the boy who ACTUALLY likes crime scene sex:
oh my fucking god! the hills was OFF the the motherfucking chain last night! that shizzzz was fucking AWESOME!
*spoiler alert, spoiler alert: the bar fight, the new characters, a more likable lo, audrina’s make-up is less severe, lo and audrina friendly with one another, Brody and Spencer face to face! what the fuck???
as usual i sang the theme song aloud, alone to myself with feeling, emphasis and pride. like a true champion who should know better but has an intense loyalty to her show!
speaking of LOYALTY: for the first time, i understood what spencer meant when he challenged Stephani’s family loyalty! i’ve never been on his side before, but what kind of sister shows a third party text to her brother’s fiance! even though, Spencer WAS flirting! (i mean who are we kidding?) but it’s not like he has a website called imGIRLcrazy or anything geeze!
AND: did everyone see my friend CHARLIE on the hills last night?! if you missed it, you’re a SICK masochist!
i think i can hear my gay dude neighbors talking about Heidi, Spencer and the bartender! i almost wanna run over right now in no bra and just my flimsy nightgown, knock on their door and scream “my FRIEND is on the hills! the hills!” but i can’t, because a small small part of me has logical restraint.
NOW, onto my next topic: this is Freddy. the other day i went facebook crazy. i requested everyone & anyone who looked familiar, goodlooking, young, had a cool name and/or bangin’ default pic! freddy was one of these people. he wrote to me; told me we’d met 7 years prior and had seen eachother around town ever since, but really never spoke. i was at the 101 cafe one night and facebooked him back saying “if you’re near the 101, swing by and i’ll interview you.”
NOT ONLY DID HE SHOW UP….. BUT HE RODE THERE ON HIS BIKE!! Freddy is a sweetheart. a lovely man. but one thing stuck out in his interview! something that made that bike ride and my decision to facebook him TOTALLY worth it! enjoy! xoxo
boycrazy video- the boy who actually LIKES crime scene sex! from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
shopping didn’t make it better:
I’m a little glum. Lately I’ve been keeping away from even looking in forever 21. And today, when I decide to venture in….the inventory is seriously disappointing. I used to love going inside, getting lost for hours, running into stylish girlfriends of mine and making the covert hand to the lips gesture signifying “you never saw me here.” But not today my sisters, not today. And what’s worse is that it looked as though the men’s selection was way hipper! What the fuck is that shiz all about? Oh well, at least we’ll have cuter clothes to borrow from the boys we’re making out with. (even though TECHNICALLY the dudes we sleep with should not even know what forever 21 is, and should only sport apc, American apparel, and MAYBE a touch of opening ceremony. but i said ‘making out with’, not ‘fucking’! so that leaves the spectrum wide open!) oh xx1! although it wasn’t your day….I haven’t given up on you yet! Or even you, heritage 1981! I’ll be back, I just hope you are too! WHOOPSIES UPDATE: I blogged too soon! I ended up finding an awesome pine green and black plaid flannel and a super cute spaghetti strapped billowy tank top. keep spending money at xxi! it’s all good!
Hope your Christmas was awesome! did you watch ‘a Christmas story’ or ‘home alone 2: lost in new york’? that’s good. hope you didn’t eat too much, you’ll only regret it. i feel like I’m always telling you that. but you can handle it! i know you can! you sexy Christmas goddess you! well, in case you missed the hills last Monday…..allow me to show you what you missed. i know I’m supposed to be a hills hater, and my target audience would feel the same way, but if the hills is your guilty pleasure, like it is mine, this is the most epic hills yet! emotions will really start to flow and tension will escalate when Lauren and Heidi are at the same event. keep in mind, they used to be BEST friends, and now they never talk! all because of Spencer. i was in tears. check it out! xo H.A.G.S.
I’m not allowed to be sad:
Today I’m on my way home from new york. i was here shooting a movie. it was great, and now it gets even better…i get to fly VIRGIN AMERICA!!!! yayzers! i truly feel that anything Richard Branson touches is golden! i love you!
Here’s me, trying to keep busy during the downtime. it’s like audrina on the hills once said- sometimes you have to be your own best friend. or maybe that was whitney or lauren or heidi. never mind! fuck i love that show! anyways: People are dying,children are starving, and I can’t find the perfect outfit! My god, does it ever get easy??? I am a monster.
I went to the elizabeth peyton show at the new art museum. she’s my favorite painter. i think she’s boycrazy too.
On a side note, can I send my American apparel tote bag to the dry cleaners? I’m at a crossroads cuz I REALLY don’t want it to shrink in the wash, but its sooo dirty and needs to be cleaned. I wonder if everyone can tell how filthy my tote bag is, or if its just me? just another thing weighing me down and is quite honestly, borderline shameful. I let you know what happens.
PART 2-The Blind Leading The Blind:
11. a lot of dudes are gay. A lot of dudes aren’t gay. your job is to figure out which are which. Good luck! Cuz I can’t tell anymore.
12. take a bath in epsom salt at least once a day. use it for your longest soak. it gets rid of any water you might be retaining.
13. drink at least 1.5 L of water daily. but be wary of the dream dashers who will try to bum out your new water incentive by telling you that too much water will flush out all your vitamins and kill you. these are lame, jealous, and unhappy people. just try to drink your water.
14. shave your legs everyday-even though I’m a big believer in the theory that the night you DON’T shave your legs is the night you end up meeting the boy of your dreams/or sexiest makeout ever!
15. get rid of all the negative people in your life. Toss ‘em. They’re energy drainers, and there’s no time for them.
16. try not to be one of these energy drainers. Otherwise, you might get tossed!
17. you can’t feel bad or hurt by someone-unless u let them hurt you. I’m talking about feelings and emotions and stuff. A punch in the face will totally hurt anyone! So take control of your feelings and don’t let anyone hurt them or have power over you. Haven’t you seen the last scene of labyrinth!? “you have no power over me!” Jesus!
18. even if u aren’t letting people hurt your feelings-be consciously aware of the assholes who try to. wish them well in your mind, and then get the fuck away from them. you don’t have to be a hater to cut the dead weight out of your life my little babies! Shit, that reminds me, I’ve gotta sort some shit out in my own life.
19. sex makes you happy: unless you were raped or molested and it brings back weird memories. in which case, that’s totally terrible and I’m sorry. you should talk to a therapist. feel free to write to me and I’ll suggest someone qualified to help you deal with that. you are loved.
20. movies/TV shows to watch if your pms’y or sad or just wanna feel girly and super awesome:
dazed and confused
broken english
when harry met sally
valley girl
16 candles
moonstruck
pretty in pink
notting hill
high fidelity
metropolitan
last days of disco
my wife is an actress
closer
my so called life
felicity
arrested development
Madonna documentary- I’m going to tell you a secret
unzipped-isaac mizrahi documentary
truth or dare
project runway
the hills
beverly hills 90210-old school version
tim guns guide to style
house
30 rock
freaks and geeks
conan o’brian
(light easy breezy viewing that will make you feel like a citizen of cozytown usa!) xo
Page 1 of 11
-
-
Featured Categories
-
Friend Alexi
