I hate the word ‘masturbating’! It’s so clinical and unsexy! It’s the equivalent of how the word ‘splat’ makes you feel! So hard/harsh and in your face! Gross! I prefer to say ‘touch my privates’ or ‘touch myself’.
anywayzies, the other night, I was ‘touching myself’ and I don’t know about you, but for me, I can’t get off/orgasm/come from touching myself if I don’t have a FULLY realized plot/story/scenario going on in my minds eye! I have to have EVERY detail thought out; rooms, motivation, outfits, order in which clothes are taken off, from kisses- to being eaten out, being flipped over, serious eye contact, his hand holding my cheek- the one on my face thank you very much! you sick dirtbags! Jesus Christ!
For a while I couldn’t come to the thought of being sexed by a dude. No, I came to the fantasies of booking jobs and career goals coming true! Is that sick or what?! I’m right out of a bret eastin ellis novel. Whoa, I don’t wanna get ahead of myself. Sorry bret. I just love your work!
so the other night- for whatever reason, during a NON work related fantasy/masturbating myself session in the dark privacy of my room- it took me a while to take care of myself. but when I did FINALLY come, it was amazing!
as I flung my head back, convulsing- my head hitting the pillow once- then back down again TWICE and FINALLY a THIRD time- the smile slowly fell from my face as I felt the onset of a horrible headache. Blood rushed to my head, but not in the good ‘I just made myself come’ way!
It was SUPER scary! I TOTALLY freaked out! My life flashed before my eyes! ‘I popped a blood vessel!’ I thought. ‘I KNOW IT! I JUST KNOW IT!’ ‘I’m having an aneurysm!’ ‘My brain is hemorrhaging!’ ‘I’m a doomed goner! this is it! I’m gonna die from masturbating too hard! I’m so embarrassed! I did this to myself!’
five minutes later it passed and I was soooo relieved! I picked up my blackberry and wrote this blog post. Be careful, sex is scary dangerous.
By: boycrazy on April 3, 2009
Tags: white trash charms
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