the blind leading the blind (part 52):
1. if you’re white and you sneeze or crinkle your nose when a non white person walks by, it means you’re racist. Even if you THINK you’re not, you totally are! It’s your sub conscious revealing the truth on a whole deeper level dude! How does it feel to be such a racist, racist? Not good I’d think! Not good at all! Douche!
2. it’s totally ok to live your life with the intention of impressing people. AS LONG as the first person you want/aim to impress is you!
3. always leave a message. UNLESS you’re a pussy. Then, only communicate via text, fb, and twitter.
4. there’s nothing less sexy than a cute guy at a bus stop: #clitoralhardoff.
5. dont say ‘gal’! It makes everyone around you feel like they’ve been punched in the stomach!
6. don’t refer to your husband as your ‘hubby’. It makes everyone around you feel disgusting!
7. just cuz someone asks you to hang out doesn’t mean you have to. It’s TOTALLY OK to say no! Really know that! Cuz it took me a while to figure this out/get used to it- cuz I always felt obligated and too shy to say no.
8. start waking up earlier you lazy fuck! Nicole Richie wakes up at 5am EVERY DAY! That’s mutherfuckin’ early yo, but she gets shizz done!
9. never trust a person who doesn’t LOVE the arclight.
10. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. don’t do it. time makes everything better. i swear!