1. sometimes the most important thing is knowing who NOT to take advice from.
2. when you’re stressing out cuz your latest crush or object of your affection is not texting you, REMEMBER, there are a SLEW of other men who also have your phone number who are also not texting you.
3. when dating someone new, talk about babies, marriage, your expectation of him sending you flowers / buying you presents / wanting to meet his family & vice versa / and any and all of your expectations of him in general – not because you mean any of those things, but because it’s fun to torture men and see how much you can throw at them to see if they’ll stay. he won’t.
4. you know how it seems like you are so much more attractive when you’re in a relationship? it’s cuz you feel secure and spoken for and the opposite of desperate. one of the most important things after a breakup is to hold on to the confidence and sense of security you had while you were in the relationship and carry it in to your single life. this makes you much more attractive and grounded in yourself.
5. if you’re feeling low about living in a tiny apt, start referring to it as your ‘pied à terre’. it’s so much more chic and an instant spirit lifter!
6. don’t worry! you can always just secretly get pregnant!
7. don’t feel guilty about it. it’s completely natural and normal… and i feel the same way. I know I shouldn’t be, I KNOW I shouldn’t be, but I’m SO attracted 2 men in range rovers!
8. “love, when it hits us for real, has a half-life of forever.” -junot diaz
9. if you sit in front of your laptop with photo booth open, you’re never really alone.
10. girls, be careful with your drinking. learn from those who have made mistakes before you, so you can avoid the same mistakes. here’s one specific tip: don’t try to finish your drink as quickly as possible when you’re leaving a party/bar. it can really send you over the edge. here’s why: girls are different from men. our body’s don’t metabolize alcohol the same way. we’re way more delicate. and drinking alcohol quickly is very dangerous; it spikes your blood alcohol level rapidly and can cause you to black out or have fuzzy patches/amnesia the next day. even if you’re drinking no more than usual. even if it’s only 2-3 drinks (which is my norm because i usually drink on a full stomach and I’m 5’11, but that’s just me). how much you’ve eaten, how tall you are, how much you weigh, and how quickly you drink can REALLY affect you. so drink slow, have water after each drink, make sure you’re drinking on a full stomach, and be careful. you don’t want to suffer from a next day shame spiral of what you said, did, or how you came across. but more importantly, you don’t want to find yourself in a cosby-esque situation, or hurting yourself or someone else. so be careful and be mindful. but if you do have a bad night and it’s out of the norm and you are lucky enough to wake up the next day safe and sound (after having taken an uber), be thankful that all you’re worried about is potentially having said dumb things loudly. at least you’re alive! instead, use this as an opportunity to reevaluate how you take precautions to protect yourself from something like this happening in the future. take a break from drinking for a bit. but at the same time, don’t shame / guilt yourself too hard. after all, you’re only human and life happens. just be safe and use this life experiences to guide you and teach you about what you do and don’t want for yourself.