help wanted:

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if anyone out there actually reads this blog, likes it, or maybe even LOVES it and wants to be part of something they appreciate-where they could learn and be inspired…. i’m looking for interns to help build and grow imboycrazy.com:

various positions/working as little as one day a week is fine:

• i need street teamers to put up stickers and hand out buttons EVERYWHERE and ANYWHERE to EVERYONE. at clubs, on the street. in the valley, downtown, hollywood, wherevs!

• i need help with e-mails, and managing all the social networking sites that exist for imboycrazy.

• various errands, listening to me rant, getting me coffee, and getting excited about stupid  awesome shit.

• and if nothing else- tell at least one person you know about imboycrazy.com, and you will have done enough!

if interested in any of the above, please contact me @ [email protected]

thanks for helping spread the word about imboycrazy.com

i love you and look forward to hearing from you.

update: just to be clear-

•if you don’t live in hollywood, but you wanna help out – that’s great!

just e-mail me your mailing address to [email protected]

and i’ll send you buttons and stickers WHEREVER you are in the world! just PROMISE you won’t throw them in the garbage and that you’ll put them up everywhere!

•if you DO live in or around hollywood AND want to work on marketing, street teaming, branding, e-mailing, throwing parties, silk screening totes/t shirts, or whatever you think you can bring to the table as far as expanding imboycrazy and getting the word out so people read it- e-mail me! include your name, area you live in, phone #, what you think you’d be good at, what you’d be happy doing/learning about/ and taking part in! xoxoxo

the blind leading the blind – part 18:

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1. don’t write ‘xo’ unless you mean ‘xo’!

2. hey, do yourself a favor and DON’T buy toilet paper in public! What the fuck are you trying to prove here?! do i need to hold your hand as you walk through life with your head up your ass? because, i won’t do it! i just won’t.

3. a trough of salad is still a trough. And pigs feed at a trough.

4. if something /ANYTHING resembling cottage cheese is pouring out of your vadge hole OR dick hole- it’s time to start considering wearing looser pants, having PROTECTED sex, and/or going to the fucking doctor! you oozing monster privates! Jesus!

5. eating in your car while it’s parked in the trader joes/whole foods parking lot is N0T pathetic. It’s what I call, keeping it casual.

6. if a dude walks out on you when you’re newly  preggers- he’s either a total piece of shit OR you’re a rotten jerk. Either way, someone has a lot of inner work to do. Good luck… to the BABY!

7. i don’t care if you’re a Buddhist wearing a robe- if you pull into the parking space next to me, open your door, and ding my car WHILE I’m SITTING in it- I’m gonna call you out!

8. don’t be dull.

9. when you’re sleeping, if you turn over and reposition your head on the pillow- your dream will change direction too.

10. words are JUST words and people fake smiles all the time! just like YOU think one thing and say another, so does everybody else. don’t believe/buy into everything at face value. If you believe all the GOOD stuff, you’ll have to believe all the BAD stuff. try to remain grounded, solid, and secure in your skin. and don’t give others the power to change your mood.

racism sux – part 2:

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i wondered how young black dudes and dudettes felt about being a twenty something nowadays and dealing with racial tension, especially in the indie/American apparel/hipster social scene. black girls who like white dudes, white girls who like black dudes. what are the underlined feelings and issues that arise? when will this heavy feeling go away? and how come someone can refer to me as ‘white’ and it’s no big deal, but if you refer to someone as ‘black’, you take the chance of them being offended? why is that taken in a negative way? the worst part about it, is that it’s a case by case scenario. so, since there are no rules, you never know who you’re going to offend.

my heritage is Russian and German. but i was born in America. but you don’t refer to me as ‘Russian american’. so, why do we have to say ‘african american’? i was told it’s because all black people originate from Africa and that they didn’t leave because they wanted to- that they were taken as slaves and by calling them ‘African american’ it acknowledges this. it’s a matter of respect. but how politically correct do we need to be nowadays? what’s the general consensus? teach me what i should do. none of this is written in a hateful way. all of this is meant in a loving, trying to figure it all out kinda way.

and ‘white’ people have to stop being afraid to use the word ‘black’. do you, or anyone you know, ever do that avoidance dance by saying ANYTHING else they can to describe what someone looks like, without saying the word ‘black’? and when they finally DO (because ‘black’ is the ONLY descriptive word left that can be used in a situation because there happen to be two dudes who are tall, wearing a blue sweater, jeans, and are brunette at the party) they say ‘(full voice) he’s the (whisper) ‘black’ (full voice again) guy.’ this has got to stop! I’m sorry, i don’t have any negative connotation with the word black, and i don’t have any negative connotation with the word white. they are just descriptive terms. how i JUDGE people is by their actions, personality, and attitude towards me. this is on a person to person basis.

here’s an e-mail from a black girl who reads my blog. i told her i wanted to write a piece on contemporary racism and reverse racism that exists in indie culture between young people nowadays. it’s epic and says it all:

“Actually I think if you wrote about racism as honestly as you possibly could that would be fantastic, especially since it is still unfortunately prominent today. For me and my sister it kinda blows because my mom has always taught us just to like, be carefree and love who you want and all that and try to treat everyone the way you want to be treated and whatever zen mantra you could think of, mind you my mom had me at a young age and was a total club kid so we were raised a bit differently which I am so thankful for!!!

Alot of young black kids are all about thug life and that’s fine, but not all black people are like that! I feel like I am constantly judged by white people AND black people and it truly pisses me off and here is why: I get judged by older white people, which isn’t right but understandable because they grew up in the fifties or whatever and their moms and dads were racists, so I get it- but it makes me sad. I think I am pretty awesome and for Christ’s sake I’m not going to rob anyone so don’t look all weird at me when you see me. Also, the black people have an issue with me because they say i ‘sound white’ and the clothing i wear and the music i like. they don’t understand- so they think I’m white. i mean, my grandparents and aunts even say ‘oh, she’s kinda different’ and they are my own fucking family!! Are you serious!? My sister is the same way, but she is more of a tomboy, she into like, i dunno death metal (whatever, it’s her world) but we share the same issues as a whole.

I have a lot of white girlfriends and alot of black girlfriends, but they don’t hang out together. it’s like I have to like jay-z with one group and Uffie with the other group, soooo annoying! So I end up hanging out by myself. That can be dangerous in a good or bad way. But, while I’m on the topic, me being black sometimes gets in the way of trying to find a new mate. like I said, the boys on your site are what I’m into- but I like all guys; black, white, Spanish, Italian, whatevs. It’s just hard because if I see a guy I like, my first thought is ‘oh boy, is he even down with the ‘ebony persuasion’ or am I wasting my time?’ The first white guy I dated, I was head over heels for. he was very intriguing and was in a band and just like sooo gorge! Super pale skin tone reddish brownish hair and a lot of tattoos and he was so sweet to me and I was super into him. He introduced me to his friends and at first they were sweet to my face but I could tell they were giving him a look like ‘is she Spanish or is she black or what?’ His brother also felt compelled to listen to rap or r&b around me, which wasn’t bad, but it felt forced- like that’s all we could relate to or that’s all I listened to or something, which was very weird because he knew I liked a lot of other things.

Eventually me and the hot redhead just remained friends, but it sucks that it’s hard for a girl like me to find a guy like me and not have race be an issue. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’m black. I’m proud of it! but damn! I am sure I’d have to work twice as hard to get the guys you interview (other than Rickey Kim) because of my skin tone. I’m 5’8 and I weigh 120lbs, so I know it’s not because I’m a fat ass and I haven’t been beaten with an ugly stick (at least I think not) so what the fuck?! Okay wow this email got very long winded but um if you want me to elaborate more or if you have a specific question about this topic or anything else feel free to ask! I have a terribly bad habit of rambling… Keep up the great work!!

ps: I just wanted to say that tonight I went out with my white friends and the white guy I liked- my white friend got with!! He looked at me and realized I wasn’t spanish and totally blew me off!! Put that as an example is your race post!!! I have a case of the sads!!! Sorry alexi for emailing you wayy late, just wanted to let you know.”

racism sux:

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hi. my name is Alexi Wasser. i don’t know if you know this, but i am white. i’m practically see through. I’m not a ghost haunting you, or following you down the street. I’m just a person. a really pale person. Conan O’Brien could be my father. I’d prefer it if he was my husband, but he’s married and my crush on him is another post all together. the other day, while i was walking around my neighborhood, i stopped in a shop and happened to know the guy who worked there. he was not white, he was not black, he was not Asian. he was something else. I’m not sure what his ethnicity was exactly, so i won’t try to label him. he was a babe, but so far, that’s not ethnicity exclusive. he was talking to an Asian guy. a video of two dudes wrestling or skate boarding or something played on the TV screen, mounted to the wall above us. the shop dude wanted to show me a vimeo video on his laptop.

while i was watching the video, a black dude walked in. the black dude asked the shop dude who the guy on the TV screen was. the shop dude replied “i don’t know. some Asian dude.” he said this in a completely non sarcastic, straightforward way. and even though i was watching the vimeo, because I’m not deaf, i shivered. this could go either way. the shop dude had set up a perfect scenario for someone to be offended. isn’t there a difference between using the words Asian, white, black, Latino, etc to describe what someone looks like in a crowd- and using them in a racist manner? this was no time for logic. i was already feeling guilty and i hadn’t done anything wrong. I’m not even sure if the shop guy had done anything wrong. all i know is that by describing someone by their ethnicity alone, he was setting himself up for trouble.

i was right. the black dude said “oh, he’s an Asian dude?” he lifted the Asian dudes shirt up and said “Is that you? you’re Asian. you must be the same guy on the TV screen. he’s just some Asian dude.” holy shit. the shop guy had triggered some gnarly shit that was weighing quite heavily in the black dudes soul and because of all my white guilt, i wanted to hug the black guy and say “I’m so sorry. he didn’t mean it. i love black people. people are not ONLY their race. duh?! I’m sure the shop guy didn’t mean any harm!” but i didn’t. i tried to mind my own business. this wasn’t about me. this was about the black dude and shop dude. but mainly the black dude was projecting all his internal issues with a group of three young people in a shop that hadn’t done anything wrong.. really.

well, at least i tried to mind my own business – that is, until the black dude pointed at his white gf/wife whatever she was, who was at the other end of the store shopping with their kids, looked at me and shouted “Are you two related?!” i was shocked. wtf? i was watching a fucking vimeo. i looked up, looked the black dude in the eye, and looked at his white gf/wife and said “huh?” he repeated himself “i said, are you related to her? you two look the same!” i stood there, dumbfounded. my worst nightmare was coming true. i was straight up being accused of being racist. and i hadn’t even said anything remotely stupid and cavalier like the shop dude had. how did i get dragged into this? i should have just laughed, but my white guilt and need to be liked took over. so instead, i said “are you asking me if we’re related because we’re both white?” the black guy nodded. that’s when i knew i should/could have taken the high road and been an adult. but I’m Alexi, i don’t know how to do that most of the time… unless I’m being paid. than i can be totally logical and rational. at a crossroads of ways to respond, i finally picked a road and shouted “i am NOT racist! i’m not racist! what did i do? what did i do?” it was like bad middle school theatre.

the black dude yelled to everyone in the store (including his family, which i thought was super inapro-pro) “i guess all all mother-fuckin’ ni**ers look the same! fuckin’ bullshit!” holy shit! he said the ‘n’ word. hard ‘r’ and everything. i was shocked. i couldn’t handle it. i told the shop dude goodbye and left immediately. for some reason, i still had the urge to win over this crazy dude- but i kept walking and blew off some steam at urban outfitters.

what was i feeling? a multitude of things. i realized, i live my life constantly worried that black people think i’m racist. and this day made me confront that. i suffer from reverse racism. i can walk down the street and not smile at a single white, Asian, Latino person that crosses my path, but the minute i see a black person, i feel the need to exude warmth and smile so they know that i am NOT  racist. why do i do this? I’m pretty sure it’s because my dad is 22% racist. not in an ‘i want to kill black people/ ku-klux- klan’ kinda way, just the occasional insulting joke. which to me is pretty fucking fucked up enough. i also always got the impression that he wouldn’t want me to date or marry a black dude. i had black friends growing up and he had friendships with black people and has taken amazing photos of Martin Luther king, etc. but, it was just this underlined ‘thing’ i felt was being taught and instilled in me. it didn’t stick and, instead, it made me not like my dad. which makes me sad. his behavior made me not like him. i don’t speak to my dad anymore, for a number of reasons. he made gay jokes too, just as much as he made comments about black people and cultural stereotypes.

all that aside- now, i have this whole reverse racism thing happening, and i’d like to find a happy medium and lose the guilt. once i even paid a house cleaner (who just happened to be black), even though she didn’t do a goddamn thing and I caught her sitting on my futon eating chips, watching TV when I got home. And not only did I pay her, I over tipped the shit out of her. That is an example of white guilt. how does this help ANYONE?  i am not racist. i like people. if you are nice to me and we get along, great. if we don’t, we don’t. it isn’t based on what your skin color is. I’ve been talking to a lot of my black friends (yeah i have black friends), and we’ve been discussing the struggles of racism that exist even now in 2009- and more specifically the problems that arise in this bizarro hipster culture that my target demographic exists in. after the shop encounter, one of my white friends said, “earth to Alexi, some black people just don’t like white people.” i was shocked. “what? why? how could they hate ME? what did i do?” i mean, of course i understand why black people would hate white people. i obviously understand that, which is why i feel so guilty and am so eager to please.

other things I’d like to get off my chest and get over- which stem from my being super white, is that i feel embarrassed listening to Lil Wayne in my car with the windows rolled down, because i think it just looks too retarded. but that’s a whole other post. i don’t think of Lil Wayne as ‘black music’ exclusively for black people. i listen to jazz and oldies and Motown and can have the windows down. i think the lil Wayne thing just has to do with the lifestyle he paints and how everything i look like, down to the car i drive has no place in that life style. i drive a scion, have a leggo haircut, and am so white i could be dead. me listening to gangsta rap looks ridiculous. i hope we can all agree on that. i will forever remain the white dude from office space when it comes to listening to rap. but i love Lil Wayne. he’s such a great lyricist…. and his voice makes me wanna sexxx. (to be continued)

My favorite Inglourious Basterd: OMAR DOOM!

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Ever heard of the phrase: jack of all trades, master of none? well that motto does NOT apply here! Meet Omar Doom! Jack of all trades and MASTER of all those trades! Yeah! Pow! Boom! he’s an actor, musician, painter, AND my new friend!

Omar is ALSO my FAVORITE bastard in the new Quentin Tarantino film: Inglourious Basterds’! run, don’t walk, to your local theatre cuz IT OPENS TONIGHT at midnight (and OFFICIALLY on friday). what’re you living under a rock or something?! get with the program!

ONLY see this film if you like stuff that’s great AND riveting. But if you see the movie, tell people what happens, and spoil the story- you’re dead to me! DEAD TO ME! that’s a promise! Who does that? Only ‘people hating’ people! That’s who! I WILL tell you this, Omar is AMAZERS! Not to mention- a hot fox, with beautiful lips, dark hair, and overall movie star quality/sexy vampire good looks!

trying to conduct this interview got a little difficult. first of all, the location we chose on Mulholland drive (famous for it’s beautiful view and romantic charm) was bombarded with super loud tourists! PLUS, sound wise, the wind didn’t help either! we ended up on the run from random sightseeing tour buses, in search of the perfect spot. did we ever find it? who knows, who cares- i was with OMAR! Watch as i invade his personal space while he tells me what goes on in and around his soul, what courses through his brain/veins, and if he thinks I’m pretty. you’re next Quentin. xo

PS: here’s omar’s favorite boycrazy blog post!

OMAR DOOM aka: MY FAVE INGLOURIOUS BASTERD! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

the blind leading the blind part 17:

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1. relationships get sloppy and crazy. you can’t be seen by someone else when you’re single. at least NOT the way you can when you’re in a serious relationship. (by ‘seen’ i mean letting someone get close enough to you and getting to know you enough to ‘see’ all your worst traits; your weaknesses; your anger; rage; hopelessness; wants; fears; needs; insecurities; demons. the side of you only your family knows or sees. when you scream and yell and are on your worst behavior; the real you, at your worst and most raw. at your ugliest and/or most vulnerable. that’s what i mean when i say- letting someone ‘see’ you.)

being ‘seen’ is hard, but if you are with someone you love- who’s worth it- you can work through it AND it will make you STRONGER! besides, if you don’t open up and let yourself be ‘seen’ by the person you’re with now, you’re just going to have to deal with it in the next relationship you’re in.

2. i don’t mean to state the obvious but: tote bags SCREAM ‘youth’! So hurry up and buy one today!

3. when hanging out with a new guy you like… do your
best NOT to talk about twittering, face-booking and whatever other
social networking you may be doing lately (he does not give a fuck how
many hits your band got or who follows your twits)… and PLEASE bitch,
put the phone away … that text from Cathy about going to whole foods
later can wait if you actually enjoy spending face time with another
human being. -courtesy of Jason Dill.

4. don’t use antiperspirants. they cause cancer. just plain DEODORANT is ok though – like toms of Maine or the crystal.

5. eat watermelon! It’s fucking awesome.

6. stop saying fuck so much. Especially in public. Let’s face it, it makes you look like a sloppy derelict!

7. pumice your heels you monster! if you wanna wear flip flops, it’s just part of the deal!

8. dont you dare go to a day spa, which involves soaking in a community pool- when there is blood gushing out of your vagina. This isn’t ok. you yucky monster! Use your common sense. And trying to fake people out by tucking in your tampon string isn’t ok either. What if you had aids?

9. whatever you do, don’t talk on your phone while you’re driving! Not even on speaker with one hand! Eventually you will be pulled over by a copper!

10. if you DO happen to go against this advice, and you DO get pulled over: hopefully you will be wearing a sundress. Push your boobs together nonchalantly, pull your dress up a teeny tiny bit to reveal a hint of thigh, keep saying I’m sorry and that you’ve learned your lesson. Then, if all else fails, ask to interview him for your blog. It worked for me.

i said i would do this for you (PART 2)- AKA: let me break up with your boyfriend!

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So, a few weeks ago, i said i would help you.

last week i started to deliver your messages.

today i have a few more deliveries!

steven gained weight: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

for jade: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

sloppy monster: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

the boys of american apparel:

well, i found another one! a hot babe who works at american apparel! except THIS one has a super kuh-razy thick moustache and abs of steel! I’m almost afraid to tell you which store he works at, because you might try to spy on him… oh all-right: THE MELROSE STORE!  his name is Nate! he kinda reminds me of this guy, in terms of where he’s at emotionally/and how he feels about dating at this point in his life..

it was love at first sight. he asked me if he could help me with anything. ANYTHING? i took one look at him and said “can i get you for my b l o g?”  he acted like he didn’t know what i was talking about, and went along with it. but later he told me he knew exactly who i was (whatever the fuck that means), what my site was all about, and that we were even face book friends. some might think  he sounds creepyly stalker-ish… but to me, it’s  my FAVORITE way of being wooed!  i think, in the end, I may have come on too strong. you be the judge. i should probably take a break from the melrose store anyways! besides,  i haven’t visited the new one in malibu yet! omg, American Apparel beach babes? i can’t wait! xo

ps: i’m looking for dov! if you’re reading this mister…. i think you should let me interview you!

a man got it done:

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Sometimes i love men. a lot of times i love men. oh fuck it, even when they’re MEAN to me- I’m STILL intrigued! I’m boycrazy remember? but here’s a specific example of something i love that men do. not all men, but a lot of men-maybe even MOST men do this: they get shit done. yes, women do too. Jesus, calm the fuck down. but the thing I’m talking about is when completing a task turns into some life or death mission that only they can solve without asking anyone for help. (it sound like I’m talking about that age old cliche of a man not wanting to ask for directions. and i guess this is a version of that, but shut the fuck up, i’m on a power rant!) it’s like they have something to prove. like they almost go kuh-razy mental over it. like they’re in a trance. fixated on the goal. it means too much to stop and not WIN! whether it’s making a girl cum, fixing a car, or building something! a man gets his mind set on something and he MUST prove that he can do it and he WON’T stop till it’s done. between you and me, I’LL probably just burst into tears and leave my baby (if and when i ever have one) on the side of the road if i get confused on how the diaper changing process works. but that’s just me. I’m sensitive, moody, and let’s face it- hard stuff is hard.

so why are men like this? I’m sure there are a lot of bad things that go hand in hand with this kind of  behavior. ego/pride/machismo/not being able to admit defeat/anger/rage, blah blah blah, i don’t give a fuck! you know why? cuz the end result is that the task at hand gets done… even if everything else is ignored and put on the back burner- like eating, sex, watching a TV show, or being paid. for example; tonight i was feeling all annoyed and aggravated “boo hoo me! my website is all topsy turvey and fucked up and jumbled! wahhhh! my banner ads are down! how are people supposed to buy stuff from American Apparel if not from my b l o g?!” when low and behold, i got an e-mail from a web guru saint here on our very own planet earth who offered his services to me! NO WAY! YES WAY!

for some reason, i felt like i could trust him… so i called! we had mutual (super cool) friends, so giving him my secret pass codes didn’t seem too wildly crazy. and for OVER an hour we stayed on the phone while he was DETERMINED to fix my site! it was better than phone sex!  he was re-installing my plug ins, and adjusting the length of my banner ads! it doesn’t get any sexier than that! did i mention he was in another state, where it was about 2 hours later? well, i just did! PLUS, he had a WAY foxy voice that kept me from getting all bored with computer talk! PLUS, he could talk AND type at the same time, like a robot alien! quite frankly, his wizardly know how/capability to get shit done was a fucking turn on!

my site is now fixed, and you know what that warrants? a mother fucking tribute post! a tribute to a man taking care of business, getting shit done, and keeping my tears from hitting the floor! this is a lesson to men in general: when you get shit done and you make a woman’s life better/ easier…. whatever! WHEN YOU ARE A FACILITATOR OF DREAMS, and she feels like a damsel in distress being RESCUED (the BEING RESCUED part is the most important! don’t just let/make her feel like a damsel in distress you jerk! what’s the matter with you?) she’ll be the happiest and most fulfilled girl you can imagine. so stop wasting your time working on your manorexia and looking for the perfect plaid shirt (even though i do advocate the wearing of a simple plaid button down) and learn something that separates you from the rest. learn how to make a woman feel like a woman.

ps: thank you philip! you’re my hero!

pps: thank you addison! thank you joe digital!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

you asked me to do this for you (part 1):

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a few weeks ago i offered my services to you. you wrote me e-mails telling me your problems and asked me to serve as a tool to help you communicate. i got so many e-mails i freaked out. it was a bit overwhelming. enough to make me change my e-mail address. but, last night , i pulled it together and answered a handful in a row. hope this helps. don’t worry, no one knows who I’m speaking to. everyone is anonymous. only the person who wrote me the e-mail knows who I’m talking to/about… and you can decide if you want to alert your friend or NOT. i love you!

it’s over, little privates/cheater! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

bad teacher from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

dick bartender: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.



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