time for nay sayers and dream dashers! it was MY DAY! this was my castle! barbies dream house! and he wasn’t ken. he was an evil warlord from the wrong side of the tracks. we said our goodbyes. and i got a Starbucks.
I cruised h&m; for everything great! for some, my red lips were man magnets. a whole new breed of men that i don’t usually attract! i caught the eye of a very successful looking (based in nothing but how crisp and clean his outfit was), tall, classy looking, musician type-with a non embarrassing Mohawk (it kinda looked endearing). he was clearly in love with my vagina, but i HAD to leave, cuz i left my wallet at Starbucks-the one ACROSS the street at the Beverly connection, NOT the one on the top floor across from h&m.; don’t ask me why. but at least they had my wallet and i got in some cardio! I’ll never know what could have been with the Mohawk dude. he was gone by the time i got back. so i took off the beret, and i rubbed off my lipstick, and continued sleeping with that other dude, who will NEVER understand the ‘Beverly Center’ me.
Why did no one tell me that basketball is awesome???? i didn’t know shaggy haired dudes were allowed to play sports! if ANYONE reading this can get super great seats at a Lakers game and wouldn’t mind taking me and flirting with this dude, make it happen and we’ll have a blast! xo
