YES! thank you so much!!! i will totally be your friend! you are adorable!!!! xo, Alexi
for anyone awaiting my facebook friendship approval… I’m sooo sorry, but I’ve hit the 5,000 friend maximum/limit and am not allowed to add any more people. this totally suxxx, but at least it means i’m not some jerky snob who won’t just fucking approve you!
so, instead, join my fan page! yay! wheeee! just click on the icon to the right!
the other day, i invaded the hundreds store like the annoying, uninvited guest, sad clown, dancing monkey that i am. the boys there, Julian in particular, make me feel all girly and silly- like a retarded baby. watch as i embarrass myself to the point of no return. withNateas my camera man, i try to sexy dance with Julian, break dance, and basically keep customers from coming back!
what you won’t see in the video, is me and Nate leaving the store (backing away slowly, as if fleeing the scene of a crime), Nate going back in- to get my forgotten sunglasses (cuz i was too shy to get them myself), and later; Julian finding me down the street at supreme….to give me my blackberry that i forgot too!
of course i met two lovely guys at m cafe! it’s a place where ONLY good things happen!
meet Sebastian! he’d seen my b l o g on street carnage, we started chatting, and he TOTALLY agreed to let me steal a bit of his soul for my site! yay! ever seen the movie dazed and confused? i have! it’s fucking epic! all the dudes have longish hair and neato features- at least the sexiest ones do!
dating Sebastian/making out with him day after day, would remind ANY LUCKY LADY why that movie is soooo good!
listen to ‘sebash’, ‘seb’, ‘s dog’ talk to me about dating, love, turn ons and turn offs- while the daily hustle & bustle of my beloved m cafe moves at a frenetic pace in the background.
the other dude, in video #2, was in a mad rush to leave. he is not American- he is Australian (from Melbourne, specifically, if you MUST know!), super tall, and tattooed! watch me interrogate him before he dashes off to catch a plane BACK to his homeland!
1. tender sex is WAY better than hard/fast/exercise sex.
2. have a little/keep a little mystery. It’s worth it. hold your cards close and you may reap amazing benefits. aka: play it cool ASSHOLE!
3. girls, if you’re not already,START masturbating/touching your privates asap/imdiento! It’s THE thing to do! Don’t do it in class or at work or anything, but at home it’s as good as having a drink. It’s also cool to do in front of guys you’re having a tawdry make-out with. I wouldn’t do it in a car, but if you’re in a hotel room, his place, oryours– do it, and do it real! if he can’t handle it, he’s gay. if he can, then you’re doing him a favor and teaching him some valuable stuff he should TOTALLY know about you!
4. don’t throw anything away in public with your address on it. I always think that if i do, a serial killer will find it at random and decide I’m the next person he’ll murder. Be careful. Always be two steps ahead.
5. if you’re gonna cheat, don’t fuck another person. Kissing is one thing- but fucking is jeopardizing someone elses health. Not cool.
6. girls, it’s very important that you bathe and look at your vaginal folds before going on a hottt, potential sexxxing date. The last thing you need is for some dude to get a piece of toilet paper stuck in his teeth because you’re a lazy groomer. or worse: some sort of bacterial discharge/creamy crud resembling hummus that’s all stuck in the folds of your lady bits! Yuck! No thank you! you need that like you need a punch in the head!
7. suck his dick like you’re starving, it works.
8. don’t even try to take on the post office. They’ll win every time!
9. dudes, stop using shoelaces as belts! it’s not OK. people can see you, and it’s not sexy!
10. don’t waste time obsessing over someone who gives you nothing in return. If this is what you’re experiencing, look at yourself. you’re tapping into deep routed issues/patterns of behavior that run deep in you. enough is enough! Don’t waste any more of your time. Fix yourself so you don’t keep letting the wrong people affect you in the worst way!
PS: A MESSAGE FROM MY FRIEND BINKI SHAPIRO-
hello friends and family…
my sister leaves for haiti at 4am tomorrow as a volunteer and will be there for 2-3 weeks helping with whatever is needed.
she has already bought many much needed supplies, and is going for round two today!
donations are seriously needed for water purifiers, electrolytes, first aid kits, food and formula, etc, for the many orphans that are weak and dying due to starvation.
you can DIRECTLY HELP by sending any amount you can to her paypal account at email@example.com
thank you so much and please keep her in your thoughts. xx binki
(if you don’t mind, please forward this email to all of your friends!)
Why are we here? Are we born to procreate and die? If so, should
finding the perfect mate be our sole responsibility? Or, should personal goals be our primary concern? Most agree, the answer is in finding the appropriate balance. But, is that really possible?
How do two people balance each other out when they’re realistically
standing on different beams?
If the whole concept of a relationship is to work together and
become one or one unit working on behalf of two, who’s personal
goals become the priority of the unit?
Can two people, who have different personal goals or dreams coexist
in a relationship without making sacrifices that will infect and
eventually change ones own individual soul?
Can your love for another human being change the blueprint of what you thought your life should be about?
And, if we only have one life to live, should we as people allow this to happen?
It’s obvious that making sacrifices is an unavoidable obstacle in every relationship. But, as conscious human beings, aren’t we all silently keeping score?
So, where do you draw the line? In an ideal relationship, how many
sacrifices does it take to stop you from loving someone or knowing
they’re not “the one” for you?
On the flipside, how many times can you allow someone to give in to your needs before you start to lose respect for them?
Sure, it’s a constant balancing act. But, at what point does love
blur the lines so much that it starts to rob you of your own identity or make you feel like you’re stealing somebody else’s?
How can two people be true to themselves and do what’s best for the two?
Are we all organically lonely people selfishly searching for someone to accompany us on our own journey we’ve planned for ourselves or is there a perfect match for each and every one of us?
Do soul mates really exist?
If you agree life is about finding the balance between self fulfillment and your commitment to another human being.
Ask yourself this… if you were the only person or obstacle standing between your loved ones dream, would you risk losing them forever to allow them the opportunity to live it out?
Could you make that sacrifice?
If you didn’t, do you think the relationship could still survive?
holy fuck! when exactly did my phone become my lifeline? My beacon of hope?! I stare at it. i cradle it in my hands. It’s a part of me. this has been slowly creeping up on me for like practically an eon! but I’m still shocked at how full on my dependency has become! if someone told me what I’m telling you, I’d say ‘yo, bro, for serious, you have way too much time on your hands. you’re obsessing. get a life. chill-ax. take it down a notch or twelve!’ But, I don’t have too much time on my hands. I have plenty to do. that’s the problem! my phone is my perfect excuse/distraction that keeps me from getting that stuff done! how confusing! it helps me AND it’s debilitating all at once! what the fuck?! Be careful! don’t let this happen to you.
I hear phantom beeps/text alerts/e-mail notifications! I thought I was better than this! i feel it vibrate in my back pocket even when i, for some stupid reason- that i should probably be murdered for, left it at home or in the car! what was i thinking? Please god- don’t let me get in a car accident because I can’t unglue my eyes from my phone, which is cradled in the drink holder, cuz I’m checking to see if the red light is flashing! this is sick! and i don’t even have a camera phone… yet!
it’s the first thing i look at in the morning and the last thing i look at before bed. I’ve even found myself waking up in the middle of the night to see if there’s a new alert! i charge it, back it up, clean it, turn it on and off. i might as well own a dog. i worry about it dying, falling, breaking. it links to my face-book, my twitter! it’s my lifeline! with it, i never have to feel lonely. my portable loneliness eliminator. i take it out with me to dinner even. just us.
if I’m super needy or nervous when i’m out and about- i have the option to ‘pretend text’, in order to look cool! i said the option. i don’t actually do that, or feel the need to, but it’s nice to have the option! Jesus! it gives me directions and it is ruling my life.
i know I’m not alone in this crazy heroine like, obsessive addiction to my phone. PS/FYI-: it’s a blackberry, if you must know. and one of the only things that keeps me feeling like i have some modicum of control is that i refuse to bbm. please help me be strong, and remember who i am. grant me the power to overcome this war/battle of my own free will. i love you. xo
PLEASE CHECK THIS OUT! my best friend works closely with OXFAM and they are on the front line of crisis relief efforts, doing what is most important after medical care, shelter, water and sanitation. please help by making a donation! click HERE to make a donation and learn more. xo
meeting Steve was like meeting the male- WAY more intense/full throttle- version of myself. except- he’s not BOYcrazy, he’s GIRLcrazy to the maxxx! i didn’t know how to react. instead of being myself, i morphed into a shy introvert! i turned inward and shut down. i couldn’t handle him. i self destructed and had a mini internal freak-out! is this what it’s like to be around me? I’m so sorry!
watch Steve tell me what he’d do to me if we went on a date! the guy is fearless. it’s a numbers game, and he’ll win every time. be careful: mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts… no one is safe! lock yourself in a room and throw away the key, cuz Steve Olson is a sexy casanova, who won’t take no for an answer! a talker, a mover, a shaker, a jokester, and a man who made me overwhelmed! that says it all! xo