the blind leading the blind part 13:

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1. adopt a personality and learn how to use that personality to make conversation when you meet people.

2. when going into a meeting, prepare. if it’s a biz meeting, look up the person you’re meeting with. have an idea of what you want to say, communicate, express. take charge of your life and how you present yourself. be clear on what is important to you.

3. start referring to everything you do as a meeting. lunch with a friend: meeting. Starbucks with mom: meeting. asking the produce guy at the market about apples: meeting. it just makes you sound super cool awesome important all in one!

4. if you have uuber fake bleach blond hair, and an orange (or ANY kind of) fake tan, and have moved to la from somewhere else to hit it big by acting or secretly getting preggers from a rich married dude you met at crunch and are now fucking… i don’t know why you are reading this blog. you don’t belong here. however, if you are naturally blond, but dye your hair brown, and like to think you are your own person… stay here. you’ve found your home.

5. boring is bad.

6.  if you ONLY reserve your smiles for babies, it doesn’t mean you’re good. nice try asshole. How about smiling at a grown up who needs a nice pick me up smile too? Babies can’t talk back and aren’t threatening or intimidating. we’re onto you, you stingy- control freak- smile giver THEN denier!  some babies are cute- I get it, but broaden your horizons why don’t you!

7. always knock first. It’s super rude to try the door knob first. Knock and then listen for someone to yell ‘it’s open’, or ‘I’ll be right there’, or ‘come in’.

8. sometimes if the wrong person calls on your behalf, it’s the same or worse than if you called on your own behalf or didn’t call at all. Watch whose hands you put your life into.

9. if you’ve never slept with a black dude, it probably means you’re racist. if you’ve only slept with a 1/2 black dude. it means you’re half racist.

10. so, you don’t have an electric toothbrush why?

sometimes it’s ok to be a loser:

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Normally, I hate the word loser. using it to DEFINE someone makes me shudder. I don’t wanna say it or even be ASSOCIATED with it. I feel guilty if I describe someone as a loser, as if it’s harsher than the word ‘cunt’ or something.

in an attempt to keep people from being a potential loser, or even just a loser in training- I used to TRY to help people figure out what their purpose and contribution to the world could be. So that they could find their unique talent/gift, to bring to the table of life.

But the truth is, they didn’t need my help or anyone elses- because they didn’t WANT it. some people just aren’t ambitious and they never will be. They weren’t born with a built in drive or passion. they don’t have a gift or a hidden gem tucked deep down inside their people soul. And that’s ok.

now I APPLAUD the mind set of the casual, hanger outer, fun haver, non go-getter, with no plans/vision for the future. I’ve realized/accepted that the world actually NEEDS losers. without losers how could we define the winners?  how could we separate the creators from the consumers? whose heads would we use as stepping stones to glory? we’d be knee deep in a puddle! a puddle! In fact, this is my new religion: To inspire NON producers and a general rule of non-productivity in any way, shape, or form. Just DONT do it! use this in ALL aspect of your life. From working out to paying your bills,  getting a job to combing your hair (even though the bed head chic look CAN work on dudes AND girls)!

We need losers to continue on their loser path to nothingness, middle ‘age’dom, old age,  and to keep from getting in our fucking way! We need them to continue to be lazy, get nothing done, acquiring and spreading stds, snorting peanut butter crank, smoking pot, hanging out, shopping all day with someone elses money, partying too much, leaning against walls, avoiding phone calls/not returning phone calls, borrowing money, putting things off, not making plans, living in a trailer, surfing all day,  eating too much, sleeping in too late, celebrating achievements they’ve yet to/and will Never achieve!

Let people NOT aspire to be their best, because it will make rising to the top much easier for the go getters and the people with drive/ goals/ hopes/ dreams/ and the energy to realize them. so stop trying to change your lump of a friend, neighbor, or acquaintance! instead, enjoy him/her for the jokes they tell and the space they waste. have fun with them in your free time. share a dance at a club. and if the sex is great, keep having it. just make sure you get dressed after, go home, and get some fucking work done when you’re back in your own apartment. i love you!

the blind leading the blind part 12:

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1. keep your eyes open! even if you’re in a relationship, be aware of who’s around you and what your options are. don’t live your life asleep at the wheel. I’m NOT saying you should cheat. not at all. just pay attention to the people who are attracted to you and friendships or relationships you could have. you are never trapped and it’s important to know you have options and are desirable.

2. how about you answer your FUCKING phone? I KNOW you can see your phone. i KNOW you know it’s me.  I mean, you’re constantly checking it when we’re TOGETHER. i guess you just don’t wanna talk to me. and that’s FINE. as long as YOU’RE fine with the fact that YOU’RE DEAD TO ME. unless you’re busy working, then i totally get it and it’s fine. just call me back.  xo

3. it’s ‘Asian’ when referring to people and ‘oriental’ when referring to objects you racist jerk!

4. don’t talk back to your boyfriend in public. It just looks ugly. it’s also an instant hard off and clitoral downer. Unless the dude is dangerous or threatening your life, keep it together, remain composed, PLUS you can always walk away. I love you.

5. one on one hangouts are much scarier than three people hanging out. i wish this wasn’t true, but it is. 

6. go shopping alone. the chitty chatty banter causes you to use the clothing, or whatever merchandise you’re shopping for, to serve as a defense or distraction- and impulse buys are much more likely to occur. it’s YOUR wallet, but I’m warning you.

7. when real shit is happening, it’s time to drop the snarky front/facade and be a good person. call your friend back. forget the fight, or the petty differences the two of you have. in a perfect world, people would ALWAYS act the way they do after riots or an earthquake. they push the bullshit aside. if a friends/enemies/or acquaintances mom or dad dies, call them/visit them- even if you have NO IDEA what to say. bring flowers and martinelli’s apple cider. if you don’t like a person cuz you thinks they’re a nerd or a dork and it would hurt your cool to be seen with them, or they just get on your nerves- that’s FINE during the superficial rigmarole of the day to day…but if this said ‘dork’ was hurting (emotionally or physically) and needed someone to talk to, would you be able to drop the shit and be there? even though it’s not your ’job’?

8. going to target will ALWAYS make you happy.

9. there’s a difference between a vaginal ‘yeast’ infection and a ‘bacterial’ infection. know your body. don’t make assumptions. and for the love of god, see a gynecologist!

10. the next time a homeless person asks you for change (especially if he/she is wearing a better outfit than you) you could either give them some money OR do what I do and shout: “what do you expect me to do, give you my debit card? i don’t have any change! get a job you cardboard holding creep.” just giving you options. xo

the boy who taught me about hydrogen peroxide:

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i had just gotten out of my five year relationship. i had a list of guys in the back of my mind i had always wanted to make-out with, maybe even have sex with. one boy in particular was a musician dude i had known forever- but more as an acquaintance, and who i shared about a million close mutual friends with. he never said much when i saw him, and i knew nothing REALLY about him… but i loved what his face looked like. I LOVED that he was taller than me. that’s not something easy to accomplish. i’m 5’10. he was so odd looking. he was American, but looked like an English boy from 1963. his style was simple. sweater, jeans, cords, button up shirts. that look. he was TALL and LEAN and stand offish, but not in a mean way, just quiet. an against the wall leaner. i couldn’t read him at all… but from what i had HEARD about him, from all my female friends who had slept with him… he had a crazy huge private. and by private, i mean d. i. c. k. i HATE that word. it makes me feel like how the word bologna sounds… moist and rubbery and cold and thick. yuck! but i was single now and i had to know if this was true. i wanted NOTHING more from him than sex. yes, i said it. just sex. i didn’t care to know what he felt, what his dreams were, or his thoughts. i was on a mission.

i ran into him at a show. he was with a mutual friend. i was shy. i stammered ‘hello’.  i was nervous to show him i liked him. i wasn’t in love or anything, i just didn’t want him thinking he was in high demand. he was wearing a red plaid button up and a look on his face that revealed nothing. i HAD to have him. but how would i do it? i started talking to my friend who owned the venue. i wanted to make sure it was obvious how popular i am, that i have important friends, ties, bonds, and can talk to people whenevs.. because I’m totally fun and interesting. i hope i didn’t blow my cool, as i looked over my shoulder every two seconds to see if he noticed how in demand I was. drat. he never seemed to be looking. oh well, the night was still young. even as i watched him flirt, laugh, and be touched on the shoulder and whispered to by a hot- slutty- red lipstick wearing ny chick who was much skinnier and skankier looking than me, i did not lose hope! instead i was fueled by an inner rage and determination. thinking thoughts like, ‘he has NO idea how amazing i am’. and, ‘i bet I’m WAY better in bed than that trollop skank bitch’. and yet, i thought she was cute too, but this was no time to try to bond and form a new female friendship. besides, she was visiting from outta town anyways and would only leave me heartbroken. plus i heard she was mean, had stds, and slept with EVERYONE- and i DO NOT need a friend like that. back to the lanky super tall dude: the show was ending, and i had to make a play. so i skipped up over to him as he was walking out the front doors and said “hey (insert name here), I’m single now and i think you should know…… we’re gonna sleep together…. soon.” he smiled and laughed “Alexi, you are funny”. “i know” i said, “i can’t help it.”

we laughed. i was glad he could handle and actually ENJOYED my braisen approach/sense of humor. everyone we knew was walking to a cafe down the street. we sat next to each other and barely flirted. i felt nothing for him. nothing. except that i wanted to check him off a list. he represented something i hadn’t been able to have while i was in a five year relationship… sex with someone who wasn’t my boyfriend. from the cafe, a smaller group of us went to a bar. when there were only four of us left at the bar: me, my girlfriend, my lanky dude sex toy, and his annoying friend (i didn’t hate him, but my friend wasn’t his biggest fan- and she was the one we were trying to set him up with.) the four of us went back to her house, and twenty minutes later she kicked us out and whispered to me that she’s not my pimp and she’d rather not help me try to score by luring dudes back to her place for foreplay. i understood.

we jumped in my dudes car, went to his house. he dropped his friend off, grabbed some stuff inside, and we got back in the car. we looked at eachother for what felt like the first time all night. i leaned in, took his face in my hands and kissed him. we drove off  to his band mates house who he was house sitting for. his bandmate was dating a well known actress at the time.  her red lipstick was all over the white pillowcases. but i didn’t care. it made it neater! torrid sex in a bed that didn’t belong to either of us, with a movie stars crazy red lipstick all over the place? AWESOME! it was like that song: ‘those Hollywood nights, in those Hollywood hills’! this was gonna be epic.

we cut the bullshit/small talk, and i flopped onto the bed- giving him a look that said ‘get the fuck over here bitch.’ he jumped on top of me, and we made out forever- clothes coming off until we were both naked with the lights still on. ON! amazers! crazer amazers! i looked at his privates. they were big, but not as huge as i’d thought- but pretty impressive. as i looked down and then back up again, i smiled.

we had sex every which way possible! (except bum sex, cuz i totally don’t do that. too scary and gross) me on top, him on top, 69′ing, me going down on him and him me. we were both super limber so legs were criss crossing and flailing all over the place. at one point during a french kiss during the wild sex party, our teethe klunked into eachother and my lip got cut. i didn’t realize until after we were done that this happened. but my cut was small compared to the gallons of blood it left all over the white sheets! i wasn’t having my period. this wasn’t supposed to happen. plus, cuts and blood and sex with strangers are all ingredients for a panic attack this day and age. anywayzies, back to the sheets….

dude and i wouldn’t be able to pass it off as crazy movie star lipstick either. we were fucked! he went into the next room and came back. ‘i googled getting out blood, and it says hydrogen peroxide will lift it out of the fabric.’ it totally worked! we laid back down, and i told him about the word on the street/word of mouth about his privates and that all the girls told me it’s massive. he asked if it lived up to the dream. i said “yeah, i guess”. he was genuinely flattered “really? wow.” he asked if i wanted to spend the night and he’d drive me home after we woke up, but i said no. I’m much more shy and anxiety ridden about actually SLEEPING next to a guy, than having sex with him. like it’s TOO intimate too soon. i know this way of thinking is a bit backwards, but that’s how i feel.

he drove me home. and as we gazed forward in the early morning light, making idle chit chat about nothing, i looked over and said “wow, i can’t believe it. i don’t feel sad or empty at all. i don’t have any of that regret or shame society and friends tell you you’ll have.” he just smiled. i felt nothing. and luckily since i was completely sober during this entire experience, i wasn’t hung over either. we arrived at my house, said goodbye as if we’d never had sex at all (just short of a handshake and a slap on the back) and i walked inside my apartment. all by myself, in my one bedroom sanctuary, i thought about how exciting it was to be single and all the adventures to come! little did i know i’d make out with his roommate months later. but that’s another story altogether. xo, i love you.

who wrote this?

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SO, LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR: I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO LET A GUY FRIEND OF MINE WRITE A BLOG POST FOR ME- PRETENDING TO BE ME AND GET INTO THE DEEP CREVICES OF MY MIND. I WATCHED HIM WHILE HE TYPED.  I COULD TELL THAT HE WAS SUPER INTO IT. THIS WASN’T A JOKE. HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS. REALLY TRYING TO EMBODY ME. THIS IS WHAT HE CAME UP WITH:

Soooooooo, basically I just went through one of the most life changing experiences of my entire life EVER!. No i didn’t make out with Vincent Gallo (yet!) No I didn’t have an abortion, if you thought I did y’all obvi haven’t been reading my prior posts, and no I did not just win a prize during a live Ellen taping. But I just totally up and moved house like MD. I don’t care who tries to tell you you cant move all your shit from point A to point B with a little help (thanks Mike)- they are naysayers!

Not only did my stuff get moved; it was sorted , stacked , prioritized, and all put in it’s right place- predetermined by yours truly. And I have more crap than someone with, like, alot of stuff. Like J.Lo Louis trunks full of crapola. Actually my stuff is more like AHA-Mazing quality books, movies, photographs and soft clothing. Moving is central to being a functional human being. if  we did not move, we would all end up like Charlie from the chocolate factories bedridden grandparents! It can give you a totally new perspective on life in general and it always changes the view. I’m so much closer to all the things I Love about LA now! But I wonder: will I still appreciate them as much now that I’m so close? Its like when you move in with a BF and you wake up and you are all like “Who the hell are you?”

Choosing the right surroundings will always shape your attitude and demeanor. Someone once told me “No peace in your home, no peace in your life” that person is dead now. NO wait JK, JK! But for cereals, like why the eff do people continue to live in squalor? It’s not that hard to clean the dishes and make the bed. (Boys this means you) It is your presentation of yourself that people see and react too. There’s not some mystical colored chakra vibes surrounding you and I don’t care what your Yoga instructor says- he’s trying to get into your stretchy American Apparel leggings.

Putting the key into this new dwelling of mine and exploring this new area is like having a brand new boyfriend. everything is new and exiting! Except that is, for the parking sitch! But whatevs, I don’t like people coming over anywaysies, it’s called MY HOUSE for a reason (not referring to lame uber Miami style club). Which leads me to another epidemic I have noticed, there IS a difference between a friend and a room mate. Keep this relationship defined, I’ve gone to someones house where there are literally 3 people living in the living room. I know, embarrassing, but it was a long time ago. I know they call it a “living room” but don’t take everything all literal all the time! sheesh. It is not rude to tell someone they cannot stay over, even in this economy!

So, bottom line, I am happy with this change. it will no doubt lead to better, funnier, more offensive, more helpful, more insightful and more thought provoking blog posts. See you in your hood soonsies… XO ME.

stress doesn’t suit me:

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I’ve been pretty hectic lately. I just moved from Los Feliz to the Beverly Melrose area AND had other actual WORK stuff to do (nonstop) at the same time. It was kuh-razy.

I don’t handle stress easily. I internalize AND externalize all of my feelings. I break out-  of good manners town AND pimple wise! I wanna have sex with everyone, but can’t bring myself to have sex with ANYONE, cuz I’m too stressed! All I wanna do is throw in the towel and get on the tram ride at universal studios.

I need to be hugged, but push everyone away. I wear all my ugliest bras because I know no one will want to undress me. I’m on edge with bank tellers, when I KNOW I should never be. I’m polite to EVERYONE else, except whoever I’m dating,and my mom. I avoid my friends, but wonder why they aren’t calling me. They could pick up the phone too you know! I say I want to build better friendships, have peers who are inspiring and doing a lot with their lives. And yet I have no time for the friendships I’ve ALREADY made. Or are these just not the IDEAL friendships I’m MEANT to experience?

I make time to see my therapist, but when I see her, it’s more of a staring match and I can’t remember what I had planned to say, what I NEED to talk about. I walk out of her office $100 lighter without having even ASKED for at LEAST a guided meditation to help me unwind. Everyone says: “relax.”. “Just breath”, “take a breath”. But when I do, it’s more like hyperventilating.

I finished the work I had to do, I finished my move- but have a few more looming trips to bed bath and beyond and ikea to make, but this is just to tie up loose ends!I can breath again. I’m smiling again. And now my brain has too much time to think, too much free time to let bad thoughts of self doubt creep in. So I make lists and start the cycle again: to be as busy as I JUST was- HOPING I won’t be as panicked this time around. Cuz too much idle time makes me depressed. And while too much on my plate makes me panic: the only rewards come after the WORK is done!

When I can stand back and look at what I did even though I was too blind and spazzed out during the process, THAT makes the panic worth it.  idle time makes me pick at my face, eat too much, cry and seem desperate. I’ll choose panic every time. I love you. Xoxox

the blind leading the blind part 11:

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1. always have a book. It proves you can read, helps pass the time, and will take your mind off the real world for a second.


2. if you think all white people look the same, or all black people look the same, or all Asian people look the same, or all Latino people look the same, etc: YOU are a racist jerk. Case closed! Fix this! It’s a serious problem!

3. Do whatever you want, just don’t make that face.

4. try to find the balance between being a stupid pushover and a closed off know it all.

5. let me expand on #4: people are BANKING on you being an easy target; stupid enough to take advantage of you, fuck you (over), lie to you, and/or rob you. if you know this and get DEFENSIVE, you could end up being worse off than someone who is a carefree retardo. Try, i beg of you, JUST TRY to find the happy medium between being stupid/thinking everyone or anyone knows better or more than you and thinking YOU know it ALL and no one can offer you advice cuz you’d never need it, take it, or listen to it.

6. ‘forgive and forget’. this phrase sounds great, and will help you get over unresolved issues weighing you down. but, should you really forgive and forget? just don’t forgive and forget THEN let the whole bad news cycle REPEAT itself. forgive, forget, and learn from the experience, cut the dead toxic weight out of your life and be better off.

7. if you live in la and have a free day just to troll for dudes, here are places you should go: the apple store at the grove, the 101 cafe, amoeba records, family bookstore, target, wasteland on melrose, and Sammy’s camera- just to name a few.

8. if you live in la and you have a free day just to troll for GIRLS, here are the places you should go: m cafe, wasteland, target, the Beverly center, all over the grove (including the farmers market), and erewhon (more specifically, the juice bar).

9. don’t pick the dead skin on your fingers and then rip it off with your teeth! this goes for both guys AND girls. fucking ridiculous! do you know how many beautiful girls I’ve seen at castings just sitting around gnawing at their own flesh! it makes me feel better about myself cuz they’re so beautiful and makes them seem more human, but it’s also SUPER gross! besides empathize with them- what i REALLY wanna do is slap their hand out of their mouth and make them snap out of it! and if this picking, nervous bullshit MUST happen….. NEVER in public ladies. whether you know it or not, someone is watching…. and throwing up in their mouths.

10. if you are walking down the street, on a sidewalk, and you’re about to walk past a van….walk AROUND the van. step OFF the sidewalk and into the street and walk along the drivers side… but even THEN, keep some safe distance from the van. this way you are not trapped between the van and the wall, and there is less of a chance of you being clubbed over the head and dragged against your will into the rapist/child molester/murder van! i’m NOT kidding. be careful! even if you AREN’T alone, i STILL suggest you and whoever you’re with take this advice. you can never be TOO careful. hindsight isn’t 20/20 when you’re dead. xo

a collection of boys at space 1520:

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a few weeks ago i hosted/mc’d an event at space 1520 called ‘blogger shop day’. i didn’t really do much. i sold some tote bags and t shirts i silk screened, shopped, announced the band that played in the courtyard (warpaint), plugged all the bloggers who came and set up stalls and were selling stuff, etc.

the most EXCITING part was that i got to speak into a MICROPHONE and have my voice amplified for people to hear and then, just as quickly, try to ignore. i thought i was a hit, but may have been the only one laughing at my amplified jokes. i’ll never know though, cuz my own laughter was way too loud and would have drowned out anyone else’s, microphone or no microphone. but more importantly, i met a bunch of cute boys!

everyone i talked to was in a lovely mood. the music was deafening, but i trudged on with my interviews… because when you spot a babe in a courtyard, much like the olden days when we were cave people and had to be quick witted, and move fast and stealth like styles to hunt our prey… so must a boycrazy monster like myself. xo

1520 from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

1520 – part 2: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

1520 – part 3: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

1520 – part 4: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

if i were a dude:

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if I were a dude, I’d be doing all kinds of shit to impress the girlies. Little stuff that’s super easy for me to do, but goes a long way with girls- cuz dudes just aren’t very romantic nowadays. if i were a dude, you would freak out! i would be a heart breaker. i would dress to impress all the time but make sure there was no way i could ever, even for a second, be mistaken as gay. unless i WAS a gay dude, in which case- i would be openly out and proud! i would be epically gay and would make straight dudes bummed they weren’t gay! but that’s another post ALL TOGETHER!

if i were a dude, my name would be max, or Oliver, or Felix, maybe Sebastian, roman, or Vincent. i would make out with a different girl every day. every night. i would be dangerous! i would never be caught dead in flap pockets or jeans with embroiderey. only classic Levis, dark apc denim, those green parka jackets with the hoods with the fur trim, and calvin klein boxer breifs all the way! i would wear a slim fit tux WHENEVER necessary. i would wear suits everyday. i would never wear flip flops. but more importantly, i would make you laugh like a motherfucker AND be easy on the eyes!

i would always bring my dates flowers or even just a SINGLE flower. ANYTHING to look as though i added that extra bit of pizaz, cuz it’s so easy to do, and in reality requires no effort- and yet it is a gesture that goes a long way. even re-gifting an unopened bottle if perfume i got for free at work from a promo package or gift bag would be lovely and eazy peazy.

i would pick the girl up, make sure she got inside safely before driving off. (but that bitch BETTER know the lean over ‘door trick’ or she’s dead to me!) i would open the door for her, pay for our dates (but secretly want her to offer to pay, just to gauge what kind of person she is). i would ONLY let her pay on my birthday and surprise me with little prezzies and the occasional grocery list item though.

i would be a master at whatever my profession is. i would earn a lot of money, drive a hybrid or a range rover. maybe both, just to be confusing. i would go to the doctor and take care of myself. i wouldn’t be scared of the doctor! the doctor is there to take care of you! i would have health insurance. i wouldn’t have roommates, because i would want the place to myself so i could fuck whatever girl i wanted, whenever i wanted to, however i wanted! and because real men don’t have roommates. i would do sit ups, (not in a creepy American psycho way though) but NOT be a member of the gym. i would bike ride in outfits that look like I’m a cast member of Annie hall. white shorts (to the knee) and a white loose fitting thin worn crew neck t shirt. i would give every girl i ever came near an epic orgasm. as a man, this is a power i have.  i would eat healthy and not drink soda pop. drive through dining would not be my lifestyle choice. in a pinch, i might go to baja fresh. in a pinch i said!

i would only commit to a girl if she was amazing and i was crazy in love with her. but until then, i would be a non aids catching Casanova. money would never be an issue because i make so much of it. but my broad wouldn’t be a broke weight on my shoulders either. she would be successful in her on right! i would not be a cheater because i would never be in a committed relationship if i felt the need for more, or had the desire to run from it. i would have awesome bros who inspire me to do the most with my life, time, thoughts. they would not be a bunch of lazy pot smoking monsters whose idea of an accomplished day is passing around the bong and a circle jerk!

if i were a dude, my privates would be somewhere between six and eight inches length wise, and the gurth of a genetically modified cucumber available at whole foods. visit whole foods if you don’t know what i mean. i wouldn’t want to be too big to scare a girl, or too small to be made fun of behind my back. occasionally i would drink alcohol, maybe a beer once a week. i wouldn’t smoke, and i would be great at fixing stuff- objects and meals! i would try not to be one of those guys who picks his nose when he drives, but if i did it would be TOTALLY less gross than if i were a girl. YUCK. i would want kids but not until i was like, 38. i’d be a tall, confidant, dynamo!

things would be so different if i were a dude, except for the tall part. i probably wouldn’t even date myself if a met me at a party. xo

chad marshall:


this is pro surfer Chad Marshall. he’s one half of the duo behind the warriors of radness clothing/lifestyle empire! the other half of the duo is his bro trace Marshall- but I’ll get to HIM  later! in the video of chad, he’s even wearing a piece from the w.o.r. collection (yellow plaid button up)!

something about chad makes me act all awkward and goofy whenever I’m around him. i don’t know why. maybe it’s because i look like a bizarro character from a Tim Burton movie OR a vampire in black tights, with a leggo haircut, who would burn the minute  sand, saltwater, or the sun touched her. while  HE looks like he could be the star of some 1950′s/60′s TV show/movie , alongside Gidget, Elvis, or Fabian. he’d play the sexy lifeguard who all the beach girlies swoon over OR the funny side kick who’s always up to no good and hitting on the girls at the beach hut cafe or something. two characters from two different movies colliding! how exciting!

maybe it’s his beautiful blue eyes and his mom tattoo. whatever it is, i like him! and one day soon I’ll be able to act like a normal person around him. but he’s so blond (is he even blond? he might not be. in the video he doesn’t look blond does he?i swear he USED to be blond! I’m just gonna go with it.) and i’m so brunette now! he’s always smiling and seems to be in a good mood! how is this possible? if he were dumb i would understand, but he’s SUPER smart AND funny! feel free to visit him, hug him, or flirt with him at mollusk whenevs! or request the dude’s facebook friendship! i DARE you! xo

chad marshall- surfer dude stud!!! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.