trend report: summer boobs

the boys of american apparel:

well, i found another one! a hot babe who works at american apparel! except THIS one has a super kuh-razy thick moustache and abs of steel! I’m almost afraid to tell you which store he works at, because you might try to spy on him… oh all-right: THE MELROSE STORE!  his name is Nate! he kinda reminds me of this guy, in terms of where he’s at emotionally/and how he feels about dating at this point in his life..

it was love at first sight. he asked me if he could help me with anything. ANYTHING? i took one look at him and said “can i get you for my b l o g?”  he acted like he didn’t know what i was talking about, and went along with it. but later he told me he knew exactly who i was (whatever the fuck that means), what my site was all about, and that we were even face book friends. some might think  he sounds creepyly stalker-ish… but to me, it’s  my FAVORITE way of being wooed!  i think, in the end, I may have come on too strong. you be the judge. i should probably take a break from the melrose store anyways! besides,  i haven’t visited the new one in malibu yet! omg, American Apparel beach babes? i can’t wait! xo

ps: i’m looking for dov! if you’re reading this mister…. i think you should let me interview you!

PART 2: mark ‘THE COBRASNAKE’ hunter speaks!

yellowspeedo

So, HOPEFULLY,  you saw part one YESTERDAY! well, here’s part 2 assholes! I actually PREFER part 2. It gets a bit looser. we talk about boobs, dungeons and dragons, being an ass master, and we finally get to talking about MY boobs, and the anal sexxx!

He’s STILL in the hammock, but his lips are moving more. And what’s coming out of them is WAY more exciting than yesterday! I’ve seen mark around town for years, but I’ve never touched his soul or anything, until NOW! Witness the first steps into our newly blossoming friendly acquaintance! Just me and mark ‘the cobrasnake‘ hunter. L.y.l.a.s! Xoxo

deep inside the factory – american apparel:

oh my goodness. so, i did it! i had my FIRST visit to the American apparel factory in downtown Los Angeles. HQ if you will; where ALL the magic happens. it was a little daunting. not only is there a huge American apparel store NEXT to the actual factory, where i spent 2 hours shopping and trying on sample pieces that aren’t available at the regular stores- but there were a whole SLEW of awesome man babes lurking about. tall, short, blond, brunette- looking busy AND official in a skinny, aloof, somewhat androgynous kinda way. i was in heaven. clothes and boys! wheeeee! it was like a modern day willy wonka chocolate factory for a girl who’s lies about being lactose intolerant cuz she’s always on a diet! 


i was nervous. i felt out of place- which i kinda was, cuz i don’t actually work at the factory- but my friend Lisa Kim was kind enough to invite me in with open arms, give me a tour and then have a gossip sesh with me over 50 cent coffee in the cafeteria that is EXACTLY like an elementary school/junior high caf. right down to the covered outdoor seating area and post modern style community tables with built in benches, that’ll probably be the ‘it’ piece and cost a fortune in about twenty years! 

but back to the point; please join me on my first and DEFINITELY NOT last trip to the American apparel factory. I’ve only just begun to collect all the boys that are hidden inside. gay, straight, unsure….i love you ALL and am coming after you. so be prepared to be interviewed! you look fabulous! how could you not? you’re wearing American apparel! maybe one day I’ll even interview Dov…………xoxo

deep inside the factory – american apparel: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

the boy who ACTUALLY likes crime scene sex:

oh my fucking god! the hills was OFF the the motherfucking chain last night! that shizzzz was fucking AWESOME! 

*spoiler alert, spoiler alert: the bar fight, the new characters, a more likable lo, audrina’s make-up is less severe, lo and audrina friendly with one another, Brody and Spencer face to face! what the fuck???

as usual i sang the theme song aloud, alone to myself with feeling, emphasis and pride. like a true champion who should know better but has an intense loyalty to her show! 

speaking of LOYALTY: for the first time, i understood what spencer meant when he challenged Stephani’s family loyalty! i’ve never been on his side before, but what kind of sister shows a third party text to her brother’s fiance! even though, Spencer WAS flirting! (i mean who are we kidding?) but it’s not like he has a website called imGIRLcrazy or anything geeze!

AND: did everyone see my friend CHARLIE on the hills last night?! if you missed it, you’re a SICK masochist!

i think i can hear my gay dude neighbors talking about Heidi, Spencer and the bartender! i almost wanna run over right now in no bra and just my flimsy nightgown, knock on their door and scream “my FRIEND is on the hills! the hills!” but i can’t, because a small small part of me has logical restraint.

NOW, onto my next topic:  this is Freddy. the other day i went facebook crazy. i requested everyone & anyone who looked familiar, goodlooking, young, had a cool name and/or bangin’ default pic! freddy was one of these people. he wrote to me; told me we’d met 7 years prior and had seen eachother around town ever since, but really never spoke. i was at the 101 cafe one night and facebooked him back saying “if you’re near the 101, swing by and i’ll interview you.” 

NOT ONLY DID HE SHOW UP….. BUT HE RODE THERE ON HIS BIKE!! Freddy is a sweetheart. a lovely man. but one thing stuck out in his interview! something that made that bike ride and my decision to facebook him TOTALLY worth it! enjoy! xoxo

boycrazy video- the boy who actually LIKES crime scene sex! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

the boys of american apparel:

he’s sexy, english AND the manager of the melrose AMERICAN APPAREL! excuse me?! does it get any better?! hear him speak, watch his lips move as they enunciate basic thoughts and ideas that make you quiver just cuz he’s soooo cute! THEN go find him for yourself and ask him on a date! he’s gorge!!!! that’s slang for the word GORGEOUS!!!! seriously. notice how weird my voice sounds during the interview, THAT’S HOW NERVOUS I WAS TALKING TO HIM! ALL BECAUSE OF HIS DARK, BROODING INTENSITY! need i say more? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, just watch the video already! xoxo

the boys of american apparel #3: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

excuse me,what?:

boycrazy bullshit post: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

after being asked the question “what’s something you hate about girls?”, this is what one young man replied with. short and sweet. i love how boys have the ability to get to the goddamn point.

***************UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE************************
I’M SOOO SORRY! I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY AUDACITY. HOW THE FUCK DARE I PUT UP SUCH A BULLSHIT BLOG POST?! 4 SECONDS OF VIDEO??? (I GUESS I JUST REALLY LIKED THE WALLPAPER BEHIND HIM). 

YOU’RE BETTER THAN THAT! I’M BETTER THAN THAT! WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I THINK I AM? I GOT LAZY! I MAKE A LIVING FROM SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLOGGING AND THAT BECAME MY PRIORITY. I’VE BEEN UP WAY PAST MY BEDTIME FOR THE PAST FEW NIGHTS AND I TRIED TO GET AWAY WITH BEING LAZY! 

LAST NIGHT I WAS ANXIOUS AND CONFUSED AND FEELING BAD AND DID SURGERY ON MY FACE WITH TWEEZERS. DON’T WORRY, I’M STILL BEAUTIFUL, BUT NOW IN AN ENTIRELY OFF PUTTING WAY. 

I’D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR E-MAILS, TELLING ME HOW UNFAIR AND LAME THIS POST WAS, HOW THEY WANTED AND DESERVE MORE! AND YOU’RE ALL COMPLETELY RIGHT! NEXT TIME I WILL PUT THE TWEEZERS DOWN, STOP LOOKING AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN PEOPLE AND THEIR INFECTIOUS DRAMA CAUSING ME TO FEEL UNSETTLED…AND I WILL BLOG LIKE I HAVE NEVER BLOGGED BEFORE. I MAY BE A MONSTER…BUT AT LEAST I’M YOUR MONSTER. xoxo lylas

the boys of american apparel:

Recently, like a traitor to my people, I’ve started working out. i hate exercise- EXCEPT in the form of sex & ab crunches only as a byproduct of giving blow jobs (the ones where you’re lying on your back and the dude’s above you-you know what I’m talking about!) so working out in any other way shape or form is totally out of my comfort zone. 

I’ll ONLY do exercise that lets me wear flip flops to bare feet and leggings! I’m not into ANYTHING that might force me to cross the sleek lines of leggings & hooters shorts & a light 50 cotton 50 poly deep v OR an easy breezy Sebastian Tellier sexuality tank WITH super dorky, ugly, monster sized, clunky sneakers. no thank you!!! 

so, with that deep rooted decision having been made, I’m only able to do Pilate’s and/or yoga. SO BE IT! this is obviously gods intention for me. 

I haven’t had pizza in 5 years and I’m still not as fit as I’d like to be…so i gotta fucking start exercising. but you know what REALLY inspires me? PICKING THE OUTFIT FOR EACH AND EVERY WORKOUT SESH WITH MY SUPER SEXY HOT BABE TRAINER!!! 

Who knew you could shop for tote bags, work out gear and LOVE- all in one place? AMERICAN FUCKING APPAREL! next to the apple store (there will be an entire post dedicated to that place SOON), whole foods and a rave…this place is MAN MECCA!

And on an early morning visit to an American Apparel on main street in Santa Monica California (there’s even a starbucks across the street- can you handle it muthah-fuckahs), i got side tracked during my ‘work out gear shopping quest’ by the gleam of an adorable young shop boys braces in my peripheral vision. i bought what i needed, then dragged the dude into a quiet corner to have a chat. xo

boycrazy- the boys of american apparel #2: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

dude of the day!!!!!

Who the hell is this guy? And what was he doing at space 1520 on cahuenga??? Why did I waste so much money flying overseas (London, Paris, Italy, Hamburg and all over Switzerland) to have romantic rendezvous’ with exotic looking dudes who barely speak English, don’t feel the need to bathe on a daily basis, and have sex all epic and animal like- when I could’ve stayed in my hometown with this guy! LOOK AT HIS FUCKING PILLOW CUSHION LIPS! I’m sorry; I just fainted, what’s happening? Oh yeah…from what I can remember, when I was taking his pic, this guy spoke English (that’s a bonus, right?), but I couldn’t hear a word he said. 


He had holes in his sweater; his hands were all rugged and rough! And the best part: he SMELLED European. LOOK AT HIS SKIN. It’s all olivey toned! and those eyes that look so deep and sad. Lets face it. This dude would fuck the shit out of you! I’m just worried that he might be too nice (Is there such a thing? YES!) and end up falling in love with you. If you meet this dude in person, let him prove me wrong. But you can still let him fuck the shit of you. What’s that phrase? ‘Fuck till you bleed’? Anywayzies, it’s the least he can do.

the boys of american apparel:

this boy is adorable! i don’t know if it’s cuz he’s young, has super long hair or what?! it could be a million different things combined! i’ve seen him at the store he works at for a while and he’s always a sweetheart, in a good mood, free of a bad attitude. he got a bit camera shy, which is even cuter. looking back, i feel like a monster with my questions…but he said he’d be interviewed! so this is more an example of yet another cute boy that exists in the world and more specifically…one that works on melrose. at least on this site, you not only get to LOOK at a cute boy, you get to HEAR him speak and get a tiny sense of his personality too. in this case, i think he’s just trying to get away from me/regretting his decision to let me interview him…but a cute boy talking nonetheless! xo

the boys of american apparel- long haired beauty: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.



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