ALEXI will be on the radio tonight!
10:30PM – 12 MIDNIGHT PST,
KXLU 88.9FM LOS ANGELES.
CALL IN AND SAY HELLO!
10:30PM – 12 MIDNIGHT PST,
KXLU 88.9FM LOS ANGELES.
CALL IN AND SAY HELLO!
I told him, when I met his parents for the first time, how it made me squirm a bit. he was another guy I had fallen in love with and this was another family I’d get close to. If it didn’t work out- and obviously it eventually didn’t- I would have opened myself up to another group of people who i’d have to say goodbye to; friends and family.
Now, looking back, it stings- especially when I think back to the day my most recent ex and I broke up. him saying that he didn’t talk about our break up with his dad because his dad would have just been harsh towards ME and that his step mom advised him not to see me in person- after we’d broken up over the phone. Wow. Then when I called his friend that I’ve only ever been friendly with- who I’d consoled (via the phone) while he cried about his life and options and choices/who told me I made his relationship with (insert my ex’s name here) better and that he hoped we stay together forever- when I called him to get some advice and was in a bad place and needed to talk one human being to another- this friend of the ex snapped at me and told me he would have broken up with me two weeks into the relationship if he had been MY boyfriend- with all the tests and games I pulled with (ex).
Huh? Had he been in the relationship with me? No. Had I only ever been loving towards him? Yes. Didn’t he know how emotionally closed off his friend/my ex could be? I thought so. He should. Wow. This was a wake up call. Never consider your bf’s friends your own. Their friends are their friends. And their family is their family.
Later- when the ex and I were amicabley broken up, he said not to worry about the friends behavior. The friend was just defensive and being protective of him. I get that. But, when I flipped the situation and thought about how I would treat a person, I realized I would have never snapped and been so cold and rude. And now that there’s been more time since my breakup, and as I continue to only say nice things about my ex when people ask why we’ve split- the only person that’s left me with a bad taste in my mouth is his friend and his behavior. Behavior from a guy who preaches being understanding, and having empathy for the human condition; someone who is very emotional himself. If my ex and I don’t hate each other, he needn’t be so rude.
As I move on and WHEN i fall in love with the next man I choose to make important in my life- I’m not gonna let this experience make me be closed off. I’m not gonna get jaded or bitter. I’m gonna remain open, and meet the next love of my life’s friends and family, and love them as if they were my own. I’ll just cross my fingers and hope they don’t act like total unfeeling, asshole, hypocrites for no good reason – if the whole thing goes awry/falls apart. That’s the hardest part sometimes- staying open and childlike and always believing in love. but i am, and i do. I love you. Xo
PS: TOMORROW FROM 10:30PM – 12 MIDNIGHT PST, I’LL BE ON THE RADIO!
KXLU 88.9FM LOS ANGELES.
CALL IN AND SAY HELLO! THE # IS (310) 338-5958
ok, so i’m doing a podcast again…tonight. 8pm – 10pm PST. my mom gave me some advice: this time i will listen better, not be so frantic, not act as though it’s a race to get through all the calls. i will treat people the way i want to be treated. i might have a glass of wine before the show. i will be calmer and gentler.
it’s gonna be two hours, with a surprise guest for the first hour. the second hour will be me taking YOUR calls. so, give me another chance. tell your friends: guys and girls to call in. (646) 378-0649
just come back here at 8pm and click on the podcast/blog talk radio link to the right.
two different girls called in and the advice i gave was a bit sloppy. i misheard them and wasn’t focusing. it was because i was frantic due to technical difficulties. one girl said she was bummed about a guy she really likes (who is friends with a guy she used to hook up with) not telling people about their relationship. i didn’t hear you clearly and said you should move on. but now that i listened to the podcast (while cringing and at the same time fighting the urge to punch myself in the face) i understand that he’s just being respectful of his friend. i think you should continue dating, wait it out for like 6 months and keep it low key. there’s a difference between your guy being ashamed of you and just being respectful of one of his friends. trust your instincts.
also, a girl called in about liking a guy that her friend likes and that it was causing a problem between the two girls. i told her to have her friend call me, but i think that when the friend called- i didn’t put two and two together. so call me again and tell me if the mutual guy crush is still an issue- but tell me what your friends name is, so i can expect her call and know who i’m supposed to be giving advice to.
so, there you go! i hope to hear from all my wonderful girl and boy readers. but don’t forget, i AM totally boycrazy- so i’d love to hear from cute guys with six packs too. (and by ‘six packs’ i mean: successful, strong, tall, neato, smart, cool dudes)! lot’s of love, alexi
don’t forget to RSVP! see you there! there will be 2 kissing booths! one for boys and one for girls! make-up, drinks, babes, and dj ana calderon who i love soooo much! yippy skippy! it’s important to be social! xo
you saw the commercial on Monday. well, the time has come! an actual interview with a man dude who has some serious life experience. this is karl, mark ‘the cobrasnake’ hunter’s grandpa! maybe this interview will help shape up the lazy mongrels that are walking around town claiming to be men! Karl is a man who’s been through long term relationships, is still with a woman he met 29 years ago, and has survived the holocaust. for real. this is Karl. an amazing man i was lucky enough to hang out and have a chat with. enjoy!
1. when you’re at a concert and you’re worried cuz your friend is acting weird and you think she’s mad at you cuz she’s being passive aggressive- THEN the show starts and you get all in your head wondering if people are watching you tapping to the beat with your heel/foot and thinking it looks dumb, or you are way too conscious about your facial expressions as you listen to the music, cuz you think people are judging you and ultimately making fun of you: just remember that you and everyone in that room is gonna die. So get the fuck over it and smile…. while you can.
2. it’s important to listen to the Beatles.
3. “I’m just not that into ‘it” ” is the alternate version of “he’s just not that into you” – for today’s woman.
4. if a tree falls in the forest, it totally makes a sound.
5. maybe don’t tell someone how many times you’ve seen them in public. If you’ve seen them and remember every detail- but they never saw or noticed you- that could be a bad sign.
6. you can’t go wrong giving a girl a classic lambskin Chanel purse with gold hardware.
7. in a perfect world, you’d only be having sex with guys who, if they accidentally got you pregnant, you might not even consider having an abortion. Stay in school though kids.
8. don’t spoil movies for people you jerk! what are you a sadist?
9. claiming dibs on a guy is not allowed. If you aren’t dating him/never dated him- he’s up for grabs. People don’t own people.
10. however, you are not allowed to date your best friends serious ex boyfriend. if you feel very strongly about it though, you have to take your friend out to dinner and ask her for permission. there are no rules, jut try to treat people the way you’d like to be treated. and chemistry is chemistry, so work it out so everyone can be happy and remain friends!
Get ready! later this week, i’ll be debuting an epic, in depth interview with mark the cobrasnake’s grandpa: Karl! until then, here’s a sneak peak. hear an experienced man BREAK IT DOWN on dating and how a woman should be treated! you’re welcome! xo
a boy who reads my blog wrote this:
“my friend texted me to tell me that miss Ashley had killed herself last night. she never seemed like the type to do it. i was shocked, saddened, and honestly felt bad. we met at the royal oaks one night when i was already drunk. she tended bar there and her shift just ended, so she decided to stick around for a drink. she told me we had met before at the nyabinghi and made out in the bathroom and how great it was. great that i was bold enough to just ask her if she wanted to and great that i delivered on it. i must have been too drunk to remember that. i went along with it. i said of course i remember then excused myself to the bathroom and asked Matt who she was. “Ashley. from nyabinghi. miss Ashley” when i came back she said how great that would be to happen again. just not giving a drunk fuck, i grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into me in the middle of the bar. she was flushed.
we sat down and talked about what we had just done and then went to my car. we made out for almost 45 minutes and the bar had closed and matt was tapping on my window. she pulled her skirt back down, put her jacket on, and got out. we exchanged numbers, kissed, got in our cars and left. the next few winter months were spent at her house. it was so cold outside and in my house, but her house was always so nice. we’d go out and take turns buying each other dinner, showing each other our secret spots; i took her to golden hunan for black pepper beef, she took me to amen corner for Friday fish, etc… we sat under blankets and watched Rosanne, while i did my homework. it was so cold outside and in my house, but her house was always so nice. we fucked while listening to old hardcore records and sometimes i’d put on sonic youth. i always said i knew the band and loved them, even when i didn’t know who they were. we drank beers and talked about underground hip hop. what did happen to def jux and the next men?
before working at the royal oaks, she was a dancer at one of those classy strip clubs. that’s all anyone knew about her and i could feel it when we went out. i didn’t hold her hand at cedars. she was hurt and asked why and i couldn’t tell her “because you’re a stripper”. she got fired from the oaks and had to start dancing again. i stopped seeing her and the whole thing faded away. i didn’t want to be known as dating a stripper. I’m such a shallow asshole. i wasn’t in love, but it’s not like i didn’t have feelings.
even a few months later, when i felt so low, she came and sat in the dark and listened to nirvana with me to comfort me. we both sang along to drain you. even after i started dating another girl, i dreaded running into her because the sex was so good. it’s almost a year from when i started seeing her and i don’t feel good about any of it still. she had another boy after me, sure, i had girls. i know it’s no ones fault. i can associate with hopelessness. everyone can. i can’t associate with suicide. i hope no one can. I’m sorry.”
one of the most horrible things about getting out of a relationship is being at a party and not having your eye on anyone as a potential make-out or sexy rendezvous. it is in that moment you realize ‘i am truly alone’. sure, you can rationalize it in different ways like ‘you’re never really alone when you have your friends around’ or ‘you’re not alone if you’re in close proximity to other human beings who are making direct eye contact and speaking with you’. or, ‘like hey, what if i was at this party alone cuz my bf was out of town or something?’ well, he’s not. you’re single! who knows where your bf is? cuz you don’t have one and your ex is probably fucking a 17 year old boy, i mean girl, somewhere.
you are alone in the sense that- you have no one who is one phone call away- willing/able/actually excited/maybe even generally interested in listening to all your boring, i mean personal, stories/woes/rants/daily sagas. you have no one to check in with. your mom and bff don’t count. i mean they do, but that’s not what i’m talking about.
tonight i went to a party and i was excited. that’s the great thing about being single- you never know what’s gonna happen or who you’re gonna meet. (that’s ACTUALLY the great thing about life in general. you just ‘never know’- good OR bad!) but you also have to prepare for it to be a bust too! and tonight, romantically speaking- it was. BUT i met great women and was comfortable in my skin and all that. i had a nice time. i did. for the first time, i didn’t make the night a winning situation ONLY if i put my attention on some cute guy and conquered him for the evening. whether conquering means making out/sexxing/gaining approval via attention/ or whatevs! no guy there ‘did it’ for me, and that was actually ok.
i still haven’t had sex since my break up. when was that again? about a month and a half ago? i hadn’t had sex two weeks prior to the break up either! shit, so it’s been like two months!? holy shit! i’m dying over here! i am a living, breathing example of how women need/want/crave sex too! I’m not saying I’ve been an angel. I’ve totally done everything but have sexxx- but being finger blasted and oral sexxx is just not the same.
I’ve changed since the ‘me’ before my last relationship. i don’t want to get naked with some random dude. (ok, maybe a few) I’m a girl who’s not super ugly. I’m not gonna lie- I’ve had opportunities. it could have already happened- but i feel like I’m a virgin all over again and I’m waiting for the PERFECT person to take my new-found virginity. i also REALLY don’t want to get herpes aids cancer aids.
more and more i need the guy i have sex with or even fool around with to be someone i can talk to; i have to actually give a fuck what he has to say; i need him to be/seem GENUINLY interested in me; and who is someone i can be/feel safe with. even if he isn’t the one- i need someone to know/think I’m special. someone who gets me- before he can be inside me. what’s that saying? a friend with benefits? (ugh. i can’t believe i just typed that.) and i’m learning that THAT is rare to find. so, until then, i will keep busy with work, spend time with my friends, and touch my privates all on my own. and at least when i finger blast myself, i’ll have the courtesy to wash my hands first!