they care – part 2:

boycrazy — Tue, 12 May 2009 14:00:00 +0000

the only GOOD thing about how expensive and far away ‘we care’ is- is that, for a person like me it means 1.) I MUST follow the rules, cuz I don’t take money for granted. And 2.) I NEED to be secluded in the desert in order to fast- cuz I don’t have willpower when it comes to food!

I swam, sat in the sauna, lay in the floating day bed under a tee-pee shaped pyramid type apparatus. the people at ‘we care’ said that “it’s good to sit under a pyramid when you meditate” or whatever. i forget why. something like, it helps you be more focused or it gets rid of negative energy or your dreams will come true. they may not have said the last part, but i sat on that daybed under the pyramid like a CHAMPION every chance i got! you better believe it!

LAST time I went to ‘we care’ (five years ago), I fasted for eight days! And by day four, I was in dire need of being f**ked. who knew THAT would be a side effect? THIS time around, I didn’t feel like that AT ALL. But then again, i was only there for three days! phew.

LAST time there weren’t any hot babes at the spa. but THIS time, there was a young-ish (early thirties) musician boy. he even had hair on his chest, which I LOVE! we chatted a bit and swam. but it was all SUPER platonic. something about a spa where you know everyone’s getting colonics kinda kills the sexy. and besides, I have my eye on ANOTHER dude right now.

unfortunately i brought a super boring, practical bathing suit that didn’t define my girlishness/feminine wiles one bit! good thing i WASN’T after the musician babe. he may have totally rejected me. i looked like a twelve year old in an eighties, french new wave film. which, in hindsight, doesn’t actually sound so bad. if i HAD WANTED or been PREPARED to woo a dude into my room, or having a tawdry makeout on a lounge chair or the floating daybed, i would have been sporting one of two American Apparel bikinis that i’m waiting to be sent to me! the cobalt blue bandeau top and retro bottom or the grape colored ULTRA scandalous string bikini! they look rad. but, no. i wasn’t wearing either. life is rough. i’ve said it before.

If you DO decide to come out to ‘we care’, don’t bring the bf. it gets too gnarly and will ruin your relationship. instead, do what I did: lay in the floating day bed under a pyramid tee-pee/go swimming/sweat out more toxins and fat in the sauna/go in the jacuzzi/read a trashy novel/touch yourself/sleep/and write! Or bring your mom! she’ll love it? Xo

they care:

boycrazy — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:00:00 +0000

‘we care‘ is everything i forgot it was! i love it here. it’s like a grown up version of summer camp. women are euphoric here! why? because none of us are eating and that only means one thing: we’re losing weight! i’m the youngest person here. that won’t always be the case, so i’ll enjoy it while i can. you should too, whoever you are. after all, today is the youngest you’re ever gonna be!

i had my colonic, and it wasn’t even scary. the only things that came out of me were bad dreams and pixie dust. just as i suspected. i DID have to ask the colon therapist how the hell she got into this business. her answer was something along the lines of: i was a makeup artist and through learning about health and stuff, i got into this. wtf? i get it, if i squint while i think i about it. either way, i’m officially sold!even if i DO think the whole thing is an embarrassing nightmare of self indulgence! but, i take myself seriously, so if i’m not self indulgent, who else will indulge me?

she said the colon is twenty five feet long and basically the garbage can of your body. you can’t clean it out/scrape the plaque off of it (yikes) without getting colonics. am i drinking the koolaide, cuz this makes sense to me? i’m not a cult member YET, i just see what they’re saying. what? don’t look at me like that! MY colon’s cleaner than YOURS!

there’s some weird shaky machine called a vibra-trim that you stand on and makes your whole body vibrate. they say it’s good to do before a colonic AND its good for your lymphatic system. but mostly it just makes me feel like a kid who likes to wiggle. which i am. in reality, it’s probably on the verge of dislodging by brain from it’s brain holder- but ‘we care’ said to do it, and they TOTALLY care.

i have 2 more colonics to get while i’m here for the weekend.i guess i’ll have to say goodbye to any more bad vibes and nightmares that lurk within me. every hour, i have to take a supplement or drink some kind of tea or juice or detox bev (slang for beverage). it makes not eating easy, cuz there’s a very structured plan and you don’t feel like you’re being deprived. other than that, i’m trying to get out of my head and not be so mental. not OVER THINK so much. i still wanna over think, just not as much as I do.

here’s what i’m learning while at we care:

1. i have an addiction to the internet, texting, my cell phone (blackberry) in general, and coffee.

2. i usually live my life letting food control me.

3. only i have the power to create my life.

4. no one should be able to intimidate me.

all of this sounds very new agey, so i will call this my ‘new age phase’ and leave it at that. i promise; back to trash talking, sexy, funny, boy stuff later this week. xo

IMBOYCRAZY.COM » we care spa

they care – part 2:

they care: