Alexi In Bed: a talk show (w Ariel Pink, Soko, Father John Misty, Sophia ‘Nasty Gal’ Amoruso, and MORE)

Alexi In Bed with Jim Smith (owner of the super cool, all ages, LA music venue ‘The Smell’)

first love:

He was gorgeous. He was older than me. 18 to my 15. the coolest boy i had ever met. A drummer of a band. i guess I’ve always had a thing for drummers. I’ve put up with tapping from boys for so long, and now when they do it, it just annoys me, instead of fascinate or turn me on.

he had been in and around my life for a while without me knowing it. in 9
th grade the coolest of the 11th grade girls let me and my friend Alana tag along with them (at their mercy) to a rave in downtown la. we all got ready together, lied to our parents about where we would be, what we would be doing.

before going to the rave, we had to stop at some coffee house on ventura Blvd. i can’t remember why (map point?- no) or what it was called. the alligator lounge? no. blue iguanas? no. just, SOME coffee house. we were waiting for kelly’s (prettiest of the cooler older girls- at least in my opinion) boyfriend to show up. 

he was older than her and she was crazy over him- but all i could think was ‘who is this mystery dude? he’s running super late and ruining the party!’ but because i was frozen, in fear of not being cool, and planning EVERY word i uttered around the older cooler kids….i picked and planned what came out of my mouth minutes before i said anything! and regarding kelly’s late bf, i kept my fucking mouth shut and smoked. (at this point in my life, i think i had yet to learn abut inhaling.) 

i smoked Marlborough menthol light 100’s. LAME! homeless people wouldn’t even take my cigarettes. it was many raves/shows/nights later- up all hours at Twain’s/canters/nova express (all ages coffee shops and late night spots)- that i was FINALLY taught to inhale. why didn’t anyone tell me? how embarrassing! but, geeze, NOT inhaling totally didn’t hurt like INHALING. i guess you have to pick your battles. cool won over common sense, getting in trouble with grown ups, and cancer EVERY TIME!

back to the story, Kelly’s dude FINALLY showed up! his name was Felix. i barely looked at him. i was too shy and didn’t want to reveal to much about myself by staring. he wore high water Dickie’s, etnies, had full hair, not long, just full like a member of the Beatles. had a back pack written on with white out. I’m sure a hackey sack lurked somewhere inside. but that was really none of my business. he seemed angry and serious. for the first time ever, i saw the older girls i thought were the coolest- revert to being just as big a dork as i acted when i was around THEM! 

a year and a half later, i was walking from my moms house in north Hollywood to a coffee shop on lankershim blvd.(hey, when you’re 14, it’s all you can do!) and who was walking out of an early evening band practice sesh?…..Felix! i couldn’t breathe! it was a sign! he was it!!!! he and kelly had long since broken up. it was a whole new era…. and i was about to be 15! the possibilities were endless!(to be continued)

just another day:

Please don’t think I’m a COMPLETE asshole, but the other day- while I was eating at whole foods-(something I put together ALL BY MYSELF at the salad bar) I was TOTALLY put off my food when a homeless person walked by me. I didn’t want to be put off my food/lose my appetite for sooo many reasons. I didn’t want to be THAT shallow and judge mental/easily affected by dirty people. PLUS, I was starving. But she walked past me like 3 times and by the 3rd time, I was done! She had won. Oh fuck, now that I think back, I should have given her my food instead of throwing it away. But would that have been more insulting? Oh well. Too late now. I left and got a Starbucks. Then I drove to another whole foods without even thinking! (isn’t that adorable?) I went grocery shopping. i can be so efficient and responsible when i put my mind to it. When did super markets become such a beacon of hope and a security blanket in my life? While there, I spotted a cute dude in the parking lot. I was hoping he’d walk into whole foods, but alas- no. He was heading into the 99 cent store. don’t EVER pick up dudes at the 99 cent store. you’re only asking for trouble. Inside whole foods #2, I bought some rice cakes, cuz I really wanted something sweet, but didn’t want to feel guilty. Rice cakes are a meaningless food that do nothing for you, but at the time it seemed way better than a vegan piece of cake. I had a whole plan: caramel and/or cinnamon toast flavored rice cakes, with honey on them. This was a snack that made sense in my head. Sometimes, I truly feel that if I can wrap my head around what I’m eating/and it’s not super processed, and there aren’t too many components, it can’t be that bad for me. And as long as I don’t eat 12 of them, I’ll be fine. So I get into the checkout line, and the dude who was originally going into the 99cent store got in line behind me! No way! I couldn’t believe it. it was a pre Christmas miracle! I acted super aloof and quasi casj(casual). And only smiled when I caught him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. The market was super hectic and people kept bumping into us. the holiday rush and whatnot! YOU know what I’m talking about! That’s when I ever so lightly, opened my mouth and said “its crazy in here!” Yeah! I DID IT! a man magnet i am! the ball was in his court! He smiled. he loved me! I looked down at my basket. i had to give him a break from my penetrating gaze. i mean, i didn’t want him to faint or anything. And that’s when I saw his feet pitter patter out of the line…… and away from me…….and he never came back. I guess I’m not as cute as I think I am. merry Christmas.