the blind leading the blind (part 109):

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1. ‘jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.’ – drake ‘over my dead body’

2. never break up with a guy who offers to mount your tv on your wall BEFORE he mounts your tv on your wall.

3. if school curricula were determined by the subjects’ contributions to future happiness, 50% would be allocated to relationships. -Alain de Botton / @alaindebotton

4. hey guys! guess what?! lilacs are back! girls love lilacs! give girls some lilacs!

5. if his favorite book is ‘the story of the eye’ throw out all the eggs in your fridge and break up with him immediately! you AREN’T that kind of gurl!

6. never let a relationship interfere with your career. if it interferes with your work, that means it’s the wrong relationship. OR that you are a career driven selfish monster who is incapable of love and opening your life up in a real way. but hey, YOU decide.

7. stream of consciousness style texting has got to stop. it’s too much and makes my phone beep to the point of wanting to kill myself and/or the person texting me.

8. no way! that’s so kewl! you met a guy while he was riding his bike?! awesome! but before you go out with him… make sure dude owns a CAR!

9. be in the world but not of  the world.

10. play truth or dare more. especially if your friends are a bunch of terrified, shy, pussies. it’s perfect for coaxing your friends out of their shell!

PS: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

PPS: this is one of my favorite songs in the entire world…

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

So you’re in a relationship with a guy that you have luke warm feelings for? hmmm…….are you fucking kidding me? good enough isn’t good enough! the idea that not all people have experienced deep, true, epic love is mind blowingly sad to me! Let’s get you true love!
DON’T SETTLE: you shouldn’t be luke warm about a guy!!!! After a few dates you should know what he is to you. he’ll fall into one of the following categories: a guy who’s stupid, but has a big dick and you only want him for sex. or he’s cute, stylish, arm candy, totally whatevs.
or he’s a dude you might really like, but he’s super aloof with you and can barely reply to your texts and you just know he doesn’t like you. Which, HOPEFULLY, if you’re not like me-should be a turn off. OR, he’s a time filler/warm body. OR he’s a REALLY funny guy, but you should just be friends, cuz ultimately you’d be humiliated if you were seen in public together and mistaken as a couple. OR, he’s rebound dude/good kisser.
*** To me, the love of your life is this: He makes you nervous. you can’t stop thinking about him. you have 3 hour long phone conversations. he beats you (just kidding-wanna make sure you’re paying attention). He’s like medicine! you can’t stop talking about him. you can’t wait to see him again. you two wanna be together all the time. The sex is great. you love how he smells. you love how his skin feels. you love the way he thinks. He makes you laugh. you believe in him. All this should be MUTUAL! One sided will not work! However, it’s ok if there is a power shift from time to time. Who holds the cards will change-this keeps it sexy and interesting. If someone asks you if you’re crazy about him-if you even hesitate for a split second-it’s a lame dud waste of time and you just answered your own question. Walk the fuck away. Peace out! you just did both of yourselves a favor. your true love should make your life better. He should be a facilitator of dreams!


BOTTOM LINE: i think it’s sooo important to makeout with everyone, and have up close and personal pillow talk with cute and/or interesting dudes….but don’t get locked in! have an awesome fling, and then get the fuck outta there! you’re too sexy and young to get in a rut! no matter what your age or sexy factor! I’m serious. dead serious. fyi: i don’t mean to be a weirdo slut, but i think that flings are important because the essence of a person you get during a makeout, the side that you get to meet, the things that they say…are like priceless gems. you’re collecting intimate experiences. you’ve become an intimacy collector. and if you’re going to give up this aspect of yourself, if you’re going to give up this opportunity to share private moments with sexy dudes that could possibly resemble a member of the strokes circa 2001 or Michael pitt…..to be monogamous…..YOU BEST BE IN LOVE MUTHAH-FUCKAH! or else it’s not worth it!