the blind leading the blind (part 63):
1. summer 2011 is ALL about crop tops! YES, side boob is still WAY in.. but we’re giving ourselves the option of under boob!
2. wearing a heather gray tee out to a club, or any place sweating will definitely occur, is a rookie mistake. it’s amateur hour USA. Always think two steps ahead.
3. eliminate the word ‘buddy’ from your vocabulary.
4. aim higher. No dude, HIGHER!
5. even if you’re only going into the bathroom to look at your face, check your teeth and your nostrils, apply lipstick, and/or wash your hands… always look at the toilet to make sure nothing embarrassing is going on in there- cuz even if it wasn’t you (and it totes WASN’T, cuz girls don’t do gross stuff), you’re the one who’s gonna be walking out of that room, and whatever embarrassing nonsense is leftover in there- you’ll be to blame. So fuckin’ check yo-self before you wreck yo-self bro.
6. if you notice that the bathrooms at clubs you frequent start to have attendants in them- it means your life is getting better… or worse, depending on how you look at it.
7. girls! Don’t send nude pix! ever! they always end up where they shouldn’t! yes, even with your head cut out of the pic!
8. whenever you text ‘what are you doing?’ you might as well be saying ‘I want you to fuck me right now’. That’s why I always text ‘what are you up to?’ MUCH CLASSIER!
9. you know it’s serious when you move your computer into your girlfriend’s house and it’s NOT a laptop!
10. whenever you text or email something that’s questionable, shit talky, or potentially sketchy… ALWAYS remember its subject to be read/shown to everyone you NEVER wanted to see it!
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