the blind leading the blind (part 132):




1. if your ex-boyfriend is texting you more than your current boyfriend… there’ s a problem.


2. everyone keeps saying, ‘people who post selfies are narcissist fucks’… NOT TRUE! The TRUTH is, if you DON’T post selfies, it means you don’t like yourself. Glad we solved that one! Phew! Now let’s all lean towards self esteem!

3. if you are one of those people who has an application that alerts you to who unfollows you on insta or twitter, you are a loser.


4. if you are one of those people who has an application that alers you to who unfollowed you on insta or twitter and then you confront the person who unfollowed you about it, i have no words for how embarrassing you are.


5. spotify is a million times better than pandora. but you know that already… right?


6. dear erewhon and all other deli sections of supermarkets: don’t let the handles of the ladles and tongs, that you grab with your bare hands, touch the food it sits in! it’s disgusting!!! And ps: you’re supposed to be wearing gloves!!! GLOVES!!!


7. yes, you are SO right! shaving your bikini line is WAY cheaper than getting waxed at a profesh salon! but razor burn isn’t sexy and doesn’t create an atmosphere someone wants to bury their face in… ya know?


8. whichever law & order series you choose as your favorite, says a lot about you. mine is svu. oh no!


9. if you subconsciously feel like you’re doing your boyfriend a favor by being with him,that’s a relationship you should get out of. your poor boyfriend.


10. cats would be so much cooler if they gave massages & did the dishes. i mean, i feel like all i do is feed the thing, go out of my way to entertain it & then try my hardest to NOT be attacked.


the blind leading the blind (part 111):


1. people who are TRULY qualified to be a life coach would NEVER refer to themselves as a life coach.

2. NOBODY likes drop crotch pants! Who approved this design? an A sexual japanese yoga instructor?! NO!

3. One of the most crushing things is when you realize that not everybody in the world is in love with you. ugh. the worst!

4. if you can’t say it in person, don’t say it over text.

5. i actually don’t think ENOUGH people are people pleasers.

6. hey girls, you know that rogue bit of hair you missed on the top of your knee that’s like so super hard to get rid of when shaving your legs? GET RID OF IT!

7. always look on the bright side/be prepared: if & when you DO get herpes, at least have a list of all the people with herpes you’ve been too scared, but DYING to sleep with thus far!

8. when someone sends you a we transfer file, don’t ignore it and then lie to the person, saying that you watched the vid or whatever it is they sent you. download it first and THEN ignore the content. why? because the sender knows if you’ve downloaded it or not via confirmation email. At least with the pity download, the sender won’t feel unheard, even though they are!

9. yes, phone sex is totally embarrassing. but IM sex is HUMILIATING.

10. in regards to relationships: keep moving forward until someone is worth stopping for.