i wanna see your best attempt at wooing a girl, and by girl- i mean me! give it a go! don’t be a pussy!
videos will be featured on my site and winners will get a prize! this guy did it, and it was epic! i laughed, i cried, i shook my fist! if you think you can do better, send me a vid! i love you and look forward to being wooed. xo
ps: if you want to contact the guy in this video, click HERE! xo
I was at this website: http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm and it was talking about all the chemicals released when becoming attracted to someone. At the bottom, I noticed a little experiment, and since you’re a fellow aquarian I figured you would be interested in this little study. Maybe you could try it, or get others to try this on your blog to see if it works!
How to Fall in Love:
1. Find a complete stranger.
2. Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
3. Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.
1. don’t party/socialize your life away. this is a very possible danger and should be avoided at all costs. there will always be another party. so pick and choose wisely. even though it might seem boring, nerdy, quiet, or uneventful- sometimes the most important things you do are when you’re at home, by yourself; making stuff, working, thinking, daydreaming, reading, coming up with/having ideas/thoughts, writing, etc.
2. if the most exciting sensation your vagina has had lately -is when you slowly pulled out a super long rogue hair that somehow ended up in there, there’s a problem! it’s time to meet a dude and have a sexy-time rendezvous.
3. buy a sturdy bed frame. FYI- you can’t find one at ikea! That’s for damn sure.
4. start setting ALL your friends up on blind dates!
5. this could be a cruel rumor- but I heard men have feelings too sometimes or whatever. It could be a vague lie, but i just thought I’d put it out there as a POSSIBILITY.
6. hey, remember water? Me neither! but I heard we should totally start drinking like a LOT of it!
7. stop thinking stuff about other people and not telling them. Don’t be a two faced person who avoids confrontation. When done correctly- confrontation can be a GREAT thing. It clears the air. So, cut it out and stop being such a pussy.
8. don’t forget: Never let people have power over you. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat people with respect- especially if they’re a boss or something- but never let someone hurt you deep down in your core. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than or as if the air they breathe is more valuable than the air you breathe. the truth is: we all just come out of someones vagina. Unless it’s a c section, or a stork delivery or whatever, but you get what I’m saying. We’re all coming from the same place. Except for the stork baby- cuz they ARE on a whole other level!
9. for the dudes: stop trying to stick your dick in a girls vadge without wearing a condom! she could have a disease! it’s 2009! this is real! we have to be careful! but every dude plays that game of ‘how far can i go? what will she let me get away with?but you should wear a condom for your own well being! for serious!
10. don’t buy cereal! you know you can’t NOT eat the whole box in one sitting! Why test yourself? you’ll lose every time!
PS: tomorrow night I’m hosting a party with the dim mak family in hollywood calornia! 6365 hollywood blvd. la ca 90028. 10pm – 2am! free vodka from 10-11pm! 21+ and $5 at the door! I’ll be interviewing party goers (maybe even you) while my interns are giving out free imboycrazy buttons and stickers! yayzers! it’s a record release party for fischerspooner! so, please come and let’s have a super awesome dance party! woo hoo! photos by the cobrasnake too even! wheee! dj sets by fischerspooner, them jeans, and dan oh! can’t wait to see you and hug! xo
On October 22,09- I hosted an event with my friend Aviva Yael, for Fred Segal’s launch of the Studio Beauty Channel. It was make-out city, for EVERYONE BUT ME! Dallas Clayton and I ran the kissing booths- but the party was way more populated with girls and gay dudes, than straight guys who wanted a kiss from me. i know this for sure, cuz i totally made an announcement over the loudspeaker that i was ready, willing, and able to be kissed. their loss! at least now i’m extra sure that i didn’t contract herpes or swine flu, i hope. i was chatting a lot. holy shit!
You can view pictures from the party on the Beauty Channel’s website. The Beauty Channel is a series of mini-vids (directed by crystal moselle and aviva) that showcases Studio Beauty Mix’s products. Watch the videos of me crying, my friend Ana Calderon, who also Dj’ed the event- giving you a sneak peek into her epic daily life in Los Angeles, and hip/hot couples making out (these are my absolute fave vids- cuz they’re so real, awkward in the best way – PLUS everyone’s really nice to look at)! the videos and products are guh-rate, so go check em out now! xo
As I walked to the parking lot, I had an urge to drive to the valley, over crescent heights which turns into laurel canyon, and go somewhere, ANYWHERE on Ventura blvd. Maybe Twain’s (a more mom and pop version of Denny’s. It’s a coffee shop. Not so corporate. Old timey, 50’s style). but I didn’t need anything there. I used to go there when I was 14, 15, 16- when I’d just started wearing mascara- hanging out with the bad kids at school, seeing bands play, smoking cigs (I don’t smoke anymore- it’s way too gnarly bad for you, and makes you look like leather face- even though it looks super cool in a photo, especially if it’s black and white!) I used to go there and talk shit with people I don’t even know anymore. People I probably didn’t even like at the time! who i knew meant nothing to me. And yet I filled my social calender hanging out with them. aching for their approval! never wanting to miss a get together, show, hangout, whatevs- out of fear they might talk shit about me, or that something epic might happen and i’d miss it.
i guess i also just wanted to leave my room and get out of my moms house in north Hollywood. at the time, i didn’t have my license OR a car yet- so ANYONE willing to pick me up and drive me somewhere was a legend! and being anywhere, out and about with people my age- mean or not, made me feel so important and excited. like we were so powerful and cool and could take over the world. I let their opinion and acceptance of me matter. but who were these people? Sometimes who you go to school with or who you hang out with is decided by/simply because of convenience. I used to order grilled cheese sandwiches and french fries that I would dip in ketchup and ranch dressing. We saw the rocky horror picture show at the Nuart theatre. And stayed up at Twain’s drinking tons of coffee (mine with lots of milk and sugar).
for some reason- I wanted to reconnect with this side of myself. I wanted to tap into my youth. like, say hi to it or something. Apologize for it being over. Apologize for thinking it was so painful- even though, even now, I know it was! Those teen years were dark and brutal. Maybe I wanted to drive over the hill and revisit my past youth because it was raining and I’m in the midst of mourning the death of something- moving onto bigger and better things- and aware of the fact that I know myself now- and I’m happy and centered and excited. Maybe I wanted to mix the two together: my childhood innocence with who I am now. I wanted them both at once. But I decided that I didn’t need to go to Twain’s to do that. I wasn’t hungry, I’ll always be 16 in my heart, and the September issue was playing at the sunset 5 in 20 minutes. I had other shit to do! Halloween was around the corner, and I totally planned on going trick or treating, watching scary movies, having drinks at a party, and going to a pumpkin patch! I’m totally youthful! I just don’t smoke anymore, i eat way healthier, have my own car, apartment, and actually like/love the people in my life. life is better now. Fuck Twain’s! Xo
I saw my most recent ex for the first time in a month. It was his birthday. It was friendly, quick, silly, and only slightly awkward. I don’t want anything from him. I don’t need anything from him- so it wasn’t filled with painful longing or remorse for what was- it was more a sneak peak, or evidence that he could be/might be a best friend. I have so much love for him. And yet- and he feels the same way- not being together was/is a good decision. After he left, with no kissing or anything-just hugs that he wasn’t really comfortable with me giving him- I went to m cafe.
I sat alone. it was raining outside. they have valet at night now which is new and totally annoying. the stipulation is that it’s free the first hour and $3 after. Ugh! isn’t m cafe expensive enough?! god dammit! next time, I have to make sure I only park in the front (a non valet zone). I hate when valet dudes have to take your keys. I understand when they’re actually PARKING my car FOR me, or when it’s hectic and busy and cars are gonna have to be moved and re-parked like a puzzle- but it was a desolate rainy night, so i parked my car myself- and ran before he could even ASK for my keys. I just wasn’t prepared for the unveiling of this unexpected/out of the blue confrontation at my home away from home. plus, I had no cash to tip with- which always makes me feel like a major dickhead. maybe my period was making me moody.
I left m in JUST under an hour, and went to rite aide on sunset to buy feminine protection, which still embarrasses me and makes me uuber shy. I prayed I didn’t run into Madonna or Ben Affleck or something! I didn’t. phew. I used to be so scared and ashamed, when buying Tampax, that I would grab a paper bag on my way in- and when I got the box, I’d stuff it into the bag and take it up to the register. My friends would always say ‘aren’t you afraid they’ll think you’re shoplifting?’ But, no. I wasn’t scared at all. first of all, i WASN’T shoplifting. second: the best way to shop lift, so no one notices you, is to act like you’re not doing anything wrong, which is how i acted. and 3rd, 4th, and 5th: I’m super tall, with an extreme haircut. how could you miss me? wouldn’t a shoplifter be a little more incognito? incognito is not an option when you’re me. plus, I’m a clean cut looking white GIRL. right or wrong, I’m usually given the benefit of the doubt. be it a moving violation or eating food i’ve yet to purchase at the supermarket, or stuffing an unpaid box of tampax into a paper bag at the local drug store- all these things put together add up to me never being put in jail. I’m sorry, these are the perks of being female and Caucasian. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying I can (unfortunately) get away with a lot more than others. Too bad I don’t have any urge to be a murderer! but tonight, I didn’t pre-bag the Tampax box, I held it firmly in my left hand, clung to my side. not quite fearless, but not as ashamed as usual. a happy medium? i suppose. (to be continued)
(whose second studio album is in stores now muthah-fuckahs)!
watch us hang out and chat, while Adam makes us the BEST coffee in the ENTIRE WORLD!
Adam isn’t a boy, he’s a man. he knows what he wants, he’s experienced, and no question i asked him was off limits! if only every dude could be so open and easy. follow him on twitter after you fall in love with him in the videos below!
1. dear homeless people, stop smelling SO gross on MY time. I understand that you can’t/won’t bathe- but why do you have to walk past my booth table at whole foods while I’m eating and leave a trail of sour stench? it isn’t cool. so beat it!
2. someone told me that if you get a yeast infection, you should soak a tampon in plain yogurt and stick it in your vadge. I’m not saying YOU should do this, but I thought you should know that SOME people do this and you might be talking to one of them RIGHT NOW and not even know it!
3. the new vadge coif for fall: bare on the bottom, full on retro bush on top. not only does it look great in a photo, it’s totally helpful/conducive to having your pussy licked and loved.
4. clean the grease off your phone yuck face!
5. stop chewing sugar free gum. It makes your tummy tum act all weird and gurgly!
6. stop chewing sugar gum. It’ll totally rot your teeth dude!
7. just because he’s famous, doesn’t mean he’s worth catching herpes from.
8. if you ARE gonna get herpes- it’s way cooler to contract them from someone who’s been on a billboard.
9. when going on dates- assume every potential escort is a murderer. It’ll be incentive to think a bit more clearly and protect yourself from the bad guys/girls.
10. the initials V.I.P. stand for ‘very important person’. wtf?! How ridiculous is this? And who came up with it? how elitist and rude! if i created the world and social etiquette and all it’s rules, i wouldn’t have velvet ropes and special standing areas, and blatant ways of discriminating /distinguishing who’s more important than another. i mean, like, maybe if i threw a party or whatevs- i would let my mom and my best friends have a special table at a club or something, actually, my mom’s too old for the table at the imaginary club that doesn’t discriminate – in my mind’s eye. but she can be the door lady. and like maybe no fat people, even though they’re nice, but like, now that i am making the rules, i kinda have to re-think things. ok, how’s this: no fatty, yuck, ugly faces with pimples allowed at the party. but they are totally cool to hang out with outside of a party. like at a restaurant, but not a super hip restaurant. ok, yeah, that sounds better. back to the club party: only my friends, and like super cute, or like very skinny, and famous people are allowed in my club with no lame ass v.i.p. section. cause sections are just rude. hmm, but it would make my beautiful cool famous pretty and/or skinny guests feel REALLY UUBER cool if the antithesis of them were standing nearby and staring at them with jealousy, envy, and bitterness in their eyes. hmm, but how do we make sure the ugly lamos who put the other people on pedestals don’t tip toe too close? shit, we might need a rope. but it doesn’t have to be red velvet. gold? no, let’s make it white leather. yeah. perfect. TOTALLY DIFFERENT! the asshole who created velvet ropes, signs, and initials reading ‘v.i.p.’ should take some pointers from me! there’s a way to party without being all elitist and rude!