1. When drinking water always add lemon! It’ll make you feel like you’re super important and better than others! Even though you’re totally not!!!

2. When looking for a lie to get out of talking to someone; you can’t say your dad died AND you just found out you have cancer. you have to choose one or the other! Both are just too much!

3. When dining at a super authentic japanese restaurant, where everyone is asian but you, do you ever think ‘im in a room surrounded by horrible drivers’? Yeah, me neither! Cuz i’m not racist!!!

4. Years from now, I never want my mom to be mistaken for a homeless person.

5. My biggest fear is being spotted holding a yoga mat and wearing flip-flops in public.

6. Taking adderal and weighing yourself every hour ON the hour is such a rookie move.

7. Instead of texting ‘i got my period’ text ‘i got my .’ it’s way chicer.

8. Why do so many boys pace when they’re on the phone?

9. Dear boys, be the type of guy you would want your daughter to be with.

10. Next time, only take HALF the pill!!! you can always take the other half, but you can never go back after taking the WHOLE pill!

ps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

By: boycrazy on July 18, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
8 Comments »

1. a Gentleman ALWAYS pays for your morning after pill.

2. be uuber aware of how much time and energy you spend thinking about your crush. It could be detrimental and keep you from getting important things done.

3. one of my least favorite things is watching my friends in miserable/shitty relationships lie to each other, stay with one another too long, and pretend to be happy.

4. real friends don’t ask for rides to and from the airport. that’s what FAMILY, taxi’s, and car services are for.

5. dear ALL waiters and bus boys in AMERICA: please don’t take a persons plate away if the person/people they’re with are still eating!! it’s rude/wrong on so many levels/and just not proper etiquette! in europe waiters are actually professionally trained and this is a BIG no no. it makes people feel rushed, uncomfortable, etc.

6. Never call coffee ‘joe’.

7. If the death of steve jobs didn’t push you over the edge into finally buying an iPhone: you have no heart.

8. I’ve finally decided what it is i aspire to be in my late 40′s/early 50′s: a real housewife of NYC!

9. relax, take a breath. i know you feel rejected and alone, but don’t get angry. i mean, all he or she is guilty of is not loving you. And that’s ok.

10. if he makes you coffee with creme and sugar with a dash of cinnamon the first time you wake up at his house, but he ONLY gives you black coffee the morning after the next time you spend the night… he likes you less. way less. in fact, it’s probably over.

ps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

pps: ‘boycrazy radio’ is CANCELED tonight.

ppps: please, never be ANYTHING like EITHER of the girls in this video.

By: boycrazy on July 4, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind, videos
6 Comments »

1. whenever you’re in a weird grumpy mood, and people get mad at you for it, you can always just lie/pull the rug out from under them and say “oh sorry, my dad just died.” this is only allowed if you hate your dad and wont be bummed if your dad dies later that day because of karmic retribution. #happyfathersday

2. whenever you see an ugly white guy with a beautiful Asian girlfriend, it means he’s rich and has very little hands.

3. sometimes a trip to the supermarket is the perfect opportunity to try out/test an outfit! and if you’re having a hard time walking in the shoes, at least you can use the shopping cart as a crutch.

4. i hate when people look unsure. but, like, that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole right? you feel the same way too, don’t you?

5. Make eye contact with grumpy looking people and smile at them! help the strangers turn that frown upside down. it feels powerful to melt someone’s bummer face away.

6. probably best not to learn how to dj. otherwise there’s a chance you might end up being a dj.

7. there’s a difference between a dating ‘red flag’ and a dating  ’tell.’ for example, a dating ‘red flag’ would be if, over dinner, your date said ‘i was molested when i was four years old and ever since then i can only fall asleep to the fantasy of murdering my mom.’ as opposed to a dating ‘tell’, which might sound something along the lines of: ‘i drive a purple pt cruiser with leopard interior.’ both suck, but one is way worse than the other. your job is to decide which is which.

8. ask yourself this: what’s the last thing you did for the first time? and then do something NEW for the first time!

9. how to tell a dude isn’t for you: he refers to his feet as ‘dogs’ and when his feet hurt, he says ‘my dogs are barking.’ if this phrase falls from the mouth of the dude you’re seeing… run towards a dude that doesn’t use that phrase!

10. i’m sorry. I don’t want to talk shit about you. I really don’t: But your wearing sunglasses indoors makes you look like an asshole. Always.

PS: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

By: boycrazy on June 18, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
12 Comments »

1. costume parties are so bossy! RSVP: NO!

2. don’t WRITE tweets, COMPOSE them.

3. don’t date/engage with people who wear fedoras. just trust me.

4. stop worrying about people liking you. you should be more concerned with whether or not you like them!

5. in a way, the casual unannounced drop by is the best thing in the world because it immediately shows you who to cut out of your life.

6. the best part about inviting a boy over to your house instead of going out, is that you don’t have to choose shoes that go with your outfit. you can just answer the door barefoot! this is when you can showcase all the outfits  you don’t have shoes for!!! #yay!

7. before you start telling all of your friends all of your dating/ life drama… hold back. you don’t need all your fucked up friends (this includes your parents) weighing in on your life. keep a little something for you, and be your own life advisor!

8. whenever you’re starving and about to bite into some sort of food that looks like it might give you food poisoning… always remember: at least there’s a chance you’ll lose seven pounds. seven pounds!

9. you know someone REALLY thinks your text was funny when they respond: ‘haaggahaha!’ dont you see?! They think you’re sooo unbelievably funny and are laughing sooo hard for real, that they be typo-ing all over the muthah-fuckin place and hitting that ‘g’ by mistake!! may ALL your texts warrant a ‘haaggahahagag’ reply!

10. i know you’re saving your fancy purse for a special occasion (and no, I’m not talking about your vagina.) But what if you die tomorrow? Every day is a special occasion.

By: boycrazy on May 22, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
8 Comments »

1. if you’re too embarrassed to tell your therapist what’s going on in your life… it’s time to SLOW DOWN and reevaluate your choices.

2. it makes me soooo happy when my life seems to follow the same path Starbucks decided to build in. #yay

3. just because he’s in a band doesn’t mean he’s cool.

4. I wonder how much money I would make if I got one of those ‘square’ devices and charged people to see my boobs.

5. I feel the same way about face-book’s timeline as i did about Felicity’s haircut: sometimes change ISN’T for the better!

6. break up! you’re miserable. you’ll thank me later!

7. Sometimes something as simple as a calf stretch can change everything!!!

8. Remember flash mobs? Yeah, me neither.

9. I mean, essentially, fruit flavored mentos are just really big pastel skittles.

10. Ugh, you DON’T have Thai iced tea?! I THOUGHT this was a sushi restaurant!!! Gawd!

ps: 

let me speak at YOUR high school! you WON’T regret it… but the faculty might…

By: boycrazy on May 11, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
12 Comments »

1. sometimes who you don’t sleep with is even more important than who you DO sleep with.

2. one of the worst things about the iPhone is when you’re about to take a photo and you turn on the camera and the camera’s facing you and you see yourself from an angle that makes you cringe! an angle you’ve never seen before, didn’t even know existed, and makes you want to die!

3. remember how it was all about coconut water, and then it wasn’t. Well it’s all about coconut water again! I know. Me too.

4. before you start questioning your self-worth because a guy isn’t texting or calling you like your ego would like him to… decide if you even like HIM! cuz chances are, you might not even like him anyway.

5. dear dudes, a random text at two in the morning that says “so when are we making out?” doesn’t do it for me or any other girls with self-respect, who are worth dating. but, then again, you probably have no interest in actually dating… so come on over! sorry i overreacted.

6. do something that scares you every day!

7. when referring to yourself as someone who wants to do something/achieve something: it’s ‘aspiring’ not ‘inspiring’. but i’d rather you didn’t refer to yourself as being an ‘aspiring’ anything… cuz it just makes you sound like a loser who will never actually achieve whatever bullshit it is you aspire to achieve to begin with. good talk.

8. referring to your stomach as your ‘tummy tum’ is adorable, and totally NOT annoying.

9. hey, asshole: wait till people come out of the elevator or train before you go in!

10. I don’t believe in bumper stickers! And neither should you.

By: boycrazy on May 4, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
11 Comments »

1. Men love it when you tell them they have great calves. Trust me.

2. Dear Starbucks employee, I know you don’t care, but could you please not touch the part where I put my mouth with your dirty bare finger? xo, me

3. I know it makes you feel better to say ‘oh, she’s just jealous’ but sometimes people just don’t like you cuz you’re annoying and a horrible person.

4. every time I choose NOT to use a filter on a photo of my face before i instagram it… I feel a little bit better than everybody else.

5. Sometimes I fee like Emoji’s are totally condescending! Am I alone in this?

6. Fashion week in New York is to modelizers what Coachella in California is to groupies.

7. Wait, what? YOUR ringtone is marimba? No way! MY ringtone is marimba!

8. Dudes, girls don’t want to date you if you have a roommate. Especially if that roommate is your girlfriend.

9. I know what you’re thinking “Relax Alexi, it’s JUST Baja Fresh.” But man, when they get it right, they get it RIGHT!

10. You know a woman THINKS she’s really beautiful, when she’s ALWAYS late.

PS: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

By: boycrazy on April 13, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
11 Comments »

1. This week it’s all about having lots of fascinating, cool, interesting male friends. it’s so much chicer to have lots of guy friends than to be locked down by a boyfriend!

2. Just because he’s famous doesn’t mean you have to be attracted to him!

3. What’s better: a Band-Aid on your face or a pimple? Because I’m leaning towards Band-Aid.

4. But don’t wear a band-aide on your face too often. You don’t want to start being referred to as ‘the Band-Aid face girl’: “so I heard you went out with band-aide face last night. How was that?”

5. One of the most wonderful simple pleasures/joys in life, is when you’re driving your car and listening to music and you see somebody walking down the street to the same beat as the music you’re listening to.

6. You know your friend’s disgusting when they’re more excited about peeling off a biore nose strip than anything else.

7. When a BOY says ‘I’ll call you tomorrow’, he texts you tomorrow. when a MAN says ‘i’ll call you tomorrow’, he calls you tomorrow.

8. Don’t shine a spotlight on things you don’t want people to notice. Stop talking about shit you don’t want people to pay attention to!

9. Instead if thinking ‘ugh, i always wear the same thing!’ or ‘i always wear the same nail polish. People will think I’m boring/poor/safe.’ start referring to things as your ‘signature look’! it turns a rut into something chic and cool!

10. Bras in the dryer? Are you fucking kidding me?

PS: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy 

PPS: i’ll be speaking tonight Tuesday, April 3rd at 8:30pm at ASU (ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY) - Tempe Campus. I’ll be at Cholla Apartments in the E-Lounge. Park in the Rural Road parking structure, it’s free after 7pm, and cross the street to Cholla Apartments- the apartments with the Maroon & Gold shades just north of Dutch Brothers on Rural!

Spread the word!! Post any questions on the Facebook page!

By: boycrazy on April 3, 2012
Tags: photo by juergen teller, the blind leading the blind
2 Comments »

1. forever 21 should start carding.

2. the all girl hipster version of the band ‘slipknot’ would be called ‘sloppy topknot’.

3. you know what’s NOT ‘amazeballs’? the word ‘amazeballs’.

4. every once in a while you should go to the gap. But only once a while.

5. it’s easy to say ‘i love you’ when you don’t mean it.

6. as a single woman, you reach a certain point where you start thinking ‘is this the point where i decide to get a cat?’ i refuse to reach that point.

7. …however, if cats gave massages and manicures, i would totally get one.

8. ‘friend of a famous person’ is not a job title.

9. don’t ever say ‘food always tastes better when you’re eating alone’ out loud! girls: this’ll make you sound like a binge eating/secret eater/Cathy comic. and guys: this will make you seem like a creepy/tubby/sweaty/pot smoking/chronic masturbator…. even though it’s true! i mean, let’s face it: eating alone’s the BEST/WAY BETTER!

10. I don’t care what everyone else says about you. I like you!

ps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy 

By: boycrazy on March 19, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
11 Comments »

1. when you order delivery just for you and the restaurant brings your food with two sets of utensils… it’s time to start ordering less food.

2. there are so many invisible variables when it comes to a relationship. so much of it can be great, but all it takes is that subtle x factor that isn’t right (that you can’t quiet put your finger on) that can ruin it/make it crumble/make it not right.

3. town cars are soooo much chic’er than limos. trust.

4. girls: please don’t refer to yourself as a ‘slut’! let other people do that for you… behind your back.

5. I wonder if the delivery guy from the restaurant I’ve been ordering from a TON recently is having sexual fantasies about me now too.

6. if you’re at the point where when you tell your friends you’re having a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend and they respond ‘what is it NOW?’ it MAY be time to reevaluate your relationship.

7. an expired condom is better than NO condom.

8. sloppy chic bangs make you look younger because only a youthful idiot would cut their own bangs.

9. sex with someone new, who you’re excited about, is filled with infinite possibilities. whereas sex with an ex is just sad and will more likely than not leave you lonelier than you were before.

10. just because I’ll love you forever doesn’t mean I want to be with you now.

ps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

By: boycrazy on March 8, 2012
Tags: the blind leading the blind
8 Comments »