the blind leading the blind (part 99):

1. Getting a doggie bag on a date is social suicide. i’m talking to girls AND guys.

2. There’s nothing more simple and cliché then opening a text or email flirtation by typing ‘i had a dream about you last night.’ it’s a CLASSIC! I’m ALL for it!

3. Dear fun/good pop songs: stop with the talking chunks in the middle of your epic song! It kills the whole vibe on the dance floor! yes, I’m talking to you Taylor Swift! i love you, but it kills the dance-y flow of ‘never getting back together’! don’t fight me on this!

4. If he doesn’t ask for your number as you leave his house at 3am after your post club/party hookup, he ain’t gonna call/he doesn’t wanna call. #Brutal

5. In friendship, just like in dating: Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you and another person tried each other on for size to see if you’re compatible as friends, and it just wasn’t a match.

6. Chances are, if you’re over/unsure about the person you’re dating… They are too!

7. Girls: when it comes to talking about anal sex; even if you’ve had it, just lie and say ‘I’m saving that for marriage.’

8. When dating someone new, don’t talk about your ex! Use this mantra to help you remember: More mystery, less history.

9. Ultimately, what’s REALLY important is this: does he make you laugh? is he kind? and most important… does he have a HUGE private?! Just kidding! I meant bank account!

10. Guys: when a girl types ‘…’ at the end of a text, she’s flirting with you and wants you to continue engaging with her. It’ s a lingering, sexy text move. You’ve got her RIGHT where you want her! Don’t blow it!