I told him, when I met his parents for the first time, how it made me squirm a bit. he was another guy I had fallen in love with and this was another family I’d get close to. If it didn’t work out- and obviously it eventually didn’t- I would have opened myself up to another group of people who i’d have to say goodbye to; friends and family.

Now, looking back, it stings- especially when I think back to the day my most recent ex and I broke up. him saying that he didn’t talk about our break up with his dad because his dad would have just been harsh towards ME and that his step mom advised him not to see me in person- after we’d broken up over the phone. Wow. Then when I called his friend that I’ve only ever been friendly with- who I’d consoled (via the phone) while he cried about his life and options and choices/who told me I made his relationship with (insert my ex’s name here) better and that he hoped we stay together forever- when I called him to get some advice and was in a bad place and needed to talk one human being to another- this friend of the ex snapped at me and told me he would have broken up with me two weeks into the relationship if he had been MY boyfriend- with all the tests and games I pulled with (ex).

Huh? Had he been in the relationship with me? No. Had I only ever been loving towards him? Yes. Didn’t he know how emotionally closed off his friend/my ex could be? I thought so. He should. Wow. This was a wake up call. Never consider your bf’s friends your own. Their friends are their friends. And their family is their family.

Later- when the ex and I were amicabley broken up, he said not to worry about the friends behavior. The friend was just defensive and being protective of him. I get that. But, when I flipped the situation and thought about how I would treat a person, I realized I would have never snapped and been so cold and rude. And now that there’s been more time since my breakup, and as I continue to only say nice things about my ex when people ask why we’ve split- the only person that’s left me with a bad taste in my mouth is his friend and his behavior. Behavior from a guy who preaches being understanding, and having empathy for the human condition; someone who is very emotional himself. If my ex and I don’t hate each other, he needn’t be so rude.

As I move on and WHEN i fall in love with the next man I choose to make important in my life- I’m not gonna let this experience make me be closed off. I’m not gonna get jaded or bitter. I’m gonna remain open, and meet the next love of my life’s friends and family, and love them as if they were my own. I’ll just cross my fingers and hope they don’t act like total unfeeling, asshole, hypocrites for no good reason – if the whole thing goes awry/falls apart. That’s the hardest part sometimes- staying open and childlike and always believing in love. but i am, and i do. I love you. Xo

PS: TOMORROW FROM 10:30PM – 12 MIDNIGHT PST, I’LL BE ON THE RADIO!

KXLU 88.9FM LOS ANGELES.

CALL IN AND SAY HELLO! THE # IS (310) 338-5958

By: boycrazy on October 23, 2009
Tags: break ups, photo by tim barber, thoughts and stories
17 Comments »

one of the most horrible things about getting out of a relationship is being at a party and not having your eye on anyone as a potential make-out or sexy rendezvous. it is in that moment you realize ‘i am truly alone’. sure, you can rationalize it in different ways like ‘you’re never really alone when you have your friends around’ or ‘you’re not alone if you’re in close proximity to other human beings who are making direct eye contact and speaking with you’. or, ‘like hey, what if i was at this party alone cuz my bf was out of town or something?’ well, he’s not. you’re single! who knows where your bf is? cuz you don’t have one and your ex is probably fucking a 17 year old boy, i mean girl, somewhere.

you are alone in the sense that- you have no one who is one phone call away- willing/able/actually excited/maybe even generally interested in listening to all your boring, i mean personal, stories/woes/rants/daily sagas. you have no one to check in with. your mom and bff don’t count. i mean they do, but that’s not what i’m talking about.

tonight i went to a party and i was excited. that’s the great thing about being single- you never know what’s gonna happen or who you’re gonna meet. (that’s ACTUALLY the great thing about life in general. you just ‘never know’- good OR bad!) but you also have to prepare for it to be a bust too! and tonight, romantically speaking- it was. BUT i met great women and was comfortable in my skin and all that. i had a nice time. i did. for the first time, i didn’t make the night a winning situation ONLY if i put my attention on some cute guy and conquered him for the evening. whether conquering means making out/sexxing/gaining approval via attention/ or whatevs! no guy there ‘did it’ for me, and that was actually ok.

i still haven’t had sex since my break up. when was that again? about a month and a half ago? i hadn’t had sex two weeks prior to the break up either! shit, so it’s been like two months!? holy shit! i’m dying over here! i am a living, breathing example of how women need/want/crave sex too! I’m not saying I’ve been an angel. I’ve totally done everything but have sexxx- but being finger blasted and oral sexxx is just not the same.

I’ve changed since the ‘me’ before my last relationship. i don’t want to get naked with some random dude. (ok, maybe a few) I’m a girl who’s not super ugly. I’m not gonna lie- I’ve had opportunities. it could have already happened- but i feel like I’m a virgin all over again and I’m waiting for the PERFECT person to take my new-found virginity. i also REALLY don’t want to get herpes aids cancer aids.

more and more i need the guy i have sex with or even fool around with to be someone i can talk to; i have to actually give a fuck what he has to say; i need him to be/seem GENUINLY interested in me; and who is someone i can be/feel safe with. even if he isn’t the one- i need someone to know/think I’m special. someone who gets me- before he can be inside me. what’s that saying? a friend with benefits? (ugh. i can’t believe i just typed that.) and i’m learning that THAT is rare to find. so, until then, i will keep busy with work, spend time with my friends, and touch my privates all on my own. and at least when i finger blast myself, i’ll have the courtesy to wash my hands first!

By: boycrazy on October 8, 2009
Tags: alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, rants, single
36 Comments »

Holy shit! I’m fucked! Why didn’t anyone tell me being single was a fucking war game, 24/7 battle alert! or did i just forget?! I already hadn’t had sex for about 2 weeks before my breakup! Now it’s been about 3 weeks or MORE!

Boys are calling, but not only am I NOT ready emotionally to get slutty/i mean sexy/i mean intimate with someone- I’m totally not ready physically! I should really tone up my legs, shed 10 pounds, wax my vadge appropriately, and make sure my apartment is tidy at all times- swiffered and all. that means scrub tub, make sure there’s no hair in hairbrush- while it’s on display, and turn dream boards around – so some new/random dude i invite into my home doesn’t learn that one of my life goals is to become the white oprah, etc! PLUS: no picking at ingrown hairs on my bikini line!!! but I think I did that to make sure i wouldn’t get in a situation where I would allow myself to take my undies off. I don’t have herpes (YET) and I wouldn’t want people to think I do – all because they spot a blemish that I created, while playing doctor/hair removal specialist on myself!

-more single life reminders-

•Go to gym/start running- FAST

•Get a bathroom trash can that hides your yucky trash, not one that just sits there revealing weird stuff that, even if it’s not weird, could be misinterpreted. for example: if you blot your lipstick on a tissue, and throw it in the garbage, a guy could glance over and think the tissue is a bloody rag! think ladies, think! this is war! i mean, love! i mean, i don’t know what it is, but it’s time to start thinking!

•Get new car.

•Get new date outfits.

•Get maid to clean your house PROPERLY.

•ALWAYS wear a cute bra and undies!

•Buy condoms in all different shapes and sizes- cuz you never know when you’re gonna meet a guy with the biggest privates you’ve ever seen! and you can’t rely on a dude having condoms! so annoying! be prepared! cuz we girls love sex too! riiiight!

PS: if you’re ever forced to get ready at 1am to meet some dude at his hotel, and you look like shit- here’s a ‘how to’ guide for getting ready in a flash! xo

stupid gets ready: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

By: boycrazy on September 9, 2009
Tags: advice, alexi wasser, break ups, how to apply eye makeup, imboycrazy, videos
32 Comments »

hey girl heeeyyyy! the break up list continues! i know break ups are hard, but you MUST handle your shit and take control of your life! you can’t just fall to pieces! do not let your heart drop into the pit of your stomach! keep moving, and keep busy! the minute you stop, you might collapse, so just keep going forward:

DUH! GO SHOPPING!

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT PICK AT YOUR FACE!

DO NOT CHECK HIS FACEBOOK/TWITTER PAGE/OR BLOG EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR!

BREATHE! STOP WONDERING WHEN, AND WITH WHO HE’S GONNA MAKE-OUT WITH OR SEXX FIRST! DON’T LET HIS ACTIONS DEFINE YOUR ACTIONS. ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO YOURSELF! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. AND WHEN YOU’RE READY/WANT TO FOOL AROUND WITH SOMEONE NEW- DO IT! BUT DON’T TRY TO PROVE A POINT TO HIM.

YOU CAN’T BE MAD IF HE KISSES/SEXXXES SOMEONE NEW. HE’S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND ANYMORE.

(HOLY FUCK. THAT LAST ONE WAS EVEN TOO MUCH FOR ME, AND I’M WRITING THIS LIST! YUCK. JUST THE THOUGHT MAKES ME WANT TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK AND DIE/FUCK EVERYONE AS I RIP HIS HEART OUT FOR MAKING ME DO IT- CUZ HE DID IT FIRST AND I WANT TO SHOW HIM HOW MUCH HIS ACTIONS HURT ME. EVEN THOUGH HE’S NOT MINE/NOT MY LITTLE BEAR CUB ANYMORE! ANYWAYZIES, BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING ABOUT STAYING POSITIVE:)

NO! DON’T HAVE SEX WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS! DO I REALLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY?

DON’T WASTE TOO MUCH TIME RE-HASHING WHAT HAPPENED, WITH EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO CALLS AND SAYS ‘WHAT HAPPENED?’ IT’S OK FOR THE FIRST COUPLE OF DAYS. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT’S EATING INTO TIME THAT COULD BE SPENT MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVELY!

HAVE POWER MEETINGS- ALL DAY, EVERYDAY! WOOOO!

WATCH BRIDGET JONES DIARY AND THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA! CUZ YOU CAN!

MAKE-OUT WITH VINCENT GALLO!

WITHOUT KNOWING HOW OR WHY, ASSUME YOU’LL BE ATTENDING THE ACADAMY AWARDS NEXT YEAR- AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY! TAKE YOURSELF SERIOUSLY, MAINTAIN YOUR BEAUTY, AND TREAT YOURSELF LIKE THE PRINCESS YOU ARE! NO YOU!

MOISTURIZE EVERY BIT OF YOUR BODY BEFORE BED! ESPECIALLY YOUR BOOBS EVEN!

DON’T GET LAZY AND FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH/FLOSS!

DO YOUR LAUNDRY FOR GOD’S SAKE!

GO OUT DANCING WITH YOUR RE-INSTATED GIRLFRIENDS. BUT DON’T HAVE SEX WITH SOME RANDOM DUDE YOU MEET AT THE CLUB! IT’S OK IF A GUY CORNERS YOU FOR A MAKE-OUT THOUGH. I MEAN, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT IF HE’S  WAY PERSUASIVE AND A BABE!

ORGANIZE YOUR CLOSET YOU SCOUNDRAL!

HANG OUT WITH NATE AT FAMILY BOOKSTORE!

SELL THE SHIT YOU DON’T NEED/WANT ANYMORE- AND WHATEVER THEY WON’T BUY, DONATE TO GOODWILL! YOUR BREAK-UP IS SAVING LIVES!

SEE MOVIES ALONE AT THE ARCLIGHT!

GO TO THE 101 CAFE BY YOURSELF AFTER THE MOVIE AND PEOPLE WATCH! IF YOU SEE A HOT BABE, AND I MEAN UUBER HOT, SEND HIM A PEICE OF CAKE AND WAVE!

WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL! GET IT ALL OUT BITCH!….. ON PAPER… GROSS!

TAKE EPIC WALKS AROUND THE CITY!

GO ON LONG DRIVES!

LISTEN TO OLDIES! BUT NO MIX CD’S HE MADE FOR YOU!

DO KARAOKE WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS!

GET YOUR HAIR DONE DID!

LOOK GREAT WHEN YOU GO TO HIS HOUSE TO PICK UP THE REST OF YOUR STUUFF. EVEN THOUGH, TECHNICALLY, HE SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT ALL TO YOU. BUT, LET’S FACE IT, HAVING AN EXCUSE TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN IS PRETTY EXCITING! AM I RIGHT?!

HAVE BREAKFAST AT A FANCY HOTEL! FOR EXAMPLE: SIT AT THE COUNTER AT THE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL COFFEE SHOP!

DO NOT SLEEP WITH ANY/ALL OF YOUR EX’S FRIENDS! IT’S NOT COOL. NOT COOL AT ALL. UNLESS HE DID IT TO YOU. THEN GO FOR IT. AN EYE FOR AN EYE! EVEN IF IT MIGHT MAKE THE WORLD BLIND!

did i mention i love you? cuz i do! xoxo

PS: click HERE for ANOTHER reminder of why it’s better to be single than with the wrong person. xo

By: boycrazy on September 2, 2009
Tags: alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, rants, the break up list, vincent gallo
19 Comments »

it’s a new day! (yayzers, crazers, amazers!) and it doesn’t have to look as bleak as yesterday. YESTERDAY, i said my tearful goodbye to my now ex- and NOW i have to keep as busy as possible;  so i don’t slow down enough to even have a chance to regret breaking up, miss him, or feel the loss in general. it’s funny though, nothing has really changed, we’re both in the same town- but just knowing that the ties are cut makes me feel a little unsettled/uneasy. like i don’t have a place. like there’s no one to tell about my day, no one to protect me, or hold me. but allow me to slap myself in the fucking face and snap the fuck out of it! let’s get positive! (as i pause and stare at the computer screen with nothing in me to write). jk, jk!

here’s a breakup guide to remind us of what to do when we’re starting over and mourning the death of something:

GET YOUR NAILS DONE SOME WACKY KUH-RAZY COLOR YOU NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED! HOLLAH! MUTHAH FUCKAH!

TYPE IN ALL CAPS LIKE YOU DON’T GIVE A FIZZ-UCK!

WRITE THE BOOK YOU SAY YOU WANNA WRITE/ WRITE THAT SCRIPT (AND NOT AT A COFFEE SHOP, YOU ‘NEW TO HOLLYWOOD’ LAME-HEAD!) YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT!

LOOK GOOD EVERYDAY! (YOU NEVER KNOW IF AND WHEN THE EX WILL DROP BY. OR WHO ELSE YOU COULD RUN INTO!)

ONLY WEAR WATERPROOF MASCARA- YOU BIG CRY BABY!

KEEP A GAME FACE! AND MY ‘GAME’ I DON’T MEAN UGLY! KEEP IT CALM, COOL, COLLECTED!

FLIRT!

STOP TELLING EVERYONE YOU JUST BROKE UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ON SATURDAY, I MEAN, WHENEVER!

DO NOT BINGE EAT!

DON’T GET BITTER, GET BETTER!

TALK TO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! REMEMBER THEM? THEY’RE THE ONES YOU’VE BEEN PUSHING TO THE WAYSIDE WHILE YOU WERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP! DON’T WORRY, I’M SURE THEY’LL BE HAPPY TO CONSOLE YOU- ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE A TRUE FRIEND, WHO’S GONE THROUGH IT TOO!

KEEP SHAVING YOUR LEGS! THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO BECOME A DIRTY HIPPY!

STAY POSITIVE! I ALREADY SAID THAT!

GO TO THE GYM AND RUN AT LEAST 3 MILES- EVERYDAY!

WHEN RUNNING, WEAR 3 SPORTS BRAS! DON’T LET THOSE TITS SAG GIRLIES! YOU’RE SINGLE NOW- WE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES!

WAX THAT VADGE! NOT FULLY, FALL IS UPON US. JUST KEEP IT TIDY. HOW ABOUT: RETRO ON TOP. A NEAT AND KEMPT TRIANGLE. (NO LANDING STRIP BULLSHIT!)- AND SLICK LIKE A BABY ON THE BOTTOM! YOU’RE WELCOME!

GO TO THE OLYMPIC SPA, OR ANY SPA WHERE YOU CAN STEAM AND SAUNA!

WEAR FACIAL MASKS! (NOT OUT IN PUBLIC, YOU’RE NOT A MIME!)

TAKE YOURSELF OUT TO DINNER IN LAUREL CANYON!

GO TO THE CANYON COUNTRY STORE, GET A LATTE, AND SIT OUTSIDE!

BURN SAGE- IN YOUR HOME AND IN YOUR CAR!

WATCH REALLY BAD/GREAT TV! I LOVE: THE RACHEL ZOE PROJECT, CONAN O’BRIEN, FLIPPING OUT, TALK SOUP, PROJECT RUNWAY, OLD SCHOOL BH 90210, AND REAL HOUSEWIVES…OF ANYWHERE!

DON’T GET DRUNK! THE ALCOHAL WILL BLOAT YOU AND IS A DEPRESSANT! WE’RE TRYING TO MOVE FORWARD HERE, REMEMBER?!

SINCE YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE, CUZ YOU JUST GOT OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP, USE YOUR ALOOF NATURE TO REEL IN THE BABES- TAKE THEIR NUMBER; AND WHEN YOU’RE READY, YOU’LL CALL.

GO ON HIKES.

BUY CONDOMS! AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO TELL THE FIRST NEW GUY YOU SLEEP WITH THAT HE NEEDS TO GET TESTED BEFORE YOU DO IT. IT’S THE TIMES WE LIVE IN. IT JUST IS! YOU HAVE TO DO IT TOO THOUGH, AND THEN YOU TWO CAN SWAP RESULTS! 2009=SEXXXXXY TIMES! RIIIIIGHT?! WHEEEEEE!

FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT IN A DUDE!

FIGURE OUT WHAT PROBLEMS YOU HAVE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON!

TAKE BUBBLE/EPSOM SALT BATHS!

FOCUS ON WORK!

REMEMBER, YOU WANTED TO BREAK UP! TRUST THAT THIS DECISION IS FOR THE BEST.

HAVE HOPE FOR THE FUTURE AND ALL THE GOOD THINGS IT WILL BRING.

MAKE YOUR HOUSE NICE! OH NO, IKEA COULD DRUDGE UP SAD EX BF MEMORIES! WALK THROUGH IT MY SISTER! BE BRAVE BITCH!

PAY YOUR RENT!

INVITE YOUR FRIENDS AND INTERNS OVER!

MEET NEW PEOPLE!

JUMP ON THE BACK OF A CUTE GUYS VESPA!

DON’T DO DRUGS! NO REALLY, DON’T.

STAY FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX! WISH HIM WELL, AND THINK GOOD THOUGHTS! JUST BECAUSE IT DIDN’T WORK OUT, DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO HATE EACHOTHER!

WATCH: SEX AND THE CITY (EPISODES & OR THE MOVIE)/MOONSTRUCK/VALLEY GIRL/DAZED AND CONFUSED.

GO HORSEBACK RDING!

TAKE YOUR VITAMINS!

DON’T SMOKE. THAT’S PROBABLY WHY HE DUMPED YOU!

MASTURBATE TOO MUCH! FANTASIZE ABOUT YOUR CAREER TAKING OFF, YOU’RE DREAMS COMING TRUE, OR JUST YOUR DREAM DUDE IN GENERAL!

START USING THE WORD ‘HUNK’. EXAMPLE: ‘THAT GUY’S A HUNK!’ GOING TOO FAR WOULD BE: ‘THAT HUNK’S A HUNK!’ EDIT YOURSELF.

DON’T EDIT YOURSELF. UNLESS YOU’RE SUPER BORING, AND LIKE TO TALK A LOT. THEN SOME INTERNAL EDITING MIGHT BE HELPFUL IN MAKING YOU MORE LIKABLE.

READ IMBOYCRAZY.COM – THAT BITCH IS FUCKED UP!

i love you! xoxo

http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/55841/02%20Boy%20Crazy.mp3

By: boycrazy on September 1, 2009
Tags: alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, rants, the break up list
19 Comments »

i kinda don’t know what to write. me. i can usually rant about anything. but I’m shocked. i was dating someone for about a year and two months, someone who mattered to me. it wasn’t a perfect fit (even though he loved me and i loved him) and so we decided to stop seeing eachother. his behavior pushed me away, and my behavior DEFINITLY pushed him away. i take responsibility. i had a feeling we were gonna break up. it was looming, but for some reason, i didn’t think it was gonna end over the phone while he was in Santa Monica and i was in Hollywood. he didn’t want to see me in person.

it’s been a couple of days now. we still haven’t seen eachother. after a year and two months, i think ending it face to face would have been the decent thing to do. i know this is hard for both of us, but i would have preferred a proper goodbye;  looking eachother in the eyes, recognizing the fact that we mattered to one another, that this wasn’t a dream, and that our relationship really happened. but, he refused and snapped at me when i brought this up. it’s fine. it has to be, he won’t budge. at least it gives me more evidence of why we shouldn’t be together.

i wish you well Mr. i learned a lot.  tell your family i love them, even if that last bit of advice from your mom was bad. i just wanted some respect- a dignified goodbye/parting of ways. I’m gonna assume you shut down because you don’t know how to deal with the emotions you’re having. this is a bummer, but i AM glad we met. i wish you well, and I’m a better person because of the time we spent together. xo, me

update: he came over today. we said goodbye face to face, had a chat, and i think we’re actually gonna be friends. he’s a great guy. and i totally don’t hate him. xo

By: boycrazy on August 31, 2009
Tags: alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, photo by mike piscitelli, rants, thoughts and stories
12 Comments »

So, a few weeks ago, i said i would help you.

last week i started to deliver your messages.

today i have a few more deliveries!

steven gained weight: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

for jade: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

sloppy monster: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

By: boycrazy on August 14, 2009
Tags: advice, alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, let me break up with your boyfriend, videos
10 Comments »

a few weeks ago i offered my services to you. you wrote me e-mails telling me your problems and asked me to serve as a tool to help you communicate. i got so many e-mails i freaked out. it was a bit overwhelming. enough to make me change my e-mail address. but, last night , i pulled it together and answered a handful in a row. hope this helps. don’t worry, no one knows who I’m speaking to. everyone is anonymous. only the person who wrote me the e-mail knows who I’m talking to/about… and you can decide if you want to alert your friend or NOT. i love you!

it’s over, little privates/cheater! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

bad teacher from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

dick bartender: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

By: boycrazy on August 7, 2009
Tags: alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, let me break up with your boyfriend, videos
5 Comments »

let me break up with your boyfriend for you: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

By: boycrazy on July 22, 2009
Tags: alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, let me break up with your boyfriend, videos
18 Comments »

By: boycrazy on June 2, 2009
Tags: alexi wasser, break ups, imboycrazy, rants, thoughts and stories
11 Comments »