Are you FUCKING kidding me?

So you’re in a relationship with a guy that you have luke warm feelings for? hmmm…….are you fucking kidding me? good enough isn’t good enough! the idea that not all people have experienced deep, true, epic love is mind blowingly sad to me! Let’s get you true love!
DON’T SETTLE: you shouldn’t be luke warm about a guy!!!! After a few dates you should know what he is to you. he’ll fall into one of the following categories: a guy who’s stupid, but has a big dick and you only want him for sex. or he’s cute, stylish, arm candy, totally whatevs.
or he’s a dude you might really like, but he’s super aloof with you and can barely reply to your texts and you just know he doesn’t like you. Which, HOPEFULLY, if you’re not like me-should be a turn off. OR, he’s a time filler/warm body. OR he’s a REALLY funny guy, but you should just be friends, cuz ultimately you’d be humiliated if you were seen in public together and mistaken as a couple. OR, he’s rebound dude/good kisser.
*** To me, the love of your life is this: He makes you nervous. you can’t stop thinking about him. you have 3 hour long phone conversations. he beats you (just kidding-wanna make sure you’re paying attention). He’s like medicine! you can’t stop talking about him. you can’t wait to see him again. you two wanna be together all the time. The sex is great. you love how he smells. you love how his skin feels. you love the way he thinks. He makes you laugh. you believe in him. All this should be MUTUAL! One sided will not work! However, it’s ok if there is a power shift from time to time. Who holds the cards will change-this keeps it sexy and interesting. If someone asks you if you’re crazy about him-if you even hesitate for a split second-it’s a lame dud waste of time and you just answered your own question. Walk the fuck away. Peace out! you just did both of yourselves a favor. your true love should make your life better. He should be a facilitator of dreams!

BOTTOM LINE: i think it’s sooo important to makeout with everyone, and have up close and personal pillow talk with cute and/or interesting dudes….but don’t get locked in! have an awesome fling, and then get the fuck outta there! you’re too sexy and young to get in a rut! no matter what your age or sexy factor! I’m serious. dead serious. fyi: i don’t mean to be a weirdo slut, but i think that flings are important because the essence of a person you get during a makeout, the side that you get to meet, the things that they say…are like priceless gems. you’re collecting intimate experiences. you’ve become an intimacy collector. and if you’re going to give up this aspect of yourself, if you’re going to give up this opportunity to share private moments with sexy dudes that could possibly resemble a member of the strokes circa 2001 or Michael pitt… be monogamous…..YOU BEST BE IN LOVE MUTHAH-FUCKAH! or else it’s not worth it!

I Like Boys……

I’ve been referred to as a manizer, a maneater (both literally and figuratively-yuck!), a flirt, a makeout bandit, out of control, blah blah blah. i won’t launch into the whole double standard between men and women! it is what it is, and so i choose not to care. i like looking at goodlooking boys. they’re everywhere: at target, video stores, newsstands, standing next to you, looking out at you from the pages of a magazine, record stores, the supermarket, EVERYWHERE! this blog is all about meeting boys, rendezvous, behavior which could be possibly be labeled as desperate and borderline stalker-esque…….but i promise, it will totally entertain you by either making you (the reader) feel better about yourself, or teaching you where the boys are, and what to do when you find one you wanna makeout with and possibly have sex with. don’t get aids though. use protection ladies, or gay boys, or whoever’s reading this post. i love you.