Sometimes i love men. a lot of times i love men. oh fuck it, even when they’re MEAN to me- I’m STILL intrigued! I’m boycrazy remember? but here’s a specific example of something i love that men do. not all men, but a lot of men-maybe even MOST men do this: they get shit done. yes, women do too. Jesus, calm the fuck down. but the thing I’m talking about is when completing a task turns into some life or death mission that only they can solve without asking anyone for help. (it sound like I’m talking about that age old cliche of a man not wanting to ask for directions. and i guess this is a version of that, but shut the fuck up, i’m on a power rant!) it’s like they have something to prove. like they almost go kuh-razy mental over it. like they’re in a trance. fixated on the goal. it means too much to stop and not WIN! whether it’s making a girl cum, fixing a car, or building something! a man gets his mind set on something and he MUST prove that he can do it and he WON’T stop till it’s done. between you and me, I’LL probably just burst into tears and leave my baby (if and when i ever have one) on the side of the road if i get confused on how the diaper changing process works. but that’s just me. I’m sensitive, moody, and let’s face it- hard stuff is hard.
so why are men like this? I’m sure there are a lot of bad things that go hand in hand with this kind of behavior. ego/pride/machismo/not being able to admit defeat/anger/rage, blah blah blah, i don’t give a fuck! you know why? cuz the end result is that the task at hand gets done… even if everything else is ignored and put on the back burner- like eating, sex, watching a TV show, or being paid. for example; tonight i was feeling all annoyed and aggravated “boo hoo me! my website is all topsy turvey and fucked up and jumbled! wahhhh! my banner ads are down! how are people supposed to buy stuff from American Apparel if not from my b l o g?!” when low and behold, i got an e-mail from a web guru saint here on our very own planet earth who offered his services to me! NO WAY! YES WAY!
for some reason, i felt like i could trust him… so i called! we had mutual (super cool) friends, so giving him my secret pass codes didn’t seem too wildly crazy. and for OVER an hour we stayed on the phone while he was DETERMINED to fix my site! it was better than phone sex! he was re-installing my plug ins, and adjusting the length of my banner ads! it doesn’t get any sexier than that! did i mention he was in another state, where it was about 2 hours later? well, i just did! PLUS, he had a WAY foxy voice that kept me from getting all bored with computer talk! PLUS, he could talk AND type at the same time, like a robot alien! quite frankly, his wizardly know how/capability to get shit done was a fucking turn on!
my site is now fixed, and you know what that warrants? a mother fucking tribute post! a tribute to a man taking care of business, getting shit done, and keeping my tears from hitting the floor! this is a lesson to men in general: when you get shit done and you make a woman’s life better/ easier…. whatever! WHEN YOU ARE A FACILITATOR OF DREAMS, and she feels like a damsel in distress being RESCUED (the BEING RESCUED part is the most important! don’t just let/make her feel like a damsel in distress you jerk! what’s the matter with you?) she’ll be the happiest and most fulfilled girl you can imagine. so stop wasting your time working on your manorexia and looking for the perfect plaid shirt (even though i do advocate the wearing of a simple plaid button down) and learn something that separates you from the rest. learn how to make a woman feel like a woman.
ps: thank you philip! you’re my hero!
pps: thank you addison! thank you joe digital!