reader submission: a high school girl and her teacher

Dear Alexi,

After reading your blog for years now, I knew that you would be the woman with the most insight and solid advice I could possibly get my hands on for my situation. After over a year of joking about fucking my incredibly hot history teacher, fantasy seems as if it may be turning into reality. This 23 year old man is pretty much the man of my sexual fantasies: tousled brown hair, bearded, dresses ridiculously well (Frequently in plaid, vintage sweaters, straight legged pants, peacoat, layers his clothes, all his colors are coordinated), listens to great music, reads great books, watches great films and tv, frequents small business coffee shops, cultured, passionate about social inequalities, etc etc etc. Everyone else in my school pretty much dismissed him as being gay because a man that attractive could not possibly dress that well, but I was pretty stubborn in saying that the way a man dresses does not determine whether or not he likes taking cock up his ass.

Read the rest of this post >>>

reader submission: “Cheating; or how I got with the man I was crazy about and completely fucked up my world.”

I will try to make this a fairly quick version of what could be an insanely long story. I was living with my boyfriend of close to 10 years, Derick, when I started to go crazy. Derick was my first serious boyfriend–I lost my virginity to him, and him to me. He was and still is the most patient, loving, amazing guy, the guy that every girl dreams about being with—someone who surprises you with little gifts or handwritten poems—and not just in the beginning of the relationship but all the way through it.  But the best thing was that he matched my personality so well. While I was abrasive, had a strong personality, and wanted to be out doing something constantly, he was quiet, super smart, and loved by every single person he met. I didn’t realize that not all guys were like this and I took that for granted.

Read the rest of this post >>>

reader submission: “10 Things I Hate About Online Dating”

1. The Interests

Everybody likes music, and art, and traveling, and the outdoors, and sunshine, and having fun. These are not things that give any insight as to who you are as an individual. I wouldn’t even really describe them as interests but more just standard features that come with any human being. It’d be like shopping for a used car and coming across an ad that says “Great vehicle, runs on gasoline, tires are round, has matter and density.” I still don’t know the make, model, year, milage, accident history, horse power etc. If anything I view the vaugness as a trap into buying a lemon.


2. I’m shy but I’m not shy

A lot of girls can’t decide on what they are. “I’m shy but I can also be very outgoing.” “I’m just a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl that loves to get dressed up and go out too.” “I’m a realist but I have a bit of a hopeless romantic side. . .”       When filling out your “about me” section you should use a “Which of the following best describes me?” approach. Like an SAT question, choose the letter that best answers the problem, don’t fill in every bubble.


3. The Nerd

Some girls like to pick out one non-airhead thing they do and then call themselves a nerd. The degree they give themselves can vary from: full on nerd, half nerd, a bit of a nerd. It’s always juxtaposed with some characteristic indicating that they are still attractive. For example: “I’m a nerd that likes to play scrabble and do crossword puzzles, but I also love doing girly things like getting my hair and nails done. . so I guess that makes me 1/2 nerd and 1/2 beauty. . . .”    For the record, the occasional board game does not qualify you as a nerd, or as you are really trying to imply, smart. This would be like me playing a game of HORSE and then calling myself a jock.

 

Read the rest of this post >>>

reader submission – it started as a one night stand:

It started as a one night stand and now I’m married. The chronology is
still a bit blurry. But, let’s get a few details straight- I love him.
I don’t regret marrying him and I don’t resent him for getting me to
this place. But, nonetheless, I’m really not the marrying type and
neither is he.

Like I said previously, we started out in that awkward margin. I met
him at the local dive bar; he was working behind it and I was drunk
because of him (and not in the romantic sense). The night was fuzzy…
But it was something about his hands. He definitely was never my type
and still isn’t. He wore camo shorts and a nasty, ill-fitting
Clockwork Orange t-shirt. My friends called him dirty so I went home
with him, mainly because the sex was bound to be epic- it always is
with the unkempt ones. And it was good for a drunken romp. I figured
I’d never speak to him again and so I pulled out all of the stops
(isn’t that breaking the first sexual encounter rule?). I got on top,
I tugged on his balls, and I even let him finish in my mouth. I felt
dirty just being in his bare room, fucking on his futon with a
fluorescent bulb making me look even more haggard than I felt and
Sonic Youth playing in the background. And that was exciting. Or maybe
dangerous. Both?

After it was over, I awkwardly climbed off of the futon, threw on my
clothes, said “thanks for, uh, that…”, and started to leave.
“Wait. Shouldn’t I get your phone number or something?”
I turned around and gave him my best attempt at a smirk. I felt as if
all of the Jameson I had consumed earlier that night was suddenly
turning on me in the most vicious way and I had to get out of there.
“That was fun and all, but I don’t date people who I fuck for fun.” It
had sounded better in my head. My tongue felt like it was expanding
and the room was twirling in that maniacal sort of manner.

I expected him to look hurt but, instead, he laughed. And it was genuine. Shit.
“Sure, I get it. Ok, well, come into the bar sometime. I’ll buy you a drink.”
And that was it. I puked all over his stained carpet (proof that I may
not have been the only one) and then left without offering to clean up
my mess. It wasn’t the nonchalant, sexy exit that I had pictured in my
head, by any means.

Anyway, I suppose you could say that the rest is history. His hands
brought me back into his bar. The Jameson got me back onto his futon.
And his genuine laugh got me down the aisle. It’s gross, I know. At
least I still hate that fucking Clockwork Orange t-shirt.

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ boycrazyalexi@gmail.com

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU

reader submission:

Dear Alexi,
This is not part of my “submission” per se — just wanted to let you know how much I love love love your blog. I want so badly to be loved and so far just keep getting fucked, especially since I don’t try to hide the fact that I love sex and am not a “wait until the third date” kind of girl. I am scared and lonely and hopeful and ready all at once, and I feel very at home when I read about your experiences. I broke up with a guy (I think) this week who I was falling in love with, and this is what I was thinking about today…thought after all the stories you’ve shared with me, you should have one of mine. Love you.

________________________________________________

I promised that once I got too attached again, I’d end it. I did, so I did. But in my effort to minimize the hurt headed my way, I still ended up crying myself to sleep, drunk off my ass on a Monday night. I woke up the next morning and try to piece together the events. Did I break up with you before or after I made out with the German surfer who lives in Lisbon and is into Seattle music? I hope it was before, though I only kissed him because you made it so painfully clear that I was nothing more than a fuck buddy to you and you didn’t care what I did in my free time. I was trying to prove that I didn’t care, either.Did I even break up with you? When I woke up, your number was deleted — so were all the texts you sent and every record I had of you ever calling me. I’ve done this before, when I broke up with you the first time, so that’s why I assume that’s what happened.. Or did my phone just malfunction? Or did I catch you with some other girl and freak out and go into delete mode? Or did you break up with me? Shit, I hope that’s not what happened.It’s humiliating enough being the person who’s more in love in any given relationship. One of the few perks of that position, in my experience, is you usually get to be the one who ends it, since you’re the one who eventually gets so exhausted doing all the work, so disappointed and melancholy, that you just have to break it off. Of course, the ulterior motive in this is always that breaking up with the person will give him the jolt he needs to realize that he can’t live without you. That’s how it happens in the movies, at least. So I hope to God it wasn’t you who ended things with me. I don’t think I could survive that extra bit of hurt.Though that might be just what happened. I’ll be the first to admit that I was acting needy toward the end there, and especially that Monday night. For the record, I was acting needy because I needed you. So I’m not going to apologize for that one.

 

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ boycrazyalexi@gmail.com

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU

Reader Submission (from a boy) – ‘Put Down Your Shields’:

 

Today I saw ‘The Most Beautiful Girl In The World’ (an Ideal that’s constantly shifting) working in a Bakery in Newtown.

She had AshBlonde hair, thick black eyebrows, slightly anorexic but with high cheekbones. She looked as if she were in terrible pain, almost like she were dying. Naturally I bought a Blueberry Bagel from her. She smiled, which in turn made me smile, but the procedure of this slight Social Interaction had naturally come to an End. Just like a good foreign film that finishes too soon, I was stood there watching the Credits fly out of nowhere, their proverbial text scrolling in her Eyes, the Lights had come up, the curtains closed across her Fringe, & I was pressured to leave my Seat so the next patrons could visit the Show. As I reluctantly shuffled my way back onto King St, I started thinking about the Division, & just how hard it actually is Out There for a Single Guy these days. I’m somewhere between Carrie Bradshaw & Hank Moody, see. I’m definitely not a chain-smoking sex columnist nor am I a voracious, successful womanizer. I am simply a young, straight single male in their mid 20’s, so what have I to complain about? Well, lets start with the Barrier…

Read the rest of this post >>>

reader submission: Why You Should Stop Liking Me

Hi Alexi,

You are honestly such a source of inspiration for me. Your words have guided me through relationships and lust and crushes and learning to love myself and I really don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t discovered your little blog in 2009 and spent all of Thanksgiving Day reading back and back until the first entry. Now it’s 2011 and it’s never disappointed me. I wanted to send you this essay I wrote:

Why You Should Stop Liking Me

You have got to stop liking me. I’m just a left-handed only child and I have absolutely nothing to offer you.

I really hate intimacy because of this huge scar on my arm. It’s totally ruined sex for me and touching and petting and all that. Therapy isn’t helping so it could be years before I feel comfortable with my body. I mean, unless Rory Culkin comes along.

Read the rest of this post >>>

reader submission- how men affect my reflection:

 

“Can you try to lose a little bit of weight?”

He just said it, straight up. Like I am at a model casting or something. I know you’re going to call me out on being a pussy about this, just suck it up right? The thing is I know I should lose weight. However, I didn’t think that this would make my boyfriend of 3 years more uncomfortable than my American Apparel skinny jeans.
This happened immediately after our decision to get back together after a 1-year-break. I kept thinking about what he said over and over again. My anxiety crept in. Is there another woman I’m competing with? If so, why are we even back together? Should I keep some clothes on when we’re fucking? Has it gotten that bad? Should I have snapped back asking the same thing of him?
“You know you’re looking pretty scrawny, mind working out more often?”
No. That’s not my style. The only way I fought back with this is with another voice.
A voice he doesn’t know about.
It was during our 1-year break. I stayed the night at an ex’s house, a friend now. I was emotionally damaged, raw. He was my comfort blanket.
“You’re so much more than your body”
He knew I was feeling insecure about my body after skipping from a size 2 to a size 6. I’ll always remember how I felt after he said it. The tone of his voice, the things that followed. “You’re so smart, beautiful, down to earth, creative etc.”. The things all women want to hear.
I remember looking at the mirror when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Feeling beautiful. Admiring myself, my curves, my full lips and brown eyes. Not conceited, but confident. Crawling back into bed knowing the man I’m sleeping next to wanted me just the way I am.
How can it be? I’m the same size now but when I look at myself I only notice the 4 inches I should lose off my waist. Insecure on where I stand with my boyfriend. Unsure if I’ve made bad decisions in these past few months. How can I cut everyone’s voice out when I’m getting ready to go out at night or examining my body during a shower. How can I gain trust in myself that I’m beautiful without a man’s approval (and especially with a man’s disapproval)?
-if you use this (which I doubt you will) I kind of just wanted to tell this to you please don’t post a name with it.

xo, girl

dear girl,

of course I published this. I’ve felt and been in the same place as you. your letter made me cry. you ARE so much more than your body. you are beautiful and healthy and enough!even though i don’t advocate eating tons of cake and soda and candy and letting your body/figure go to shit… I sure as hell don’t advocate starving yourself or thinking that all you are is your appearance.

your mind, and your humor, and your kindness, and your passion and love and creativity and work and laughter and how you treat others and yourself are what make up the best and most important parts of who you are.

personally, and I’m sure you agree, I wanna be with someone who is kind, who treats me well and treats me the way I wanna be treated, the way i know i deserve to be treated, who makes me happy and smile and inspires me to be my best, who I feel safe and beautiful and secure around, who makes me laugh and turns me on, who is my best friend and holds me tight whispering all the beautiful things your ex was whispering in your ear. so dump this bonehead… or at least tell him how his inconsiderate comment made you feel. you are enough. I love you. Alexi

 

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ boycrazyalexi@gmail.com

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU

reader submission: dating older men…

Hi Alexi,

I am hoping you do some writing on the topic of dating older men.  My friends and I love slutting it up with younger men/middle-aged men and putting some grandpaws in between for good variety, like a some dick trail mix.  Can you share your experiences or others about dating older men?  So far it has not been terrible, except for the fact they are still trying to use tactics from the year I was born (84)….and I fear if I get into a relationship with any of the oldies, their ding dong will stop working at least by the time they are 55 and then our father/daughter relationship will become more awkward.  When do guys ding dongs stop working?(this is a very controversial topic!…and I feel that other people have lied to me about it).Steaming mad

I also notice a difference in how men/women interact in today’s world vs. 10 years ago.  I think guys and girls do a lot better job of being friends and casual hump buddies than even 10 yrs ago?  Remember all the movies about girls chasing the boy and him rejecting her(80’s flicks)….

I think women finally realized they are just men, but with a different crotch and all that rejection stuff men played at, was just a control tactic.

Boys will be boys and girls will be boys, when boys aren’t looking.

Please talk about the older ding dongs and female pimps.

Thank You,
Anna

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ boycrazyalexi@gmail.com

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU

reader submission- ‘denial: i want to be in love.’

Hi Alexi,

Why is it that I feel the need to pretend I’m not lonely, when I am? The idea of admitting aloud that I dislike being single and would love to find someone and fall in love, it makes me squirm. As ridiculous as it is, I look down on people who jump from person to person to person, when in reality, they are just looking for the same thing I crave. Single and “looking” sounds like desperation to me. Perhaps it’s because I associate it with those who will take anyone who comes around, and will settle for a mediocre relationship, rather than be alone. But that’s not the case, is it, really?
God forbid, however, you give a member of the opposite sex reason to believe you’re interested in a relationship. This, for me, has lead only to a painful and often abrupt ending. How would you direct us in our quest?  Any advice for those of us who are secretly “looking”? Or does it always have to happen when you least expect it?
xo

JOIN THE I’M BOYCRAZY CONVERSATION! 

IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!

I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:

AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!

TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?

E MAIL ME @ boycrazyalexi@gmail.com

write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)

OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)

PS:

• follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

• call me and leave a voice message: 888 666-2045

(ask me a question, tell me a secret, or say something neat)

I LOVE YOU



Page 3 of 812345...Last »